These used to be close I swear!
**My next-door neighbours cat is not long for this world
Well the first bottle of Drano didn’t work. Now what?
**
Try a wood chipper?
**Old folks using McDonald’s as an old folks’ home. What would you do?
Firing squads **
“I said no loitering, Grandpa! Ready…aim…fire!”
There’s Rioting in Our Streets, Part 3
We Have Pigeon Eggs
Every little helps. To the barricades, comrade, and throw them!
Florida Movie Theater Shooting Leaves One Dead In Altercation Over Texting
Why do people keep their wallet in their back-pocket?
'Cause they keep their guns in their front pockets!
**Please Swallow Their BS, They’re FAMILY…
I’ve been coughing up phlegm for 6 years. How to make it stop?
**
Move away from your family.
** Is anyone here a practitioner of rootwork, Hoodoo, Chaos, or another strong magical tradition?
What the bloody hell just happened with my nose? TMI**
You have offended Turbinatro, the God of Sinonasal Secretions, and must sacrifice your first born to appease him. Pay the receptionist on your way out. Turbinatro demands cash.
Should we move to South Carolina?
If you had to leave your country, where would you move to?
Well it wouldn’t be South Carolina.
** If Time Travel is possible
Is there a limit for the speed of internet?
**
Nope – if Time Travel is possible, Google can give you results of your search before you even type it in!
Before you even think of it!
** Good jokes you’ve heard recently
Have you ever eaten something made by someone while you were on bad terms with them?**
“Of course I thoroughly cleaned and cooked the haggis, dear.” ♫
Why are the Iraqi car bombing casualties so low?
If Time Travel is possible
You’d think they’d keep going back until they got it right.
** Help me get started with this new crockpot
Aging of Elves**
No, that’s best done in a food dryer.
** Annoying police by remaining silent
NYC Police Cops Bloody 84 Year-Old Asian Man for Jaywalking **
It wasn’t so much that he jaywalked, it’s that he did it so quietly.
**Have you ever eaten something made by someone while you were on bad terms with them?
I am somewhat afraid
**
I’m sure they wouldn’t really try to poison you…
** What’s the oldest internet meme you can remember seeing/hearing?
I fell really hard on my head today **
There was a Usenet newsgroup devoted to this back in the late '80s, but it was really hard to understand the posts.
What Makes Insurance Companies Balk?
Legality of dropping things into a volcano
Your insurance company is not going to let you drop anything into a volcano even if it is legal.
** One of my cats died tonight.
My next-door neighbours cat is not long for this world
So, how hot is it in Australia? **
Cat-killing hot.
**What does your partner call you in bed?
Good jokes you’ve heard recently **
Good, but sometimes *mean *jokes…
** What- OTHER THAN guns- do you think people can’t be trusted with?
Prostitution? **
Never trust a whore.
** A question for those who believe that conception=personhood
What to do about bugs in my grains?**
A freshly-laid egg is already a bug-person, so hands off.
Hmmm…what’s going on in this neighborhood?
One of my cats died tonight.
My next-door neighbours cat is not long for this world