Dear psycho ex...

Okay, I can deal with the fact that you treated me like shit, and I just took it. I can deal with the fact that you dumped me via a dear John letter. I can even forgive you for cheating on me with that little fucker, but if you ever, EVER come near my fucking girlfriend again, I swear to god that SUV is going to hell in a handbasket.
I don’t care if you were actually trying to run her down, or just scare the shit out of her, I just want you to get the fuck out of my life. You dumped me, and I don’t care if you think she’s “good enough” for me you two-timing psychopathic little fucking trollet. BUD THE FUCK OUT. Perhaps you didn’t notice the last few times you came in contact, but I’m the only thing keeping her from beating you without mercy, and I’m not even sure why.
So, to recap

  1. Leave me alone
  2. Leave my girlfriend alone
  3. Hi Opal

Simple fucking instructions, and though I know you’re not too bright, I still think you can manage to follow them if you try really hard.

I don’t think Opal wants to deal with her any more than your girlfriend does.

Shouldn’t she think she’s not good enough?


You could always have her killed. I know a guy who will do it for free. The problem is that it costs $20,000 for him to not dump the body in your trunk. :smiley:

I have a psych-ex, too. Maybe I need your number and I’ll do a ‘GoodBye Earl’ kind of thing!

Brav-fucking-o! Finally, someone uses the “Hi Opal” schtick properly. Doesn’t go in the three slot every time - just when you don’t have three actual items.

As for psycho exes, they aren’t good.

Does this mean I have to kick her ass?

Yeah, I’m afraid it does.

Has your ex ever been on Jerry Springer?

“When Psycho Hose beasts attack!”

I hope you don’t own a bunny.

Do what I did with a psycho-ex.

Restraining order.

The “new” bf and I both took one out on the psycho who would follow us around, leave nasty messages, etc. The last straw was when he verbally accosted us at a restaurant.

(scary to know, the psycho is now a cop. Not here, thank diety)