Disturbing Fortune Cookies

I, too, am a recipient of the infamous blank fortune cookie.

It did have lucky numbers on the back, yet somehow, some of them were numbers too high to be put on a lotto ticket. Very strange indeed.

Now, was that Amazing Stories or the colour version of Twilight Zone?

I think it was Amazing Stories…

The one that I got with our take out order on Saturday night. BTW, can I just say how much I love Eggplant In Garlic Sauce?

The fortune: “it tastes sweet” which now lives on our fridge under a Freakies magnet.

These aren’t real, but on a different MB I came up with the following disturbing fortunes:

“They all know about you.”

“How long would it take them to notice you’re gone?”

“Do it. No one would ever find out.”

“He’s coming for you.”

“They’re all robots.”

Naw, it was twilight zone all the way, baby! The color version from the eighties: instant karma for a corrupt food critic.

Once I went to a restaurant with several folks, one of whom was a woman I had a crush on (and had had a one-night stand with). She and I both got the same fortune, and we joked about the cosmic significance of that. Fat chance: it was the last time we hung out together.

On the other hand, a friend of mine got the fortune: “You will soon be crossing the great water” twice in a row, from different restaurants.

He is, fortunately, still among the living.


I forgot to mention the one that’s been taped on my monitor for many years:

“You should presently be able to deal from a full deck.”

I’m still waiting.

“Printed on recycled paper”

I remember that Twilight Zone episode! Remember how the first fortune the critic received read, “April arrives today, bringing romance,” and he bitched to the waiter about how it wasn’t anywhere near the month of April, then a few minutes later he meets a woman named April? And how in his office he had a little “graveyard” filled with matchbooks from the restaurants which had closed because of his bad reviews?

“The secret to success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside of you”

Sounds like it was written by a gourmand.

What happens if you get multiple fortunes in one cookie–there have been occasions where I have found 2 or 3 slips inside a fortune cookie. Which one is “the one” ??

I’ve gotten multiple fortunes in the same cookie also. It’s probably the one you see first.

I’ve also gotten several empty cookies, but the first time I got one on my birthday. That was creepy.

I received this fortune at a business meeting


We were all engineers and it confused us. The only thing I can figure is that someone knows about an affair I am having with a family member at work that I don’t know about. :slight_smile:

“Hi, my name is Fido.
If found, please call the
Hair of the Beast Vet Clinic
at (713) 269-8822.”

I just had Chinese for lunch. The message was simply:

You are almost there.
For some reason I found this very disturbing. Almost where? What’s going to happen?

I got

"no lo mein for you !

signed, the lo mein nazi"


“There is a gradual improvement. Feeling are sweet and tender.” – apparently lifted from a poorly-translated Chinese erotic novel


“You have a pair of shinning eyes” – I still wonder if it’s a typo, or intentional.

My boss got this one probably a month or so ago.

I don’t think any of us have figured out what that means yet.

True Fortune Cookie message typo:

“You will soon gain the respect of your pears.”
And yet I still hear them laughing at me…

“Love is like heaven fall from above”

Obviously badly translated.

I think you would be entitled to all three fortunes to the extent they do not conflict.