Saxman, I was referring to this infamous thread. It was an extremely well-written OP that was well received by many Dopers. Unfortunately, the tale kept getting more and more fantastic. It is now generally regarded as fiction. (Not to impugn that your OP is fiction.)
If she was wearing pyjama pants :eek:, then you’re in for a great time :D.
I say, go for it and enjoy the ride.
Just revisited the old Skewbald thread. Heh.
Actually, one night after Angela and I went back to her place after dinner to watch a video we had been trying to finish all weekend, she changed first into…
…wait for it…
…PYJAMA PANTS!
No lie.
I would just like to point out that at this moment the thread right below this one is the spit or swallow thread. :dubious:
OK I’ll leave now
The girl is either confused, inexperienced, or just trying to use you. In the confused and inexperienced cases, waiting around is not necessarily a bad thing, if you can deal with an unfufilling relationship for at least a while and possibly a long time. (Till you or she gets brave enough to break it off.)
If she’s just using you and you don’t mind that (and/or it’s a mutually satisfactory exploitation), that’s cool too. Been there, done that. Not a big deal so long as you remember what you are (and are not) going to get out of it. But go in with eyes wide open, my friend. Remember what you’re getting into. And make sure she knows exactly what your intentions are as well. This may sour things - chicks don’t like it when their little social puppets refuse to play their games. Boo hoo for them. ;]
I think you have a fairly healthy outlook on this, so I’ll stop with the advice there. What follows is a bit of personal experience and feeling, based on being in the emotional place I’m in just now. Short form: Agreed to try things with a girl who said she wasn’t looking for anything serious. Got a mild broken heart out of it and essentially nothing else. So don’t take this as me telling you what you should do. I’m saying this mainly because… well, I like the sound of my own keyclicks, I guess. ;] It also seems like if I air my mistakes in public, I seem to remember and leanr from them better. That all said, then…
If this was me, I think that in the long run you and she are both going to be healthier and saner if you give her some tough love here. If you’re not interested in her seriously, then don’t date her. Really. (Only exception being the mutually satisfactory exploitation clause above - and again: be sure you know what you’re getting into if you do that.) But if you are interested in her more than casually, then tell her so. Tell her that you’re going to give this a real try, and if she isn’t interested then she can find someone else to be her
intellectual whore and cuddleslut. Do not be anyone intellectual whore if that’s not what you really want. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and it doesn’t make my happy. Not one bit.
But what makes you happy may not be what makes me happy. Your call. And there’s my advice and my reaction to the situation. Use it for whatever good it can do for you.
And good luck, regardless.
-Ben
My two cents worth; a good relationship isn’t this hard. And why would you want to waste your time on anything except a good relationship?
Love the link, MikeRochenelle! Indeed, my last few years have seen me graduate from “intellectual whore” to, in fact, “intellectual pimp”. So I hope I’m in no danger of succumbing to old habits.
And I take to heart your and featherlou’s concerns about toiling towards an unfulfilling relationship. I suppose the only fulfillment I’m looking for is distraction – a solace from the shake-up my life will be enduring as I prepare to change careers, and possibly leave my current city.
The more and more I think about this, the more I see that yes, I’m looking for a rebound relationship with minimal effort, as a “good” relationship seems too impossible right now.