‘So sorry, but I’m just about to use some stripping products with fumes, def unsuitable for kids. So much wish you had called first! Oh well, why not go grab some McD’s and have a picnic in the backyard? But use the Bathroom at McD’s mine is unusable at the moment, that stuff is shut off!’
No way they’re coming back from McD’s, in my opinion. And if they do, they’re in the yard, just stay in the house. If they knock for anything, lean from around a corner and just wave them off/wave goodbye!
Hey, come on in! It’s awesome to see you! Just a heads up, though: I’ve got a bit of a black widow spider situation going on. They’ve been perfecting their ninja skills, dropping down from the ceiling like tiny, eight-legged paratroopers. They already got my dog Lucky last week. What can I whip up for lunch? Maybe something quick… you know, before the next spider strike?
I’m honestly flabbergasted that anyone would be even remotely on Lark’s side in this scenario.
She lives 45 minutes away – not really close by, but not an insurmountable distance, either. If she’s so concerned about her kids not getting to see their great-aunt, she can set up a time to visit; it shouldn’t be that difficult, especially if she takes the kids shopping in a large mall nearby semi-regularly.
And about that mall, which is apparently only a couple of miles away: Why couldn’t the kids have gone to the bathroom there, if the need was so great?
And who in the world “just drops by” at lunchtime? Especially when – again – you and your kids were JUST AT a location (the mall) that surely has multiple restaurant options?
Based on how the scenario is presented, it sounds to me like Lark just wanted StarvingButStrong to offer up a free lunch to her and her kids and possibly entertain them for a while, with absolutely no notice whatsoever. And she fully expected SBS to have no issue with that.
Family or not, that’s the height of rudeness. It’d be one thing if the scenario happened on a semi-regular basis (still not okay, but at least there’d be precedent), but for Lark to just stop by out of the blue and expect to be fed? I’m calling BS all OVER that.
As background, I’m 57, and I grew up in a small Southern town where neighbors and friends regularly dropped by to visit or ask for help with a minor task. It was expected, and part of the fabric of life. But even those frequent visitors would never have presumed to stop by at lunchtime and expect to be fed; in fact, if they came to the kitchen door and saw us eating, they’d excuse themselves and come back later.
Hard agree here. And I would be even more “rude” just to make sure I get across how much I dislike unannounced visitors.
I wonder what would have happened if the OP welcomed their guests with open arms and immediately set them to work.
You think?
To me, spending some time with people who are important(ish) to me is the thing that matters. Cleaning the house is just “shit that needs to get done”.
i would be willing to bet that many of these people (or people like them) would also be bent out of shape if they found themselves not invited to future important events. “Yeah…I didn’t invite you to our daughter’s wedding because last time we saw you you slammed the door in her face…dick.”
Or maybe they wouldn’t care as it would just give them more fuel for their resentment machine.
No. It “amounts to” deciding who or what interrupts your life at any given moment.
It’s actually no different from if I am reading a book and some panhandler keeps bugging me for money and I ignore him.
That’s not lying.
I wouldn’t be able to enjoy spending time with the people with my house torn up. I wouldn’t be able to focus on them, and would instead be spending time worrying about what they think of my messy house, and worrying about when I was going to be able to finish the work that I had started. On the rare occasion that someone has dropped in, I was more worried about the shit my kids had left out, the mess on the counter, etc., than what the person talking to me was saying. Such is life with anxiety. A quick text an hour or two before they come over and I can avoid that by picking up things that are going to distract me, and enjoy the company.
So you would have no issues with being interrupted in your plans for the day by an unannounced visit from a relative who is asking you to feed her family?
I’m honestly amazed that anyone would think this is acceptable, but I realize everyone looks at these things differently. I will give you credit: You’re obviously more flexible and people-oriented than I am.
I’m not sure “fuel for their resentment machine” is valid, though; that implies StarvingButStrong, myself, and others look for ways to feel frustration with daily interactions. That’s not the case (at least, not from my perspective); in this particular instance, it’s the thoughtlessness of Lark for not contacting her aunt prior to visiting and her overt willingness to impose on SBS regardless of what SBS’s plans were that is causing resentment.
Heh, the biggest problem with this idea is: I like people just fine. I don’t like them dictating to me when/where/how we hang out. If you show up impromptu and I’m already occupied, too bad for you.
You’d lose that bet. I hate weddings. I’d love to not be invited. Luckily, neither of my parents had any siblings, so, no cousins!!
My gf has dozens (hundreds?) of cousins, so she gets invited to weddings every summer. I get to stay home and cut grass, which I prefer.
The idea that someone would drop by her house unannounced and expect her to feed them and their children on the spot blows my mind. The level of entitlement there! Nobody owes anyone a free lunch.
You misspelled “smoke.”
Actually, I vape while riding the mower.
(Technically I can vape cannabis or distillates of same, but “smoking” is illegal, because of health concerns. Medical Marijuana Program is very specific!)
I think she planned it that way: shopping, she told herself as soon as we are done we can head over to SBS’s house and eat. Never occurred to text first as any polite person would.
I must’ve been fortunate to escape with my life when I stopped off at a couple of homes in the area recently to ask residents what they thought of the paving company that resurfaced their driveways (the supplied references were address-only, no phone numbers).
Also knocked on doors in neighborhoods where we were thinking of moving, often in relatively isolated areas. Never was greeted at gunpoint.
We are very secluded, the last of three homes on a road with a sign reading, PRIVATE ROAD NO TRESPASSING.
No guns pointed, but a salesman will trigger a call to the police, who will respond and cite the person for trespassing as well as soliciting without a permit.
We enjoy the solitude. If we didn’t we’d welcome the town to plow and maintain our road, instead of doing it ourselves.
I might’ve shot you just because you wanted to sell me driveway paving. I can’t tell you how many fliers I get in my mailbox, stuck on my gate. Signs stuck up on the road. I burn them all. Because no one comes and gets my trash.
Ahem, look! My drive is already paved. The actual road is not.
Sweet, nice paving salesman please please change your employment opportunities to work on the county to fix MY road that they refuse to let me block from public use. Therefore billet haulers, lost people, young lovers, vine pullers, oil company water trucks all use it, damage it, rut it out, break down and get stuck.
And we have to fix it.
I need a mouth at some county government office. I want you to be the person.
They’re both wrong.
The niece is presumptious. But OP comes across as rude and grouchy.
I have in home kids and need to deal with stuff, and people still come to my door from time to time. And I’m an introvert. I get it done. I’m not slamming doors in people’s faces.
I’m with the OP on this one. If I’m in the middle of a project, or a practice session, or whatever, I’m not going to drop it unless it is someone that is truly only in town at that moment and I really want to see them. What if I’m in the middle of painting a room? Should I go ahead and seal up the paint, wash the brushes, etc just so I can chit-chat with a family member that lives CLOSE by (45 minutes is close)? Not that I paint a lot, but I have hobbies that have serious time commitments (wood working, music, gardening).
Now if I’m sitting outside, enjoying the sun and a cocktail, sure, even though I would still be mildly peeved that I didn’t get a heads-up.