An undertone of anger is a stylish complement to sexuality. Didn’t you get Dr. Paglia’s memo?
Dr. Paglia is also a rather profound turnoff
I’m down with the dirty talk. See, for me, the amount of dirty talk is tempered by the amount of action. There’s a threshold that, when you cross it, all action stops. I, as a man, am terrified of crossing this line. You never know where that line actually is, which makes me a sad panda.
But at least you’re a man, because you know you’re capable of crossing the line.
My idea of bed talk is Mad Libs: “Oh (name of deity), (name of partner), you’re so (adjective), your (name of body part) is so (adjective), (name of partner), oh (name of deity), (name of partner), I need your (adjective) (name of body part) (preposition) my (name of body part), (name of partner repeated idiotically).”
I’ve only had sex with one black guy, and there was no dirty talk involved. We mostly had trouble carrying on without cracking up, due to the circumstances of the hook-up. Black guys tend to hit on me more graphically than non-black guys, though; there’s a lot more, er, descriptiveness in what they say. I find it both flattering and embarrassing and it tends to make me blush fiercely. As it happens, I have never been approached by a black guy while I was single, so I have never had the opportunity to see if they live up to their own hype. 
Most of the guys I’ve dated (all white) have been dirty talkers to some degree. They ranged from the shy boy I dated earlier this year who would say something naughty and then immediately turn red, to my wildest and most kinky lover, who would say just about anything anytime because he knew that kind of talk turned me on…and always backed up what he said. Yum. I also tend to be a dirty talker myself, but it took years before I was able to do it without being embarrassed by it. I got a lot of practice via phone sex during a long-distance relationship a few years ago, and now I can tell someone I’m going to [action] their [body part] as much as I want.
And then I do it, but only where we won’t get caught.
A good laugh.
To me there are two different aspects to sex talk. Ok, rather three.
The unattractive, ineffective type is the porn style talking, when it’s just a random non stop litany designed to either impress your partner with your mad skillz because you talk like a cheap hooker, or to get them to hurry up and finish.
Then we have Beware of Doug’s post #19 which is highly effective. (Rowr.)
There is nothing quite like having a strong willed man who is very skilled lead you around by your nether bits. Having him say “I will bring you to orgasm after orgasm,*” and know he means it, and this is his single minded purpose, and that he’s more than capable of doing it is pretty erotic. Does half the work right there.
Then there is the third option, which is the involuntary dirty talk. The “I can’t remember my name because I am so overwhelmed, yet I must verbally encourage more of the same.*” This is very appreciated, and a sign of a job well done.
In my experience with black men, which is minimal- pretty much ending at dirty talk-- it seems dirty talk is somewhat more pro forma. The couple that have hit on me seemed to just throw it out there, see what happens. It was more about them, the game, and just the way you talk to women, rather than being so overcome by my hotness that they couldn’t restrain themselves.
Actually, thinking about it more, the best conversation is getting some intelligent, articulate, highly controlled man to stumble over his words in reaction to me.
Yeah, that. I’m all about distraction.
- I was trying to keep it clean, folks.
I’ve only had sex with one black guy, sans dirty talk.
The white guys I’ve had sex with, I’d say about half were into some sort of talking, one was into serious dirty talk. My experience is that talking during sex falls into 3 categories:
- Comfortable with feedback: It feels so good when you X, Why don’t you get on top, etc.
- Into a bit of dirty talk: You’re so naughty; You like X, don’t you, you little slut; etc.
- Serious dirty talk: Of the type Diosa describes, very explicit and not confined to the bedroom.
Then there’s
- Guys who don’t really talk, but moan or grunt approval, and
- Guys who make no noise at all, even when they climax. These guys are weird, but I’ve only ever dated one, so they’re rather uncommon in my experience.
Most guys fall into 1, 2, or 4. I’ve only ever been with one guy who was into really serious dirty talk where he wasn’t just repeating a few stock phrases. He’d also do it when we weren’t in the bedroom or on our way to it, like the time he growled into my ear (before we’d ever done the deed) “I’d ravish you.” That was really hot.
I have to second (or third?) this agreement. My SO is a black man and loves the dirty talk in or out of bed. I think that black men in general have less issue with women being strong, confident, aggressive, in charge of their sexuality, etc.
This, at least has been my experience.
I don’t think this observation is unfounded. Black guys, in my experience, aren’t as sexually self-conscious as their white brethern, so they are more apt to vocalize their thoughts. White guys seem to hang back more, as if they are afraid of saying something stupid.
But I hesitate to extend this generalization to all white men. Was once with an Aussie that didn’t mind talking the talk. Maybe there’s something going on with American white guys?
Yeah, but did he walk the walk? 
…wait…there’s a kind of walk now? God dammit!
God dammit. I knew I should have brought Smoove B up first. He’s one of my favorite Onion columnists.
For some reason, I was not expecting that and it made me laugh like a madwoman.
Trouble is I can’t stand to talk that way to a woman. It totally kills my libido.
:smack:
MY personal observation is that while black men may talk dirty more frequently, when white men talk dirty, their expressions are usually a great deal more vulgar.
(Again, just my observation. May or may not be true)
[quote=DiosaBellissima]
Come to think of it, I should totally sleep with him. That’d be hot.[/qoute]
:eek: That WORKS? Why didn’t anyone tell me!? :mad:
To clarify my earlier statement, I love to get and receive dirty text messages.
OK, that’s what I’m talking about. I hate that stuff. Aspect #2 I can live with. Aspect #3 is awesome.
Hey, it works if the girl is open to that sort of thing. I’m certainly no prude, so maybe it will end up working for him.
When I hear folks say they don’t like dirty talk, I think the same thing I think when a guy says he doesn’t like BJs: darling, you’ve just had far too much of the bad stuff. Lame porn dirty talk is. . . lame. Insincerity is never welcome in bed! It’s got to be sincere. . . and dirty heh.
WhyNot- If you like the dirty talk, why hasn’t hubby learned this from the current bf, and exploited that fact?
I find pulling hair, smacks to the rear area, and strong bites work far better than dirty talk. Particularly the stolen moments in public. I’m white.
I can only speak for one white guy (me), but I like the dirty talk, both delivering it and hearing it. (Most women seem pretty shy about reciprocating, though, even when they enjoy hearing the dirty talk themselves.)