Yep, Shayna, you look like a fox. 
Frankly, I’m surprised this has gone on as long as it had - Daffy has made it perfectly clear that she’s a nasty, snotty, stuck-up bitch.
Why Zabali is continuing to argue is beyond me.
Anyhow - I’m sure everyone will have weddings true befitting their true character.
I like the way everyone is writing long insults, curses, and bad wishes towards me, when I haven’t done that towards anyone. All of the things I’ve said about Zabali have been rooted in facts that she posted. I’ve haven’t wished for any ill to fall upon her or the bride on the wedding day, I’ve actually offered advice on ways for the day to be more comfortable for all involved. I also tried to walk away after posting that advice, but she kept posting and implied that I’d be backing down if I didn’t post again. I will not back down, I am correct and I feel sorry for the trusting and naive bride who has Zabali in her wedding party.
Shayna, if you don’t like the retraction about David’s Bridal that I already posted, I don’t know what else I can do to make you happy.
Shodan, just because there’s alcohol, it doesn’t mean anyone will get drunk. From weddings on my side, and what I’ve heard of weddings on my fiance’s side, I expect one middle-aged uncle to get drunk and fall asleep at his table, and everyone else to have a pleasant evening.
Daffy, you did indeed write long insults, and curses. You just chose to use sneering insinuation to do it. I did not list all the ones you leveled at my spouse who is an innocent in all of this. I hope your life lives up to the best potential it can. I have doubts as to the quality of it because of the attitude you’ve displayed though.
The insults you leveled are NOT “rooted in fact”, nor have you proven this to one nth degree. You made a weak attempt to do so by posting malformed opinions.
You have yet to apologize to Green Bean, and alice_in_wonderland for “bad board etiquette”. They called you on it, and you have competely ignored them.
Thank you, Kayeby, Zabali and alice! Everyone was happy – it was an incredible day. But only the first of many, and of many more to come! Even if I was in a tacky, chainstore wedding gown. :rolleyes:
For a closer-up picture of the beading detail of my gown, go here and then click anywhere on the picture to zoom in closer.
And just so I don’t further hijack this thread, Zabali, I totally understood from the first post in the first thread that you hadn’t approached the bride directly, so as not to cause friction or appear to want to control her wedding. It certainly would be nice if she could understand the incredible stress this one, simple-to-change thing is causing her fiancé’s best friend/brother. I, too, would be completely creeped out if my husband had to escort someone who had previously abused him physically and emotionally, as well as continued to bad-mouth him even up to present.
Sadly, though, there really are only 2 choices at this point. The idea that neither of you should attend at all is utterly absurd, as you obviously do care about these people – at least the groom – and it’s important that you be there offering your love and support. So, short of that, he can either choose to walk by her side but steadfastly refuse to touch her or allow her to touch him, then ignore her the rest of the day/evening, or, decline being “best” man and offer to be a groomsman so he’d still be standing for his friend, but the order of the processional will prevent him from contact with his abuser.
At my wedding, we didn’t technically have a maid/matron of honor, though we did sortof have a best man. Coldfire, who was instrumental in my husband and I meeting and falling in love, acted as our best man, but he escorted my husband’s sister down the aisle, who wasn’t technically even a bridesmaid (no one was, not even my own sisters!). We wanted everyone to feel like they were equally important and equally a part of our wedding ceremony. Therefore we had not only all our family, but all our guests standing with us as we exchanged our vows.
The “processional” was set up in a way that made sense, not that followed any particular tradition. His parents both walked him down together, then my dad and stepmother came in, then Thomas’s sister with Coldfire, then my 2 sisters along with my brother-in-law. Everyone took a position under/alongside the huppa (my family on the side I’d be standing on, his family and Coldie on the other, where he was standing) and then my father came back around to get me and escort me down the aisle.
There are all kinds of accomodations that that bride could make so that an abused man isn’t subjected to intimate contact with his abuser. That she so steadfastly refuses is both selfish and sad.
Just ignore the moh as best you can and focus on celebrating the beauty of the day. And keep your chin up. As they always say, this too shall pass.
Green Bean and I apparently disagree on the purpose of this board. Is it bad board etiquette for me to disagree, just because she has more posts than I do? I replied to Green Bean on the first page. Alice seem to have the same disagreement with my posts (though she doesn’t state it very politely) but I don’t seem to have responded to her yet, probably because I’d responded to those concerns in other replies. I have nothing to apologize for.
If you, Zabali, think that my attempts were weak, or my opinions malformed, that’s fine. It seems a good way for you to ignore the heart of my posts without troubling your conscience.
Your husband is not an innocent. You are not the victim in this. You are not helping the bride who trusts you and considers you a friend.
I wish you both luck in the weddings you either attend or are a necessary part of; however, my vote goes to you two jumping from this wreck as quickly as possible. I think your weeks will go much better because of it. I’m not sure anything constructive or nice can come out of this–not at this point.
YMM, as always, V.
Hey Skip I suggested a page ago that they both bow out (or hell, it would only take one of 'em to do so), but I guess neither one is seeing that they both are coming out poorly here.
We tried.
You know, I think you will continue to repeat that, because it’s the only way you can in any way feel superior to me. It’s the only way you can in any way “claim a successful debate”. How bad must your real life be, that you have to stoop to the methods you just used? Hijacking the related thread, to spread trash on my spouse is VERY low!
You’re a wholly lost cause, and that’s really sad. That said, I have one thing to say:
Whatever! :rolleyes: Snap
erm Family and Friends? Detail of the wedding is all good and true, but it is a very small part of life, I know that and I’m 17! And yet we hear so little about ure fiancee…reminds me of a bridezilla
wring, I did intend to stop posting after your post (even a bit before it, there’s about a page or so where I didn’t post). However, Zabali didn’t. She even replied to herself a few times, so there was a whole string of her posts keeping the thread alive. I wasn’t going to sit still and let her imply that I don’t stand behind what I wrote.
I mentioned my wonderful fiance and my loyal friends first and second on the list. I’ve said in various posts that I hope the evening will be pleasant and fun for my guests (most of the things on the list are for the enjoyment of the guests, I don’t drink and I’ve been told that brides usually don’t have time to eat much at the reception). I’ve also said that my mother is helping me with the wedding planning, if I haven’t mentioned it yet (I think I have), I’d like to say how grateful I am to my parents for giving me the wedding of my dreams.
why not? You certainly don’t care about her opinion of you, right? if she’s misquoting/misrepresenting etc, certainly what you’ve already posted would demonstrate that.
My take on it:
Both of you have room to appologize here. Both of you have acted less than perfectly here, both of you have had options to walk away and leave it alone. I’m hoping one of you at least, will finally take the high road and say “This person isn’t part of my real life, and is only part of my on -line life as long as I keep responding to the thread”, then choose to stop.
Okey-dokey, Daffodil5. Although I think I remember you posting that you don’t drink.
My experience has been otherwise. Possibly my family has a higher proportion of loudmouth drunks than yours - it wouldn’t surprise me.
You are correct that the bride generally winds up starving. The Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan can attest to that, and the groom doesn’t do much better. Eat something. Don’t let the photographer overschedule you. Enjoy the party.
And, if you can stand another piece of unsolicited advice, don’t expect everything to go smoothly, let alone perfectly. It won’t. If you stress out over it, it can spoil things. You don’t need a perfect wedding to start a good marriage. I damn near set tLaTMS’s veil on fire when we were lighting the unity candle, and our twenty-first anniversary is in a couple of weeks.
A wedding where everything is perfect is boring. The guests need something to talk about, and you need stories to tell your grandchildren.
“Grandma, tell us again how Grandpa split his pants at your wedding and accidentally mooned the minister!”
Regards,
Shodan
Of for pity’s sake. If Z’s husband isn’t an innocent, neither is the MOH.
She was 14 - under 16 - he’s guilty.
But wait - what’s this? He was 15 - under 16 - she’s guilty too - the female doesn’t get a free pass just because she’s got a vagina.
Your argument on this point is absurd - “Oooo- your husband is a child molester!!” If that’s true, then the child he molested is also a child molester - do ya see how that works?
Your statements regarding Z’s husband were ignorant and mean. Accusing someone of assaulting a child is pretty serious business, and you’re banding about the assertion without a care in the world.
Your assertion that anyone trying to economize on a wedding so they could, say, buy a house, or have a vacation, or help their ailing mother in the hospital is a low-class loser, or that purchasing a dress at David’s is skanky is just plain old absurd.
In fact, just about every contribution you’ve made to this thread and the other has been mean spirited, petty and low.
Alice, I never said that someone should spend money on a wedding when there are other things their family needs more. Also, if I wanted to search through case law, I’m sure I could find that only the male is ever convicted in statutory rape cases. Unlike the opinion of the prosecutor, case law is actually useful, because courts like to follow the opinions of other courts, it’s referred to as stare decisis. The girl does get a “free pass,” except in cases where she’s decades older than the boy, or his teacher.
Yes, Shodan, I don’t drink, and neither does my fiance. The open bar is for our guests. I’m not having any candles, though they can be so beautiful, because I’m afraid of a fire. I also know that things can go wrong, but have planned carefully and am hoping that nothing major goes wrong, just things that will be funny later
Ok, wring, here goes. “Zabail isn’t part of my real life, and is only part of my online life as long as I keep responding to the thread.”
I’m going to resist even reading this thread any more. I’ve stated my opinions and defended myelf well, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get through to Zabali anyway. So I’m off to pick out my invitations. Ta-ta.
Do you not even understand that you just totally contradicted yourself?
Males are the only ones convicted, ever.
Except in this case, this case and this case.
Listen - stick to weddings. Debate is obviously not your forte.
Agreed, wring. Yoooo’s berry, berry wyze!
Zabali-let it go, at this point, she’s not worth it.
Daffodil-get over yourself. You sound like a complete and utter society bitch. Your perfect wedding sounds tacky as all get out.
I hate it when people project thier own lives onto other peoples’ problems.
Daffy is a bride to be. Ergo all other brides to be are perfect and can never sin. Ergo all those who would be against the Holy Bride are Evil and must be Smote. The logic of this approach is wierd to say the least.
And those expensive ‘perfect’ planned to the nth degree weddings scare me. Seems like the Borg or the Stepford Wives. You Will Be Assimilated! puh. And what is with all this ‘every little girl wants’ shit? When I was a little girl I wanted to stamp on woodlice and shriek like a demented banshee. Then I grew up. I’d rather want what a mature adult woman wants thanks!
Isn’t it just great how weddings bring out the absolute best in everyone?
Shayna your dress looks beeeeeautiful! I can’t even afford David’s, but I found an awesome off the rack dress that I love and can wear again (it’s blue). Btw, it has been my experience that David’s has greatly improved in style, service, and quality over the past few years.
Infectious Lass, I have promised nothing short of full on mockery to any of my friends that use the words “special day,” “big day,” “Cinderella” or “fairytale” in reference to the wedding. So it’s my special day, huh? I guess I only get one! None of the other days in my life have ever been special. Martha Stewart can take that and stick it in her eye.
Zabali, might I suggest pre-drinking before the ceremony? Okay, okay, just kidding. 