True, sort of. A Danish, or a Swede… 
TNDTP is a victim of alien abduction
False – I assist in them.
The next Doper to post talks like a pirate when nobody is around.
True, and I’m so embarrassed. I talk to the dogs like that, “Avasts ye scurvy curs…out into the yard with ye!”
The next poster works from home.
False, but I’d like to.
The next poster doesn’t own a bathroom scale.
False. THe next poster is going grey.
Make that going going gone! 
TNP is going to a Hallowe’en party sometime this week.
True, what little of it I have left.
TNDTP is a Turtle. State the secret password…
True, because I know the password is “password.” Or “aardvark,” one or the othr.
The next poster has eaten pizza at least four times so far this month.
False – only thrice so far, but a fourth is forthcoming.
The next poster has never ridden an Amtrak train.
True and don’t wanna.
TNP is drinking water while surfing the dope.
True. I always have water by the computer.
The next poster has 3 or more phones within arms reach.
False and eek,
TNP has more than one monitor on their PC or at least their desk.
False – only one monitor.
The next poster has been to at least half of the states in the USA.
True. I had to count but true it is.
TNP has never been outside his/her home country.
False. Lived outside it for two years.
The next poster is bilingual or multilingual.
False.
TNP has ceramic tile on their kitchen floor.
False but I want it. I think.
TNP does not have any carpet in his/her home.
False - it’s mostly carpeted.
TNP is diligent about cleaning the lint trap on the dryer.
True – that “Lint screen must be cleaned before each load” message on the dryers in my college dorm has stayed with me since I matriculated.
The next poster is not planning to leave his/her state /province/geographical counterpart of residence for Christmas this year.
False, I’ll be going from LA to Ohio for christmas.
The next poster has already posted in this thread at least once.