I dont even LIKE baseball that much, really! I usually watch the playoffs when I can, and of course I try and watch Yankees vs Red Sox whenever they play. I dont have a “team” if I root for anyone, its always the underdog.
Well I am watching the ALCS now, and I just cant stand how many bad things happen to the Red Sox! I just watched Timlin come in and lose another lead, by no fault of his own, but by a comedy of plays that should have been made, but were not. I just cant stand it!!! How can the Red Sox just always manage to lose?? It makes no damn sense.
So I have now decided, fuck it, there is no possible way the Sox can continue to lose like this. They just cant! This many bad things cannot happen to a team without some sort of balance. The time is comming for them and I want to get in now.
I know I will regret this, I know it. I am an IDIOT…but…God help me…I BELIEVE damit!!!
The first thing you need to understand is that the Sox will not win, ever. This is just the false hope before crushing disappointment. Also, you do understand that being a Red Sox fan is the same as joining a cult, right?
KSO (a member of Red Sox Nation since 1966)
If you had seen the sixth game of the 1986 World Series, you would understand that nothing is impossible when it comes to the Red Sox snatching defeat from the jaws of Victory.
The Yankees now are just toying with them. But if, by some fantastic chance, they do reach the World Series you can rest assured that the immutable Laws of the Universe will ensure they will suffer defeat at the hands of Rogers Clemens of the Astros in the seventh game.
Hey, Really, with a tag line like that, if you could sing and dance, you could write a musical about selling your soul to the devil in order to … [sub]Oh, wait, it’s been done.[/sub]
Tylenol, antacids, and brown liqour are on the table to your left. Should you chose to get mouthy and start talking smack, there’s a platter of crow on the table to your right.
Dob, while you’re out, and if you’re serious about becoming a Sox fan, you might want to pick up one of these, as well. You can use it tonight if Pedro goes into the 8th with a lead.
I am trying my hardest to not get sucked in by the Red Sox. I don’t need that kind of heartache.
Watch them win tonight and really get the fans going. “Down 3-2? Hell, this is a series now! We might even win!” they’ll all think. And then the Yankees will crush them brutally in game 6. Or maybe the Yanks will end it in game 7 with a walk off home run in the bottom of the 11th. Well, whatever happens I know the Red Sox will lose, and I want no part of the senseless act of wanton cruelty (I know that’s redundant) they’re about to inflict on the city of Boston and Red Sox fans across the nation. That is why I choose not to believe.
The New England Patriots win two Super Bowls (the first one after getting more breaks than a pool tournament)…
Shaquille O’Neal, who once commented that he “won on every level except college and professional”, is completely vindicated…
John Elway finally gets the kind of run support and powerful line Joe Montana and Troy Aikman have had for years, and he avenges those past shellackings…
Lennox Lewis, whose chin has often been questioned, finally faces a healthy, rested Mike Tyson in a clean, fair-'n-square fight…and absolutely beats the crap out of him.
Phil freaking Mickelson wins a major…
An old, worn out, burned out, played out Pete Sampras absolutely wipes the foor with everybody in his final US Open, notching an incredible 14th Slam…
…and the Red Sox fail to win the World Series year after year after year.
I can’t explain it. Nobody can explain it. Just one of those bizarre mysteries you gotta accept if you’re going to be a fan. Which I can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to be.
(P.S. Don’t even get me started on the Arizona Diamondbacks…)
