LAND is the true SOURCE
of ALL wealth. YEAH, you heard ME
The BALD man drives LIMOS
{\¶/}
When I look backwards
At decisions I have made
Which head is in charge?
Raincoat gentleman
Zipper down – looks like a dick
Only it’s smaller
Uke
[list]
“Shrinkage” Mandalay
was my nickname in high school
Guess what? I’m single.
When shaving the pubes
Said a very recent thread
Go for the scrotum
The yeast infection
Has got my wife by the balls
A Mixed metaphor?
As thick as my fist
As long as my held out arm
All I do is dream
A covered wagon
Or a pink convertible
It doesn’t matter
Heavy metal star
Male prima ballerina
It looks like you stuff
Some men always boast
But we all know the real truth
Talkers have no meat
Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised.
A full ten in length
Is that what you tell women?
Have you gone metric?
the uncut foreskin
collects far too much smegma
please hold the mayo
proudly taking aim
male porn star blinds the starlet
close your eyes next time
just got a blow job
stomach is very sticky
she does not swallow
Back off, man. I’m a scientist.
Stupid President
You can track you enemies
But don’t keep the tapes
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
And let’s not forget
All our uncircumsized friends
Slug in turtleneck
Yer pal,
Satan
O trouser serpent
Comes and goes from denim den;
Beware the zipper
SniffSniff*, Eww pee-u!
What makes you so damn stinky?
Where is the wash cloth?
“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
(__)
\/-------\ | |-----| |
…c.c…c.c…
Reddened and ashamed
I stand in the locker room
filled with laughter
Yeah, it’s small
but so is yours
now get me a cheeseburger
Ok, that one wasn’t even a real Haiku.
Mine’s only six inches
but most women like it that thick
I wonder if anybody besides Ike and Flora will get this one.
Manic-Depressive
Your Montauk mansion burned down
You’re losing your hair
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
Here I lay with you
You have made the conquest
Hand me the tweezers
Don’t be embarrassed
It happens to all men
Where is my dildo?
Do me baby, NOW!
I can’t wait to feel you there
Say what? You are in?
>^,^<
KITTEN
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.
The moment is now!
Be turgid, Mister Happy!
Flaccid? Look it up.
My dick’s a monster;
When it stiffens for your love
the heavens will part.
Armed, dangerous…
and off my medication.
Sorry, I better write a few nice haiku’s so you don’t get the wrong impression.
Lay me gently down
Our glistening bodies mesh
As you enter me.
Candlelight aglow
Fantasies come alive
A faint scent of musk
Soft, gentle kisses
Descend in satin sheets
Waking parts below
>^,^<
KITTEN
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.
I’m on a roll, so forgive me.
So, you’re not Jewish?
What’s that you’re pulling out?
Is that a turtle?
>^,^<
KITTEN
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.
I really don’t know
How my one eyed trouser snake
Made it on the net
())///////////D
Why does she ask him
If it gets bigger than that
Or if it can dance
())///////////D
When back in grade four
He was the largest by far
But twenty years old