Well, I’m not exactly in the date-able arena either…but if I was:
No Auburn fans. (College ball means alot. Shaddup.)
No cat haters.
No non-tippers. (Was married to one of these…didn’t know it until after we got married. The cheapskate.)
No guys that condescend. I get enough of that crap without dating.
No guys that are all about wanting to “change my evil ways”. What the hell do you think got you interested in th first place, huh?
No deadbeats. By this I mean, have a job. And if not employed, at least be in school or doing something besides waiting on mommy to hand you your gas money.
No Seven-Year-Itch guys. Please. I’m not in the mood to walk you through whatever mid-life crisis you think you’re in. I can barely get through my own. Join a newsgroup.
I think that about covers it. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about it, since my dating days are waaaay over with and I’m too lazy to even think about clandestine romance.
Oh yeah…no married-but-hating-it’s. It sucks to be you, and I’m not in the mood to hear all the boring particulars. I know you’re not happy, but who is? Get over it. Join a newsgroup.
In dating a woman:
No one who gets angry easily
No one who weights less than 115 pounds (to bony!)
No one who doesn’t appreciate Kung Fu and giant robots
In a computer:
Non-ergonomic keyboard
cannot me modified (no Macs or Compaqs need apply)
doesn’t have mine sweeper
Man, first you can’t make racist remarks, then you can’t make sexist remarks, then you have to use phrases like “vertically challenged” and “differently abled”, and now I can’t even bash evil?
I will never again work for a commercial enterprise, except maybe some make-ends-meet semi-retirement gig like cab driver or bus driver in another 20 years.
I will not date a woman:
with small children, because she wouldn’t have time for it.
who wants me to make all her decisions.
who is just plain dumb.
who slaps people (I did once, neve again).
who refuses to go out with me.
under 30, unless she insists. That has never happened.
not being able to give love
Other than that, I can’t really think of anything that’s impossible.
I have plenty of preferences, but I guess any woman I’m attracted to is going to have a couple of attributes that I don’t like but which I’ll need to learn to accept. That’s what makes it love.
Oh, I forgot to mention that, since Mrs. Dave-Guy has never learned to drive a standard transmission, any car that has a clutch, no matter how wonderful it is, will not find its way into our driveway. Three pedals is a definite deal-breaker.
-Smokes
-Does drugs (I’m not talking about one-time experimentation, I’m talking about regularly)
-Is more than 4 years older than me (I’m fifteen, so that would make him 19 or younger)
–Is younger than me
Is rude
-Is mean to people
-Treats me like shit
~Monica
I would never do a physical activity that required me to wear spandex.
I would never pay more than $50 for a bag made out of polyester (coughPradacough)
I would never hang out with a cheapskate (which, I might add, is different from being frugal - which I like to think I am in non clothing-related situations)
I would never get a makeover from someone who looked like a drag queen.
Must have A/C, tinted windows and *this is key * decent cup holders that don’t spill the travel mug when turning a corner.
CD player is nice too.
**House deal breakers **
Roof, basement, plumbing must be in excellent condition. Windows must be within five years. Location, location, location.
Paved roads are a must ( I live on dirt roads.) Everything after that is negotiable.
