Too late for edit… I’m not a coffee drinker so I’m wracking my brain for a “safe” first meeting. Usually like you said that means something in public that’s not a big time commitment. She’s not a coffee drinker either… Movie of course is out… Dinner at a low-key place might be OK, if it’s not too fancy? Would a walk in a park be too intimate for a first meeting? Always love advice! 
I’m new to this whole dating thing.
Oh and to somewhat offset my hijacking of the thread - I too would vote for just ignoring. If I write somebody and they don’t answer, I know they’re not interested… a reply implies interest really.
Look, McFly. If she says she wants to take a walk in that park, then
ASK HER TO TAKE A WALK IN THAT PARK!
And you don’t have to wait for her to call you. Grow a pair and pick up the phone.
Ugh… I just got that “Hey, you’re teh HAWTS!” email from OkCupid too. At first it made me laugh out loud, then I thought about it and it just made me roll my eyes in dismay. Dear OKC, your data does not support your conclusions. You are not, in actual fact, being scientifically rigorous, so please stop pretending that you are. There are plenty of reasons why someone might view a photo, and most of them will have nothing to do with how attractive they think the person is. Hell, I’ve viewed photos just because I couldn’t believe someone would post a pic of himself in a ski mask as his profile photo. I couldn’t tell you whether he was attractive or not, because he was, you know, wearing a ski mask.
And my “reward” for having successfully gamed the system, is that they select for me who’s attractive and who isn’t. According to whose standards? Cuz I’m pretty sure they never asked me about mine. Sigh.
That said, I’ll respond to any message that’s intelligent, not assholish, and clearly demonstrates that some thought and effort was involved. I’m cool with meeting up with people who have friend-potential rather than romantic potential, and have initiated with people I wanted to meet as a friend rather than a romantic thing, too. The ones I ignore are those who are assholes from the word go, those who clearly made no particular effort (form letters, one-liners, etc. – I figure if you’re really interested in me, five minutes spent writing a paragraph or two is not too much effort to put into it), or anyone who ignored some key point in my profile (because that indicates they didn’t even find me interesting enough to read my profile, or they feel that what they want is more important than my boundaries – red flag, either way).
I don’t feel a need to educate total strangers on why their approach failed, particularly since most of this should be self-evident, so I just ignore them. I make very rare exceptions to this, if he seemed genuine in his first paragraph, and went off the rails in the second. Typically they’ll politely ask about a common interest first, and then follow up with a question asking what I like to do in bed. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being foolish giving them the benefit of the doubt (what adult doesn’t know this?), but I’ll generally tell them that the reason their approach fails is because I don’t talk about my sex life with total strangers, and I suspect a lot of women feel this way.
Thank you for the brick to the skull Green Bean. I just texted her an invitation to a walk in the park, or a casual dinner if that didn’t sound appealing. We’ll see what happens…
You’re welcome. Let us know what happens.
According people on the forums, you get the “you’re hot!” message if you use the quiver feature more than normal (which is not at all).
Well. I didn’t get a YOU ARE HOT message from OKCupid. I’ll try not to take it as a YOU ARE UGLY message, and instead assume OKCupid is just mad at me because, I refused to pay for the premium version of the site. Why be so greedy, OKC? You don’t have to be hurtful over the whole thing. That is a lot like school on a saturday. BORING!
Anyway. Now, that I have had a chance to lick my wounds I can talk about the OP’s question. I try to write back anyone who writes me. Because, it kind of stinks when you take the time to write a note that references things in someone’s profile and isn’t a cut and paste and you never hear anything back. Especially, when you consider your note especially witty and inviting. But, you get used to that. (Really. What is more bothersome is when they write you first. You reply. And, then never ever hear anything back. Come on!) Anyway, I like to reply. But, i can really understand why women don’t. First, women get about 10 times more messages on made up average than I do. Second, the chance of a guy sending a pissed off message back, or taking ANY response as reason to harass is far greater than it is for a woman to do it in my experience. I mean, I have never had a woman write back ticked off when I said I wasn’t interested. But, I have heard plenty of stories from friends about guys who write back all sorts of pissed off.
I think writing/calling back after a first date is a little more mandatory. Yet, 75% of the time that is how I find out someone isn’t interested. Now, that’s just weird. But, oh well. That might be OKCupid’s fault.
Well, I don’t think that’s it, since I’ve used the Quiver thing exactly never.
pricciar, you can game the system by changing your photos often. That’s how I do it (and why no one should take this as a legitimate poll of hotness – people look because the photos are new and they are bored).
And I’ve used it dozens of times, yet it apparently still thinks I’m ugly.
So is this “You’re Hot” email thing a new feature? I sort of assumed it was, although I suppose it could be that I’ve only recently achieved hotness in the eyes of Staff Robot.
Uh, yeah, I got that message too. Sure. I mean, of course I did, right?
sigh I’ll go check my inbox again.
Oh. Well I’m just ugly then. 
I spent fifteen minutes reading through some whore’s giant profile and typing a lengthy message to her and her response was “I used CTRL+F and didn’t find the safe word that would prove you read my profile. Blocked. Dumbass.”
So yeah. I’d rather she had ignored me. 
Safe word? Tha hell?
By the way, in my post I didn’t mean to call her a whore. I just copy/pasted the message I’d sent to someone earlier to vent.
I assume their was something in her profile like “if you message me, put the word ‘neeecfern’ in the message so I’ll know you’ve read my profile.”
I think I’ve run across something like that once or twice.
Ah, so you only meant to call her a whore once.
Glad you understand.
This explains my success rate on Cupid. I guess their filter is set for Wildebeest only in my case. 
Well, to those who are curious she called me within five minutes of me “asking her out.” Nothing is set yet, she says she has to check her work schedule to see when she’s available, but all indications are we’ll be meeting some time this week. Talked on the phone for over two hours again last night…
Good for you, Macnbaish. If advice from a fifty-four year old woman is of any value, I’d say to ignore anything AClockworkMelon says, as he seems in dating threads to alternate between playing power games, acting as if he only wants to get laid, making non-sequitur jokes, and sincerely wanting to find a date/relationship. No offense to you, Melon, but from the stuff you’ve said, none of which I’m ever certain is serious, you demonstrate attitudes that I personally would find repugnant in an on-line dating situation. This may be a product of the >thirty years age difference between us, so take it for what it’s worth. Customs change, and Melon as he appears on the Dope may be exactly what young women are looking for these days. I’m inclined to doubt it, but I have no friends in their twenties or thirties to guide me.