Well, since she lost her sister and she obviously has faith and is using her faith to help her deal with the loss of her sister, I think you should go full bore and try to crush her as fast and hard as you can. No matter what you do, make sure that you don’t bite your tongue and leave her alone. Nope, that would be wrong, it is very important that you take her coping mechanism and totally trash it. She is obviously brain washed and it’s your job to right the wrong. Why let someone have a bit of comfort in this life if it interferes with your views?
/Sacrasm off. How about you do nothing and let this woman alone, she is obviously getting comfort from her belief in God so what is the problem? I just can’t figure out you Atheist. Why is it so important that you “convert” those who believe in God. Obviously there are many Christians that try to “convert” those of you who are Atheist. Something tells me that you would find that unacceptable, yet you “secretly want to challenger her” and are “sure you can convert her”, but that is doing the same exact thing a Christian trying to convert you is doing. One of you is right, either there is a God or there isn’t. Neither of you is going to find out until you die. The best course of action is to do nothing. My prediction is if you try to “challenge” her on the issue you won’t be getting a second date.
For the record, I am Catholic and believe in God. However I have no problem with you if you don’t. The way I figure it is it’s your choice the same as it is mine. One day we will both find out. If I am wrong, well I really don’t see the downside. If an Atheist is wrong, I guess he/she will be in for a shock. But I have never, not once in my life tried to convince anyone that there is a God, but have on several occasions had Atheist try to convince me there isn’t. I can’t for the life of me figure out why it is so important for Atheist to try and push their view on believers. It is almost like you can’t sleep at night knowing that someone thinks differently than you do? Very strange.
Anyways, good luck on your date. Do her a favor and keep it to yourself, let her have the comfort that she obviously needs.
I’m an atheist. I have never, not once in my life tried to convince anyone that there isn’t a “god”, but have on several occasions had Theist try to convince me there is. I can’t for the life of me figure out why it is so important for Theist to try and push their view on non-believers. It is almost like you can’t sleep at night knowing that someone thinks differently than you do. Very strange.
Hey look, I can throw up anecdotes about “the other side” too! That bullshit cuts both ways. There are plenty of atheists (notice, plural, by the way) in this thread who are going “That’s a dick move, don’t do it” to the OP. But don’t let that, and the fact that the OP has since realised it was a dick move, get in the way of your RIGHTEOUS FUREH at omg the hypocrisy of Atheist [sic].
Here’s an idea (and I know you think the smiley makes it a cute joke but given your other posts in the thread I’m not so sure), how about instead of just accepting that you’ll screw up and put your foot in it because you have a problem thinking before you speak, you actually take some time to look up some resources either online or in the real world, about “mindful speaking” or thinking or communicating or whatever the catchphrase of the day is. Something that gives you resources on how to critically examine whatever’s going on in your head before you just blurt out everything in there.
You do understand, though, that the person trying to convert you to believe in God believes that God has charged him/her with the task of doing so? And if they don’t bring you to enlightenment, you’ll suffer and it’ll partly be their fault? They honestly worry that you’ll go to hell if they don’t save you. That’s quite a different motive than one of someone who merely thinks it’s intolerable for others to have what they consider a false viewpoint.
That is complete and utter bollocks. It’s the same motive at it’s heart “You’re wrong, I think I know better than you ergo I’m going to harangue you about it until you see what I am saying is Right and The Truth”. Hell if you want to play that game it’s even more intolerable from that perspective then because the Theist is doing it because they don’t want to feel bad about your going to hell. That’s fucking selfish right there.
It’s intolerable when ANYBODY does it, be they Theist or Atheist. But the point was that for obbn to come flouncing in here making grand sweeping statements about Atheists being unable to tolerate the idea that someone else has a different belief to them, the exact same statement could be made of Theists - nobody has a stranglehold on being a dick about their beliefs, whether they believe in god or not.
Having been the target in the past of misguided evangelists for conversion, I do believe this statement is far too general. The people who tried to convert me were, I believe, genuinely motivated by compassion for my eternal soul. I’m sure there are lots who are just motivated by an “I’m wrong you’re right” attitude, but I respectfully suggest that many aren’t.
Said “compassion” still springs from “I’m right, you’re wrong and if you don’t believe what I believe you’re going to be punished”, just because they aren’t the distributors of said punishment personally doesn’t change the core tenet.
The final thing I’ll say is that the difference between your interpretation and what I believe to be how it worked in this case, is that their “rightness” wasn’t inspired by any kind of intellectual inquiry, the way it might be with an atheist like me (or, presumably you). It was inspired by blind belief in an axiom.
So within the context of an unexplored paradigm, a background of truth that is just - to them - absolute, their fear was truly that my soul would go to hell. They were close family friends, and I think they were worried. It wasn’t a “ha ha gotcha” like the OP proposed before changing his mind, it was a case of “we’re so worried about you. Here’s some literature that may help you come to a decision about things. We’ll pray for you.”
Their motivation - while disturbing and irritating - was compassionate.
Agreed. For some, it’s a kind of triumph, proving how studly their faith is. They rack up a count of converts like a WWII bomber with mission stencils on the nose. They compare dick size. “I’ve repented fifteen sinners! How many have you saved?” Or, of course, “I’ve caused fifteen religious fools to throw away their childish faith; how many have you liberated?” Idiotic, no matter which way it goes.
But…others really are acting out of love.
There are as many kinds of believers – and of non-believers – as there are individuals. Maybe more!
Tell me again who died and left you arbiter of truth?
You want debate, join a club. You’re seeking to challenge someone’s belief, that offers them comfort with a difficult loss. Just so you can be righter, smarter.
Here’s a clue, you’re not her Mama, and she’s already raised up. If you don’t like, or agree with, her beliefs, then do her a favour and don’t date her.
Your burning to desire to ‘challenge’ her beliefs, to turn her, makes you seem quite immature, and kind of douchie. Just my opinion.
Myfoots, just in case you’re still reading this thread, I wouldn’t say you’re not ready to date, but I think you do have to take a hard look at yourself and what you can and can’t accept in a potential partner. It may be that you simply can NOT date a non-atheist, just like many Christians could not successfully date a non-Christian. It’s not even a matter of respecting the other person’s belief or not, but recognizing how important your belief is to you. It sounds to me like your atheism is extremely important to your overall philosophy of life, enough so that you wouldn’t be happy with anyone who didn’t feel the same way. And that’s not a bad thing, it just is.
This. Everyone you date will have some wacky beliefs, the trick is in separating the ones you can’t compromise on from the ones you can let slide. As Dan Savage says, some of those things are the “price of admission”.
Exactly right. There are some things I could and could not accept in a partner, but in my case having exactly the same opinions about religion was not one. My wife and I have different religions. But everyone has to figure that out for himself or herself.
