She sounds perfect!
Ignore #460, missed edit window.
It is entirely possible to meet a mate anywhere if you regard her as a person rather than a pretty target. Ask enough questions to determine if you have anything to offer her, and if she has something to offer you, too. Seems like a lot of guys here believe they deserve a date simply because they worked up the nerve to approach. Or they deserve a date because they wasted x amount of time hanging around or flattering her. Or because they’ve pronounced her boyfriend a jerk. It doesn’t work that way. What she wants matters just as much, and any time, energy, or nerve expended on the pursuit of any person is a gamble that in no way entitles the gambler to a date.
Really? I did not see those posts.
I haven’t seen anything resembling this attitude. What I’ve seen is that many guys think it’s reasonable to work up the nerve to approach and take their chances, even with little information beyond “she’s purty and seems friendly”, and you think that’s wrong and creepy and equate it with “believing they deserve a date” or some sort of entitlement.
Even the total douche upthread who suggested he could bed most married women knows he’s not owed a date just because he asked, he’s just overconfident in his ability to convince a woman to give it to him.
Some days I wonder if it’s even acceptable any more to be a heterosexual male and display any kind of physical attraction to a woman, no matter how gentle and courteous. Even asking for a date seems to be off-limits.
SouthernGuy, we can either speak in generalizations or discuss your example, it’s hard to keep up if you keep adding things to your story. In your example, sounds like you were dealing with a person who wasn’t stable or trustworthy, so I’m puzzled as to why you felt love for her. You certainly weren’t “in love” as that takes two. Good on you for sticking to your principles, but why even waste time or energy dwelling on that situation? If she wanted you, she’d have tried something more than a grab. If you’d wanted her, you could have thrown the friendship under abuse and let her know. I suspect you knew she didn’t really feel t hat way about you, and that’s why you didn’t act. But you weren’t in a friend zone. You were a friend of someone who doesn’t sound very mature or nice.
My example isn’t technical. Have you ever attracted the interest of a gay man you didn’t want to date? Was it your fault? Did you friend zone him, or was dating him simply not an option? It’s the same.
It surely isn’t to those with the feminist mentality.
“Feminist mentality”? Really? :rolleyes:
There really is a communication gap here. MOL, Broomstick, even sven, me, and maybe a couple others have said several times that we don’t really mind being asked out, so long as the guy either backs off and accepts a friends only relationship or gets lost.
It’s the guys claiming they have decided that a woman is “perfect for me” with no consideration of her situation at all. He objectified her, then complained that she hurt his feelings (by having her own life, agenda, and plan that didn’t include him). Guys here complaining they shouldn’t have to find out if a woman is in a relationship until they’re on the first date. Guys here bringing the friend zone bullshit, someone claiming that most people have all the friends they need therefore they have a right to dismiss anyone who turns them down for a date… yeah, there’s a communication gap all right.
You may think my experience doesn’t apply to your situation, but I’ve watched my friends and family members have terrific success with dating, marriage, and getting laid just by treating men and women equally, and allowing others enough space and time to determine mutual attraction before going all in. Women aren’t mysterious creatures, and people waste a lot of time putting them on a pedestal or bitching that you can’t make them do what you want.
As to her promiscuousness, it didn’t start out that way, but got to that point after a time. So I didn’t see her as being immature or mean. It started out as a simple friendship then progressed into more as it “seemed” that she wanted more than that as I understood it. I’m not going to put up all the details here.
For your example, no. I have never been in that specific situation as I live in Louisiana and most homosexuals regretably stay “in the closet” about their sexuality because the general rule of thumb around here is that they are frowned upon. Louisiana is heavily Catholic, but the current generation seems to be pulling away from that belief system. Nor have I been in said situation with a female as I’m always straight forward about what I want and if that isn’t mutual then we both move on.
Also: Friend zone - Wikipedia
Would you rather I say “women with a un-healthy hateful disposition to all men in general except for the ones they personally know to be decent”?
Gonna keep throwing out inflammatory terms that you think explain your trouble with relationships? You could (I know, this is crazy) take responsibility for your own feelings and behavior.
Yeah, those women who dare have the radical notion that women are people. Duh.
Frankly, I am not seeing why this guy couldn’t get a date with those attitudes. Women LOVE being told we aren’t equal (or are just big ol’ slutty teases, etc). I mean seriously, he seems like a real catch:
I do. I’m a very strong advocate of taking responsibility for my own actions. I was throwing out a absurd term(Which I knew was absurd as I was typing it) to vent what I think is, part of the time, overkill by the feminist movement even though I believe they serve a very serious and generally positive purpose.
If that’s what you mean, then, yes, that’s what you should say. Because this description has nothing to do with feminism.
I promise you that my voting rights/ contraceptive rights/ equal pay rights/ etc have nothing to do with my desire not to have sex with you. Your clear misogyny though? Yeah, that is a deal breaker. Sorry, bro.
IDK, his last post seems to say he’s blaming “overkill by the feminist movement” for his inability to make a woman want to have sex with him. Doesn’t that feminazi know? She should just hop right on his dick because darnit, he likes her and whether she likes him back is totally irrelevant. It’s the least she could do, I mean now that she vote and all.
And nobody here has said they expect a date just because they got up the courage to ask someone out.
Please stop putting words in my mouth/typings or whatever..
I do not hate women. I never have and those rights you just put were part of the “very serious and generally positive purpose”. Which I strongly support because anything otherwise would be both illogical and un-ethical. Also, no thanks on the sex part. Can’t we just be friends?
I put that there just for you. 