I really don’t know
How my one eyed trouser snake
Made it on the net
())///////////D
Why does she ask him
If it gets bigger than that
Or if it can dance
())///////////D
When back in grade four
He was the largest by far
But twenty years old
ooops - sorry for the double post
He scares all the girls
And they run screaming away
little terrorist
TT
“Believe those who seek the truth.
Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide
And the finalists are in the Dick Haiku Pageant, In random order:
Stevie Rave On with:
All of the women
Will watch you harden to 12
Who am I kidding?
Thufferin Thuccotash with:
He scares all the girls
And they run screaming away
little terrorist
TennHippie with:
O trouser serpent
Comes and goes from denim den;
Beware the zipper
Gilligan with
A full ten in length
Is that what you tell women?
Have you gone metric?
**Mike King with **
When I look backwards
At decisions I have made
Which head is in charge?
After the Evening Gown Competition is completed we shall begin the final round: The Dick Off.
Good luck one and all!
It is really big.
Really, amazingly big.
Are you not impressed?
I cannot decide
Whither pants leg to dangle.
Dress left? Dress right?
I had a hernia.
Doc said from heavy lifting.
Now I sit to pee.
Freezing cold wind blows
Affecting nether regions.
It disappears.
8th grade Speech class.
I walk up to the blackboard.
Oh, great. A hard on.
Taking swimming class
Girls noticed the greatness
No lonely nights since
Boasting at the bars
Those who have small willies
better drive great cars
For some it is length
Some say circumference
Mine fits neither
Length does not matter
Women will always beg you
Sir cum for us
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
My penis issues
Are more than just “a lack of”…
I want a BIG ONE!
oh dear, I just realized I’ve posted to both the bra size thing and this in the same day.
Logging off now…
Insert Random Witticism Here.
You really mean it?
It’s the best you ever had?
God, I am a stud.
Oh god! It is the
Biggest I’ve ever seen.
Would I lie to you?
my wife
It is ok to lie.
A little lie like this
Helps the fantasy.
(bad hemingway?)
Oh, this is just great.
It was hard a minute ago.
Don’t say Viagra…
Diminutive size
drives me to set other goals
The fiftieth post
Come on, hot momma
Arise and behold the beast
But beware, it spits
excited, horny
silly monkey wants to play
standing, awaiting
“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
(__)
\/-------\ | |-----| |
…c.c…c.c…
Faced with a quandry
Not enough blood for both heads
Shit. Who needs a brain?
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
I whip out my thang.
Ah! the river waver’s cold
and it is deep,too.
Armed, dangerous…
and off my medication.
Morning comes, Hello!
I’m always amazed by yer…
Yeeha! Shut my mouth!
In my teenage years
We were close: hard and fast friends.
Are we distant now?
Penis? What is that?
I’ve not seen one in a while.
They’re long and pink, right?
Here is my pathetic attempt:
Hubby horndog mate
No thanks, I’m gestating.
I have a headache.
If my dick could give
One gift to everyone
It would be world peace
A supermodel
Strolls by; dick says to brain,
“Move over - I’ll drive.”
Why are we men proud
Of our ridiculous dicks?
“I can make it bounce!”
Woman bends over;
Dick says to brain, “Let’s screw her
Before she stands up!”
Dick says to right hand,
“Must we wrestle? I always
Throw up at the end.”
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef