Here’s a tip that too many guys don’t know. When we’re on a first date, ask me questions. Pay attention to what I’m saying. Look at my eyes, not my boobs. Don’t just talk about yourself. I’ve been on a couple of dates where the guy never asked me one single question about my life. There were no second dates with these jokers.
Also, this might not work for all women, but I dig it. Be good with children and animals. A man who says “I can’t stand kids” is not going on a second date with me, and it’s not because I’m looking for a daddy. Being kind to the vulnerable–e.g., children and animals–is a sign of a loving character, IMO. When my SO mentioned that he did volunteer work with school kids, I absolutley melted. However, YMMV.
First I have to ask if Mr. Blue Sky gets called Mr. BS a lot.
Women are all different, I think actively trying to impress a woman is about the worst approach possible. Be confident, be yourself (you might want to skip that one:D), and find common interests. Remember that conversations should be two way, and feed on the vibes of the evening. Did she stare blankly at your eyebrows when you were talking about the joy of coffee enemas? Then don’t try and stick your tongue down her throat dropping her off. Best thing to do is not worry about getting laid, people can sense agendas, and your next date will be with Rosie.
And for the love of bob, show that you put some thought into the date, don’t have a 20 minute discussion of “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know where do you want to go”. Think of a few different types of places, give her a choice but at least have ideas.
Remember there are a lot more flowers than roses out there. Take a girl a bouquet of yellow or purple tulips. At least you’ll be different.
I go with the Dilbert idea of no talking, only “grunting”…
There was a cartoon where Dogbert told Dilbert to only grunt, not speak to his date. The girl he was dating had all these thoughts about how mysterious he was (because he didn’t speak), but that she knew what he was thinking. When he began speaking, she found out she didn’t know what he was thinking and she got bored and left.
~
Actually, TheRob was mostly accurate (talk to me sometime baby, I’m fifteen and my screen names in my profile…lol). Anyway, we do like guys to be friendly towards us. However, trying to impress us a little bit is always a good thing. We like to know that you care enough about us to try to impress us, just don’t take it overboard. Also, trying to get laid on a first date isn’t a good idea. If you want a lasting relationship, get to know her better first. The fact that he keeps himself clean is an absolute must, and being smart helps too. I will not date a guy that I can not have an intelligent conversation with. Also, I totally agree with burundi. You have to look a woman in the eyes. Don’t just stare at her chest. It can be so disconcerting to try to have a conversation with someone who’s not even looking at your face. If you want to complement her on her looks, a simple “You look great tonight!” should do the trick.
Learn to play the guitar and sing. My husband gets multiple offers a night for blow jobs, sex- you name it. The women LOVE it, and the music is a huge part.
Hey monica, you’re on my buddy list next time you come on I’ll say hi. But back to the topic, complimenting girls doesn’t always work for me… Too many girls in my school are insecure and get paranoid when we (the guys) compliment them, I get mad at my female friends who put themselves down, I have to tell them to be positive about themselves especially cause they do look good!
My question is:
Do women secretly like it when we compliment them, even if they put themselves down right after we do it?
Learn how to be yourself but maybe in a different way then you’re used to. When you feel nervous - breathe. Show yourself as an interesting person. Be presentable, confident. Engage. Do pass compliments on looks (but not in the areas men tend to talk about amongst themselves…“cough”) At least in the beginning don’t reveal yourself too much - be partially a mystery (that’s a big one right there). Be there for them as well, but don’t always go “to” them, let them come to you. Beware of falling for girls with low self esteem, unless you enjoy putting yourself through a wringer.
Get experience doing these things amongst people, and not necessarily with the fish in the sea you’re particularly interested in. Learn the game, learn to improvise. Eventually you’ll get well rounded, that person you want will come along and guess what? You’ll have a smooth ride.
I realize that getting laid is a high priority for young men in their teens and 20s (let’s be honest - it’s pretty high on the list for guys in their 90s, too), BUT - unless you’re visiting a “sex professional” (which I am NOT recommending) there are no garauntees.
That said, here are Broomstick’s daing hints for men:
Good bodily hygiene. You may not think you’re a handsome guy, but let me tell you, a handsome guy who stinks is a big turn off. The average-looking (or less) guy goes a long way just by keeping clean. Keep the hair under control. BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Clean hands and nails. But do NOT overdo it with aftershave, deodorant, etc. - moderation guys. Even the the worst man is not a Superfund site. Be subtle.
Treat her like a person. Yes, we know you’re thinking about tits, ass, and twats - you’re a (straight) guy, right? That’s normal. Don’t rub it in - look at her face and eyes when you talk to her at least 50% of the time (more if you can manage). Ask her what she likes, what she thinks. If you don’t agree with what she thinks say nothing more than “well, I have a different opinion”. Don’t try to convert her to “the truth” - arguments kill romance quickly. Don’t lie about your likes, dislikes, or opinions to try to “win” her - it will only hurt more later.
About those compliments… This is a surprisingly dangerous area of dating. Guys shouldn’t get too specific about physical attributes. You may like ample rear ends, but never tell a woman you like big butts. On a first date say “Wow, you look great”. When you get to know her better you can move to something like “wow, you have a great shape” or, if you’re really good friends “wow, you have a sexy ass”. But general stuff is safest: “You look great”, “That dress looks good on you”, “That’s a cute outfit”, “I like your hair like that”. If she says “no, I’m ugly” say something like “who told you that? I need to know, because that guy needs glassess real bad and I know an eye doctor to send him to”
Now, the answer to a big question for young guys - Why am I having so much trouble getting laid?. Well, sometimes it’s because you’re being a jerk, but even the nicest guy will have problems. Consider it from the woman’s point of view, here’s what she’s afraid of (and “fear” is the right word):
You’re going to screw her and then tell all your friends. Everyone will think she’s a slut. Other guys will say “Well, you did XXXX, what do you mean you won’t do mean” (Yes, this happens) Some very creepy men might threaten her with violence if they don’t get what other men get. This is why women don’t want you to talk about them in the sack, and why they get so angry when you do It can have dangerous consequences for them.
You’re going to promise her the world, but disappear tomorrow. You know how young men crave sex? Young women crave having a romantic relationship much the same way. They don’t want promises of roses they want REAL ROSES (so to speak). Don’t promise anything you don’t intend to give or do.
She’s afraid of being raped. Sorry if that’s a little blunt, but it’s the truth. There are some very bad people out there. Now, maybe YOU’RE not a rapist and would never do such a thing, but she doesn’t know that about you. You don’t know each other real well, that’s why you’re dating, right? Remember the average woman is 6-8 inches shorter and 50-80 pounds lighter than the average man - physically defending herself from her date may be difficult to impossible. I hate to bring this up, but women often do think this way - often while you’re ogling her tits and such. You need to convince her that you’re safe to be around. How do you do that? Well, aside from just being a nice guy in general, don’t loom over her, intimidation is intimidation even when accidental. There was an earlier comment about children and animals - your attitude towards them will be used by her to judge your attitude about weaker and smaller critters, including her. When you eat at a restaurant be polite and curteous to the waitstaff and other help. Don’t swear unless you’re certain she’s OK with that. Be curious about her, but if she hesistates after you ask her a question, or seems uncomfortable, be quick to say “hey, if that makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to answer” or “whoa, if I just stepped over the line I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”. Don’t tell dirty jokes on a first date. She needs to be able to trust you - so be trustworthy. She needs to feel safe - so be as non-threatening as possible.
What this means is that your chances of getting laid on a first date a real slim, unless, perhaps, this is a woman you’ve known for awhile. It can happen, but don’t expect it. And if she drops the line during dinner "I don’t believe in sex before marriage’ don’t get pissed off, just enjoy as much of the evening as possible and don’t ask her out again unless you’re OK with that.
Since no one has asked yet…Are you part of the British royal family or suffering from Multiple personalities? The “we” thing is enough to scare any woman off. :rolleyes:
It works better if the compliment is spontaneous, with the man looking in the woman’s eye. Preferably with a heartwarming smile.
I did that at a company Xmas party one year, and got myself a nice little friend I wasn’t thinking about impressing her at that moment either, I was just thinking how good she looked that night.
