Not so much suggestions as a litany of lost causes:[ul][]Exit by the rear. Yeh right, I wish. I think years ago they tried to get people to do this and just gave up after a while.[]Moving to the rear. Nobody standing will ever move past the back door, because nobody wants to be trapped in the cul-de-sac at the rear of the busPeople who can’t or won’t pay their fare promptly. This has several subcategories. The people who get on the bus and then start digging in their pockets or purse for $2.00 in loose change. The people hoping that someone can give them change for a five, ten or even twenty. And lastly and most hated, the grifters who know they don’t have the fare but try a number of time-tested scams: putting insuffcient fare in the box and then feigning ignorance of the peak-hour surcharge. Trying to bluff their way on with expired transfers. Or just knowing that if they stand there bullshitting long enough the driver might let them on just to get the line moving.[/ul]
Third, or fourth, or fifth, whatever, the train door issues. When the train pulls up there is NO NEED to rush the door like it’s a bread line! Believe it or not, the people in the train need to get off before you will be able to get on, so what you’re doing is actually counterproductive. (In Barcelona, they have little notices above the door saying Deixeu sortir, “let people off.”)
The people who blissfully remain standing in front of the door inside the train at station stops, on the other hand, are just doing it out of sheer assholism. SCUSEZ fucking MOI.
My 2cents:
I understand when i’m sitting, you may have to press against my shoulder when some asshole (behind you) is trying to get through by slamming against as many people on the way.
For the love of Pete, press your thigh against me, not your crotch. Most men try to press against my seat instead, you know, cause else it’s fucking creepy if you’re there longer than 5 seconds. (and you get the elbow in your thigh, if not clear enough, you get it right where it hurts.)*
If you’re female, i don’t mind it as much, but just because you are one, doesn’t mean you can just stay there.
- i know it sounds sexist of me, but i live by what i experienced. I had too many pervs press and stay, or rub, their crotch on my shoulder. Yes, i did look up and i saw them watch me with a smile. They get the elbow.
Ahh, the Frotter’s Paradise that is a packed commuter train!
- and we got ourselves a drunken Irishman from way back! Twisty, how the heck are you doing?
Had to look up your quote - I thought it was Shakespeare, turned out to be Bill Hicks - talk about a mental gearchange.
Good seeing you on the boards, though.
Please don’t sing along with the gospel music the driver likes when you can’t carry a tune!
This is not a great son, not only can i not understand the mumbled lyrics, the JEEEEESUUUUSSS JEEEEESSUUUUUUSS every 1.4 seconds is doing what, exactly, surely the son of God has a better ear for music than THAT.
Yes I know about the hurricanes, I’m aware of what’s predicted, thanks for reminding me, because i am incapable of remembering how long hurricane season is despite living in Florida for 5 years.
No I don’t want to date you. I don’t want your number. I don’t want you to teach me to espeakie espanish. I don’t want anything from you EXCEPT for you to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
Duuuuuude. Gospel again and I forgot my headphones. Such a bummer.
Yes, that water fallling from the sky is rain, no, it’s not a hurricane.
No I don’t need help carrying my bags home. I have two bags. No I won’t give you my name, and I don’t want you following me home like a lost puppydog. And what I bought is none of your concern.
I am waiting at the bus stop, for the bus, it is SKY BLUE, i DON"T want a ride from you. I don’t care if you think i’m pretty. I’m not going anywhere with you.
Dear fellow passenger.
If you must eat your breakfast on the train, please do so quietly. It’s really nasty to have to listen to your slurping, lip-smacking, and grunting.
Yes, we know that you were doing it deliberately.
Yes, you are a jerk.
Yeah, it’s hard to believe that’s the same God that inspired Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”. The Big Guy has a strange sense of humor.
Today I got 10 minutes of video of the bus driver talking on his cell phone - not even a wireless earpiece, but holding the phone with one hand and driving the GIANT BUS IN THE RAIN with the other.
Hmmm. What to do with this information…?
Make copies. Call up each of the local news stations, and offer to email it to them. Likewise send copies to all the newspapers in town.
If you leave it to the bus company alone, nothing will happen.
No guarantee that the news media will think it’s important during an election cycle, though. 
…and now that school is back in session, a note for the future leaders of our nation:
TAKE YOUR FUCKING BACKPACK OFF. The folks sitting down do not want to get a faceful of textbooks each time you turn around to make some smart-ass comment to your pimple-faced friend.
TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN. Yes, that new Flo Rida track IS totally awesome (or whatever word you kids today are using to describe something good), but you know what’s even more awesome? If I didn’t have to listen to it along with you.
STEP AWAY FROM THE DOORS. It’s wonderful that you feel the need to travel in a pack with your 15 best friends and your mondo-huge backpacks. But it would be really nice if the rest of us could get on and off the subway too.
kthanx.
And a special little shout-out to the young lady on the bus whose cell-phone would frequently scream out (and I do mean scream loudly): “You’ve got fucking mail!” :mad: