Disturbing Fortune Cookies

“Smile when you’re ready”.

I had no idea what to do.

I have one here that is great for the SDMB:

It came with the smilie.
A strange one that I once got was:

Unusual to who?

My entire table got fortune cookies printed in spanish…

…the restuarant was in Southeast Virginia.


incubus and lieu, you are both very very evil. And funny.

Dave Letterman got a fake one once that read “PAY AND GET OUT, ROUND EYES!” Hee hee.

I get very disturbed if I feel my husband has reached for the fortune cookie that was meant for me. Mayhap I need to get a life.

Actually Cranky, I just got one that was meant for you- it says “Cranky, beware the BK onion rings…”

does this mean anything to you?


It means in 5 hours everyone around her will have a nose like Michael Jackson’s.

How funny! I have that very same fortune taped to my monitor right now. I work in a law firm and I found it fitting, somehow.

I just got one a couple of days ago:

Great, and now the “dog” is looking at me in a very creepy manner.

I’m surprised no one else has mentioned “Help, I’m being held captive in a Chinese fortune cookie factory”.

Circa 1982, my fortune was dull, and my date, whom I did not know well, looked bored. So I re-read it, acting surprised. He looks at me, sez “What does it say?”
I looked behind me for a suitable guy, and said, “That cop over there wrote ‘Meet me outside in ten minutes!’”
Date says “GN NERVE! PIG BD” and lunges out of his chair.
“No, no, I was kidding!”
He had to read the fortune before he believed me. Even then he went on a Pit-level rant about how cops were the embodiment of evil, date-stealing dogs, etc.


I have not played a practical joke on anyone, ever, since. Still like Chinese food, however, and agree empty cookies are creepy. When my son got a dud, to contain the trauma I told him “That means you can wish for anything you want!!!” He bought it. He’s a good little noodle-eatin’ boy.


“The night-time is meant for”

I think this was to give me license for whatever. I no longer have the fortune.


Orange you glad you cracked open that cookie?

What, like none of you weren’t thinking of a fruity pun…

Someone slept with someone to get cough ahead at their job.

A friend of mine once got one that said something to the effect of “You or a friend will marry soon.”
Within a month a mutual friend of ours was dating someone new, within about three, he was engaged. I don’t think we ever he told him about the fortune.

My SO and I have been discussing the possibility of reproducing lately. We had Chinese about 2 weeks ago and my fortune was “God has given you a special blessing”. :eek:

His was something like “If you don’t ask, who will?” :confused: