Nietzsche, in an ideal world, I agree, maybe the men would back off, and let the women do their fair share of the asking. But something tells me if you were to go around asking men who are dating more than their share of women to ‘back off a bit’ so that the women would start asking the shy guys out, you wouldn’t have much luck. So, ideal world: you’re right. Practially: no way it’s going to happen. So you’re options are to complain about it, or go with it. That’s the point I was trying to make.
As for which side has it worse…I don’t know. But personally, I’m glad I’m a guy. If I’m really worried about or wondering if a girl wants to go out with me, I just ask. Question answered. How many females sit worrying or wondering for weeks/months about a guy, but don’t ask becasue it’s not considered ‘proper’ for some silly (or more accurately, stupid) reason? That doesn’t sound fun or fair to me.
I guess my argument is this: now that the balance of power has shifted in favor of women, traditional modes of thinking, at least in regards to dating, are giving men, especially shy ones such as myself, a distinct disadvantage.
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Fifty years ago, a shy, employed, marriageable guy would have been taken in hand by the mothers of the local marriageable girls. Now what the moms do seems to be more along the lines of finding fault on any guy you happen to like, specially if you happen to be the only daughter. I call this the “Like water for chocolate” syndrome, Mom is afraid that if you get married nobody will want to care for her in her old age so she does her best to scare away potential suitors
What my mother has to say about my exes is a lot worse than what I have to say. One of them was a complete idiot, but the others were all OK guys with whom things just didn’t completely “gel”; we write and stuff.
My most common reason for rejecting dates: I always seem to get asked out on my last day of vacation, or while I’m about to move to another town/country. Completely dumb, I know.
I’ve rejected two date requests because I found the guys repulsive. Unattractive is not a problem, I’m not exactly Playmate Of The Year material and I’m more attracted to good conversation than to big biceps. But one of these looked at me with this horrible need in his eyes that completely creeped me out and the other was very nasty to his 10-year-old son.
Well, that’s too bad. Oh well, heck at the very least you know that you are “askoutable”. I hope this will give you the encouragement to do more asking out of your own, whether or not you get yeses.
Just remember, if you get nos, it’s NOT about you. Best of luck!!!
Sorry to hear that June…but going out on the date and finding out that you’re likely not that compatable is better than still wondering, right?
And CanvasShoes is right…this should help encourage you to do some asking of your own. And when you do, realize that people do want to go out with you, and when you ask, keep it light, fun, and casual…never ask a woman out becasue you feel like you desperately need to date someone…as Nava said, they can see that in our eyes.
LOL! I bought that for Wife as a joke. Her reaction was that it was a realistic, if unromantic, approach.
Jesus H Christ, dating must suck and I feel sorry for you people who have to do it. What I recall from my dating days, and I was drunk or high most of the time, was that huffing glue beat not dating and I had burned out the brain cells that glue affected long before I reached dating age.
