There is a tradition in MPSIMS of posting musings on the frustrations of dating. Unlike the movies, the woman (or man) of your dreams will not bump into you on the sidewalk carrying a bag of groceries with a baguette poking out of the top. And you can’t listen for the string section in the soundtrack to know how you’re doing. The real world is messy, inconvenient, and full of surprises. But that doesn’t mean there’s no wisdom of perspective to be gained. I think we can grapple with the issue by comparing it with the one thing with which it has the most in common.
Diving.
In competitions, each dive is rated with a Degree of Difficulty. (There’s a chart here, don’t you just love the web. It seems to be missing the “cannonball from the side of the pool”, but that’s their problem.) The highest I can find is 3.3, so we’ll use that as the maximum. Specifically, I’m looking to assign Degree of Difficulty ratings to various situations of trying to get a date. And let’s try to keep this within the realm of possiiblity, here. For example, if you’re a veteranarian, there’s no chance of getting a date in the same conversation where you tell someone she has to have both her cats put to sleep. It’s like a swan dive into a pool with no water, nothing good can happen. I’ll start things off.
The Cute Checker at the Grocery Store. This would be part of the first round, the compulsories that everyone has to attempt, but one of the trickier ones. You must go from “Paper, or plastic?” to a phone number in 45 seconds. The judges will be looking for confidence, eye contact, and a good toe-point. A seasoned competitor here can take the lead heading into the more difficult final round tomorrow. Degree of difficulty: 2.1
The Very Tall Woman with a European Accent Who Runs the Lego Kiosk at the Local Mall. Very tricky situation; it can branch in many different directions. Right off the bat the conversation can lead to Harry Potter, Star Wars, when-I-was-a-kid, or kids-today-are-lucky. None of which easily transition to how-about-dinner-and-a-movie. And all in the largest open space in the mall so there is not even a hint of privacy. And her English isn’t quite perfect, yet. A real professional will keep a sharp eye on the conditions and react accordingly. Degree of Difficulty: 3.0 (3.2 in the pike position.)
Unfortunately, I hit my head on the board on that last one.