Hey, thats cool… you like McDonalds right??? 
or are you one of those really posh KFC types??? 
Well, Im kinda of a semi vegi, but if it wasnt designed to walk them I’ll eat it! So itll have to be fish! With Guiness;) !!
A Guinness lover huh??? I’m impressed
A semi vegi means no chicken?
Oops major hijack… I’ll be accused of flirting again I guess …oh well… apologies for the hijack of your thread.
no problem;)
See… you ARE a nice guy 
and there’s not a damn thing wrong with that!!! I say “More Nice Guys Please”… the world is never gonna end cos its full of nice guys
“You where in bed together, and nothing happened.”
Sure, I did that before. Sometimes you’re just too pooped & its like 4am & you just want to get in bed together & sleep.
After reading many ‘nice guy’ threads, and having the final conversation with my last SO being a “You’re a nice guy and deserve better than me” one, :rolleyes: I think the problem is either terminology (what’s really -wrong- with being a nice guy?) or a euphamism. What it comes down to is “Nice guy” is what is -supposed- to be an easy let-down. You don’t get the girl, but you (supposedly) get your ego stroked. Here’s a hint to all the women who use the phrase out there in a break-up: It really doesn’t help. If the guy is hoping to develop something with you, ‘nice guy’ isn’t a consolation prize. This is mainly because 1) If he is a nice guy, he already knows it, and 2) He’s not getting you, and he’s getting the feedback of 'Hey, you’re not getting what you want, and it’s because you’re a “nice guy.”.
I think it’s perpetuating a stigma of nice guys finishing last. I went through a lot of personal hell on this one, and as a word of advice- if you want the guy to feel okay in the long run, and you’re just using ‘nice guy’ as an easy out, DON’T. Rejection is difficult enough, and in the long-run the guy is gonna think there’s something really awful about being a nice guy.
So now that I’ve vented that spleen, I need an honest answer from women out there who’ve played the ‘nice guy’ card. How many of you were doing it because you thought it would save a guy’s feelings, or because you didn’t want to say what you really felt / meant?
bibbouk said …
And here we have an age-old guy frustration. If a woman is approached by a “non-nice” guy who is bold and confident, why is it so difficult to ‘just say no’? But they, generally, don’t. As a result, we nice guys get to sit and listen to how some spectacular woman is embroiled in a terrible relationship with some jackass and is making no moves to get out. “All I want is a nice guy,” she laments, as the pattern is repeated over and over and over. Meanwhile, I have to wear shades so I can roll my eyes without being seen.
This leads me to conclude, after years of this crap, that women don’t want nice guys at all. If they did, they would date nice guys. Women are by no means stupid and can see the difference between a nice guy and all others from ten miles away, yet I am supposed to believe that the same ‘honest’ mistakes are made with such a remarkable frequency and so universally? I don’t think so.
I would give my eye teeth to hear a woman admit the truth for once. Even the ones who do truly want a nice guy will do nothing to pursue one and will not avoid those who are un-nice. If you want a nice guy, do your part because there are a million out there. Nice guys are generally not the ones who will stumble up to you at a bar and buy you a shot, so it’s probably going to require motivation on your part. It’s not because we don’t have an ego or confidence, but because most nice guys work very hard (often unconsciously) to avoid being a stereotypical player. But, I’m sure you’ve heard this all before. So, if you’re not willing to stick your neck out to get Mr. Nice, enjoy the free drinks and accept the consequences quietly.
Am I bitter? Yes. Now commence the flaming.
Instead of flaming how about I start yet another thread about how guys always claim they want a girl they can talk to but then end up going for the implant bimbos anyway.
One good stereotype deserves another, eh? :rolleyes:
This thread kinda shows that most of the guys that posted like the eyes in a girl and accent. What about Pam Anderson you ask? You couldn’t pay me to ‘F’ her with any dudes dick. Some guys are idiots though, you have idiots in every group. Not all guys like that kinda girl.
Thank you to everybody who posted a reply to my thread, reading your comments has helped me immensely, pro or con. At the end of the day, I cannot change who or what I am, I will always have the utmost respect for female companions, and I hope that they will accept the way I behave in the way it is genuinely given; without prejudice or need for recompense. I have absolute respect for people around me, my friends especially, and if I seem to be old fashioned in my ways, or ‘nice’, then so be it. I dont have much of a problem with that, though to be perfectly honest, it does trouble me that some sections of society do. But, I can only do what I do.
The lady I mentioned at the start of my thread deserves somebody to care her for at some point in her life, and if its not me, then I genuinely hope that she finds a loving partner to share her life with. She warrants the best.
I’m a nice guy (if I do say so myself:))…respectful, courteous and yes, chivalrous as well. Very laid back, interested in girls for who they are, not for what they look like or what I can get from them…yadda, yadda, yadda.
WHERE THE HECK ARE ALL THE GIRLS LIKE HONEYDEW!?!?!?!!
On the plus side, I’ve been experimenting with being a little bit of a bastard…being a bit more cheeky and confident is reaping big rewards as far as meeting girls in bars and clubs goes.
It’s a case of analyse the bastards to see what it is they have that we don’t and then simply act it out, the reaction is pretty darned good. And then, once you have their attention, they get to see what a nice guy you are from a completely different perspective.
I’d like to add that I’m not quite as big-headed as this post makes me appear I’m just trying to be honest.
I’d like to respond to a post that said (paraphrased) “Girls who say that a guy is ‘too nice’ lead him to believe that she wants someone who is ‘not nice’”.
And also add a “me too” to whoever said that the term “nice” often gets confused with “passive”.
A man can be nice and still be somewhat aggressive. But sometimes when a woman says a man is “too nice” what she really means is that he’s too passive.
I think most women want a guy that’s “nice”. Nice meaning that he’s kind, sweet, interested in her and her feelings etc.
Most women do NOT want a guy who’s so meek and mousy that he can’t even work up enough nerve to say hello. Or has enough belief and pride in himself that if some hot babe “blows him off” he can’t say “oh well, her prob not mine”.
Further, it’s not exactly as if merely being female imbues us with some sort of magic that inures us to feeling shy and nervous about “making the move” also.
Not sure if that helps or not, just wanted to reiterate what some brilliant minds here have already said in this thread.
So “Nice Guys” if you are constantly getting ignored and you believe or have been told that it’s because you are “too nice” perhaps you want to check and see if what you REALLY are being is “too passive”.
Nice = good
Passive = not good
Then why not say “You’re too passive” and quit using easily misunderstood code words that we (obviously) don’t get?
Well, I’ll grant you that you’re probably right about most women not being interested in those guys. But, I consider that, as you say, “her prob”, not his. Many men are shy, initially, but still capable of being entertaining, witty, and maybe even dashing, once they know someone. Does that make them worthless?
From where I sit, that’s not self-confidence; that’s arrogance. If that’s your taste, go for it. But, if a guy isn’t upset about being “blown off” by a hot babe, he wasn’t genuinely interested in her, anway.
I don’t know you very well, yet, but I just have to call you, on this one. That’s really playing the double standard for all it’s worth. It’s okay to excuse women from making the first move, on the basis of shyness, but it’s not okay for the man?
I think that’s an excellent point.
Women often say that they like confident men, and that they can quickly sense if a man isn’t confident. Recently though, a female friend of mine disagreed with that claim. She said that women think they’re sensing confidence – or the lack thereof – but that they often jump to the wrong conclusion.
I suspect that she’s right. After all, confidence isn’t an all-or-nothing quality. It’s perfectly possible that a shy, introverted individual is actually quite confident in many aspects of his life. Similarly, it’s possible – maybe even probable – that the loudmouthed jerk who seems to exude confidence is actually compensating for a mess of hidden insecurities.
So do women like confident men? I’m sure that they do. I also think that many of them fall prey to false perceptions of what confidence is.
Well…I do know one guy who would give his left arm for a woman like you…
if i may inject a bit of psychological analysis into the mix…
sometimes the “nice is not my type” problem that some women seem to have with men is a product of their past history. sometimes it’s even family history, particularly of the dysfunctional kind.
people from dysfunctional backgrounds do NOT live dull, uneventful lives. generally, there’s always drama of some sort lurking just around the corner, if it’s not already center stage in full-blown production. this ongoing emotional rollercoaster, for better or worse, becomes (to the participants) the norm of what human relationships and interactions “should” be like.
so when someone who’s grown up in a family where people are routinely jerked around, put through large amounts of emotional turmoil or otherwise lived on a thin emotional edge, heads out in the world, what type of person are they most likely to be attracted to?
that’s right, guys… the egotistical jerks who use/abuse women, the self-centered cretins who think all the world exists for their personal convenience and comfort.
it’s the farthest thing from logic that exists…but IT’S REAL. you live what you’ve learned. and when your life has been lived in a highly emotional state, “nice” guys who are reliable, considerate, trustworthy, <insert appropriate boy scout qualities here> can, to these maladjusted individuals, seem …
dull.
boring.
unappealing.
the unhappy truth is, sometimes women who go around saying “All I want is a nice guy” would no more go on a second date with one than they would put an ant colony in their knickers. they THINK they really want someone who will treat them in a normal manner; however, they have NO IDEA how to actually relate to someone like that when he comes along.
this also accounts for many instances of the common complaint, “Why do I always end up picking such crappy guys as boyfriends?” well, DUH… that’s the only model you’ve spent any extended time interacting with. that’s the kind, god pity you, that you feel equipped to handle with any degree of confidence. their behavior may be the epitome of crappy, but hey, you’re used to crappy. you’ve dealt with it for years. as far as you’re concerned, that’s how it was, how it is, and how it always will be.
when this is someone’s background, it takes a lot of self-examination and relearning just to be able to relate well with decent people. you have to be able to sit back and say to yourself “Oh, so I’m always falling for the hard-drinking guys that treat me like their retarded pet dog, because that brings back the emotional script I played out as a child when my drunken dad would tell us all how everything bad was all our faults.” it takes self-awareness sometimes of why things feel “comfortable” and “right” enough to get into them, when by any sane measuring stick they are nowhere NEAR “right”. and usually it takes awareness of the problem to spark any start in realigning how you interact with others, or changing what appeals to you in another.
(summation: if you can’t see why being attracted to losers is bad for you, the attraction to losers is not likely to fade.)
Bang on the mark, Veb.
I am absolutely sure you’ll find a female who appreciates your qualities out there, Emofkuniv. You sound like a lovely bloke, and I wouldn’t presume to be able to gauge if you’re passive or not, but that might be a good word to replace in your mental dictionary every time you’re tempted to use the word ‘nice’ in that context.
One other thing: a very wise man once told me ‘if anyone ever tells you they’re not good enough for you, or you don’t want someone like me - LISTEN and believe them. They’re trying to tell you something, and they sure know themselves a heck of a lot better than you do.’
Amen, amen, amen. Took me a long, painful year to realize this one. If they say they’re not good enough, it’s likely true. Of course, on the other hand, the heart wants what it wants, so we usually say to ourselves ‘they don’t really mean that’. :rolleyes: