Just spent the weekend with a wonderful friend of mine. Hung out with her family who I love (and who adores me). Went to a kick-ass concert.
Didn’t do a damn thing about it. We’ve known each other for almost two years. We go out on a lot of “is this a date or not a date?” outings. We have never discussed our feelings. Both of us have been single the whole time. There have been a couple near-misses, but nothing occurred.
However, here’s the catch. This happened to me 3 1/2 years ago. I ended up having The Conversation[sup]TM[/sup], and got burned. Promised myself I’d never initiate The Conversation[sup]TM[/sup] ever again. I was really hoping she would this weekend.
She didn’t.
And so I discovered something new (always learning new things, I am!): Not having The Conversation[sup]TM[/sup] hurts just as much.
So I came up with a perfect little solution yesterday. I told her I couldn’t initiate The Conversation[sup]TM[/sup] and I simply asked her out on a date. I told her I’d consider the last 2 years as our first date (no strings attached - first dates are harmless like that), and this would be a second date. No grandiose expectations, no heart-rendering confessions. Just dinner.
Thank you for starting a thread about something that I have been thinking about but thought it might be too “bloggish”.
I was in a wedding last weekend. Actually, I was the best man. Actually, let me back up.
May 31st was a shower for the couple hosted by the maid of honor. She was a woman who is lifelong friends with all my, um friends. She even dated my one of my lifelong amigos for a month. I couldn’t have picked her out of a lineup. I’m rambling. :coughs:
Anywho, I saw her again at the shower. Wow. I couldn’t quit looking at her. After the shower we went to a local bar and I made some very awkward advances that were well received. I thought about her a great deal between the shower and the wedding. I thought she was great but I had promised myself I was going to quit dating and she’s 3 hours away. Or so I thought.
After the wedding last Saturday we all went out again. After having about 425 beers I told her how I felt about her. I then went on to try to kiss her, a bit forcefully perhaps.
I called her yesterday (Sunday) to apologize. She insisted that I had nothing to apologize for and that she couldn’t quit thinking about the things I told her in the bar :rolleyes: and was going to track my number down.
Oh, the best part. She’s moving to Charlotte, a less than 1.5 hour drive
I can’t quit thinking about her either. I’m going to enjoy it before the whole mess goes down in a ball of fire like the others:(
I have used entirely too many smilies in this post and will now spank myself.
Good luck to all you chaps. Bruce_Daddy’s situation sounds rather promising, but shouldn’t “I’m going to enjoy it before the whole mess goes down in a ball of fire like the others” read " I’m going to enjoy it before the whole mess goes down in a ball of fire like a mad crazy chip pan fire of love" ?
Hush, you! That aspect will not be entertained. But, yes, technically it is. But it lacks the horrible elements of confrontation, putting her on the spot by asking her what her feelings are, ulcers, and that horrendous post-Conversation conversation.
Munch, way to go! Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s very cool to take a chance like this. I’ve done similar things a few times, always to meet with polite rejection. Except for the last time, when I suggested that perhaps Mrs. Giraffe ought to break up with her long-distance boyfriend and date me instead. Six amazing years later, she’s Mrs. Giraffe and I’m a lucky, happy man.
Good for you. I hope it works out. I’m kind of there too. I have been in and out of the same situqtion for years. Bf and I love each other, we’ve both acknowledged that but circumstances and lots of long distances have made it really hard to have a real relationship. He recently made arrangements to move to my state. Not exactly the same town but within an hour away. We are trying to make a go of it - it’s still scary after nearly 6 years. Mostly because the longer it goes on the more I care for him and the more we have to risk if it goes wrong.
My last romantic risk of the kind you’re describing was about six years ago. It was a very similar situation, we were good friends and I was absolutely in love with her. So I decided that it would be better for me in the long run if I made my feelings known and let fate take its course. I did it the old fashioned way, I wrote a long passionate letter, then stood at the mailbox working up the courage to drop it in. It felt good to finally do it. I felt like new, more mature chapter of my life was beginning.
Yeah, that’d be nice, wouldn’t it? As of yet, I’ve heard nothing. Not good. But, you gotta give her time. If I don’t hear back by lunch, I’ll know something is up. Neither of us has e-mail at home, so there’s a 16 hour excuse.
Shoulda seen it coming after waiting so long for a reply. But, she’s just not interested - and that’s fine with me. My request was about as casual as I could make it, and all I can hope is that I didn’t overly freak her out.
I’m sorry to hear of your disappointment, Munch. I guess at least you know now and don’t have to worry about it…which probably doesn’t make you feel a bit better about it. Sometimes the worrying is the fun part.
