How many of you who are divorced have friends who - after or before the fact - told you that you weren’t a match?
If you did have said friends, did you have many said friends?
I had one friend after the divorce tell me that, but that was all.
My husband, however, says that ALL of his friends and his family came out after his divorce telling him it was a mismatch. At least half told him before the marriage, actually, and he chose to ignore it. He found them telling him that he and I were a good match a good sign this time. I think so too.
I’m not divorced but one of my brothers is. Many of us, including his twin brother, told him before the wedding that he shouldn’t marry the woman he was marrying. He ignored us, of course. When they did finally divorce he acknowledged that we had been right. He just couldn’t see it at the time.
I had some people tell me after my second divorce that I wasn’t a good match for 2nd hubby. Several also told me that it was their opinion that it was a ‘rebound’ relationship. In hindsight, they were right. These same friends/family say that my current hubby and I are much better suited for each other.
My first hubby is/was batshiat crazy but I think I was too at the time we married. 
All my friends told me that getting married to my first wife was a terrible decision…AFTER we got divorced. Before we got married they were lining up to tell me what a great decision I’d made, but after the divorce it was, “Well, I knew all along this wasn’t going to work out…”
Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.
After my first wife and I divorced, there were two camps that people who knew us fell into:
- What took you so long?
- You were married?
The latter were people who know us less well. We did weekend SCA stuff and we’d arrive on Friday evening, spend most of the weekend apart doing our individual things (which didn’t overlap much) and then go home together.
Nobody ever said anything, but I know no one in my immediate family liked him. He had a nasty temper and had no problem with showing it to anyone, including my family.
If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
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- Mignon McLaughlin
Husband #1 - not really but my friend did say she saw warning signs towards the end but no overall mismatch. No one else really thought we’d get divorced.
Husband #2 - we probably got divorced due to all the coins dropped in the prayer boxes, seances held, spells cast, prayer lists incorporated, voodoo rituals formed and basic hopes and dreams of people who knew and loved me that I would get away from that crazy motherfucker. In the end he left me.
It’s kind of funny to me now…
Your husband’s and my stories sound the same.
My best friend, a roman catholic, helped talk me into divorcing my ex. An hour before Mrs. Magill and I got married, he and I went for a beer, and he told me that I was making the right move… this time.
Oh yeah, he, my brother, and my sister had a pool on how long my first marriage would last.
^
Was he in the ballpark? How long did it, if its not too nosy.
When I married my ex wife—aka: the vicious, shrill harpy—one of my best friends, a girl, kind of smiled weakly and said, “Good for you. She’s…um, interesting.”
After the divorce, friends who had stayed with me through the six torturous years I was married told me repeatedly how much they had always despised my ex-wife but didn’t want to cause problems by saying anything.
Absolutely nobody had any inkling that we were anything but blissful, as far as I know.
Some of them thought we were not good together but did not say anything until after the divorce.
Mostly it was my ex and I had different interests and I gave up my interests with my friends to be with the ex and do things she and her friends liked to do.
After I got divorced I swore I would not marry anyone who did not like hanging out with me and my friends doing things we liked to do. Of course I’ll still do things with her and her friends but I will not give up my friends again. Thankfully the marriage only lasted a year and I have my friends back.
There was a disagreement about the rules. My sister says she won because she was closest. My friend says he won because he was closest without going over.
Oh, three and a half years.