Days of Ur Lives= the world’s first known soap opera, it dealt with a series of dysfunctional families with lots of teen heart throbs and “super couples” in a Mesopotamian city state.
A Christmas Tory= all little Ralphie wants for Christmas is a Red Ryder musket, but his father is branded a loyalist and must flee for his life when the British evacuate Boston.
Never thought of albums. Great idea! What can I think of…
The Hite Album: Shere Hite’s research into human sexuality, set to Beatles music.
Adman across the Water: British performer Elton John’s tribute to Madison Avenue.
Ear of the Cat: Al Stewart’s album specifically recorded at a frequency that only our feline friends can hear.
Combat Roc: Concept album by the Clash, about fighting a mythical beast.
Stairway to Heave – The bathroom’s upstairs, buddy.
1/2: Famous Italian film director gets less than 6% through his new film.
Star Trek: Fist Contact - Will kung fu defeat the Borg?
The Lion, the Itch and the Wardrobe - Aslan’s unfortunate skin condition
Price Caspian - How much am I bid for this hunky young Telmarine?
The Voyage of the Dawn Reader - Every day Narnia’s floating library brings literacy to a new island
The Méchant of Venice - This Renaissance Italy alternative rock band will tear your heart out
"Tits" Andronicus - Renting topless maids for Roman orgies made him a pulcher denarius!
Far from the Madding Crow - Bathsheba Everdene puts some miles between her and that fucking bird
Robin On Crusoe - Sidekick/castaway slashfic
Diary of a Wipy Kid - a picked on elementary schooler passes the time by cleaning windows.
The Te Commandments - Religious epic with Charlton Heston portraying Mencius.
** 2 1/2 Me**–Sheen’s new sitcom, about a guy with multiple personalities
The Tim Machine — A machine that produces more Tims… in the year 801,702 AD.
The Gifters - The story of three ruthless, desperate people who will stop at nothing to give away all of their legitimately-earned money.
Dane Macabre - A retrospective of works by Jonas Wilmann.
In the Loo - a satirical romp through the restrooms of 10 Downing Street and the U.S. State Department.
Lashdance features an aspiring dancer who’s into S&M. Remove another letter and you have Ashdance, wherein she’s a pyromaniac. Take out one more and you get Sh-dance, about a dancer who’s also a librarian.
Wa the Dog - a new martial arts animal hero in the tradition of Kung Fu Panda, who starts a fake war to boost the President’s popularity
Beach Blanket Bing - The first beach party musical in years; but it’s just another desperate attempt to cash in by an ex-Friends ex-star
Footlose - dance your feet off!
ET Detective - a wacky search for alien life forms
SuperMa - you’ll believe a woman can fly … through her busy day!
On The Waterfont - the gritty truth behind 1940s baptismal rituals
Frot/Nixon - the truth behind this President’s previously unsuspected sexual proclivities
Arsenic and Old Lac - handy hints on ridding trees of these pesky bugs
Ridge over the River Kwai - this one they can’t just blow up!
The Diary of Anne, Rank - she didn’t get to shower very often
The Lawn-ower Man - a simple-minded gardener decides to hire grass rather than buy it
Ron - The sci-fi classic of motorcycle races taking place inside the very small brain of a Doper’s brother-in-law
Brilliant, all! Especially the inventive use of the emoticon in the last one! It’ll never be the same to me again …
Foreign Co-Respondent: Couple hire an Italian gigolo to help get a divorce.
The 3 Steps: A Canadian is pursued by a very small spy ring.
The Bird: Terrorizes a seaside community until some kid pegs it with a .22.
Noth by Northwest: “Big” takes the train ride of his life.
The Man Ho Knew Too Much: Gripping sequel to Foreign Co-Respondent.
Kin Kong - A film director discovers he is related to a giant ape, so he invites him back to the city. Hijinks ensue.
Godfinger - Just prior to the flood, God makes his feelings towards his creation clearly known.
Harry and the Henderson - A young boy seeks revenge on the sasquatch that ate his family.
Pollo 13 - a bunch of Spanish chickens meet misfortune on a flight to the moon.
Chintown - A city populated by Jay Lenos.
The Fat and the Furious - Marlon Brando gets pissed.
Suerman - Man of steel becomes a personal injury attorney.
Shat- 70’s action film about a decective with irritable bowel syndrome.
What Reams May Come - story of a print shop running low on supplies.
Planet of the Aps - phone technology takes over and destroys the world.
Arks and Recreation - weekly sitcom about Noah’s leisure time on the water.
K9: The Widowmaker - A Russian submarine captain’s dog turns on the crew while on its maiden voyage.
Practical Magi - Three Wise Women bring Mary things her baby REALLY needs…
** Dead One **–Johnny becomes a zombie who can see the future. It mostly includes visions of his eating people.
Miser–Annie Wilkes as a rich bitch, having gained the rights to the Misery novels before killing Paul Sheldon.
Pellbound: Gregory Peck gets a federal grant to go to college.
Aboteur: Robert Cummings does crunches for his country.
Arnie: Tippi Hedren considers a life as a male Austrian.
The Trouble with Arry: Forsythe, MacLaine, and a faulty 16mm camera.
Stag Fright: Richard Todd confronts a 14-point buck.