I have kids and I have to take phone calls. Etc. I’m just not in this headspace where I need hours of time and there can never be any interruption. I get calls from numbers I don’t know, it could be school or something. A certain amount of public facing is reality for me. Again, I’m an introvert, this level of self involvement is just not my thing any more.
That’s an interesting point about a difference in point of view.
If you (any you) have kids at home, you’re used to the idea that your time is controlled by them and their myriad interruptions. You’re (mostly) along for the ride amidst their chaos.
OTOH an older, retired person living alone for years or decades is used to the the idea that they, and only they, control the use of their time.
Setting aside the issue that the OP’s description of Lark says she’s a selfish entitled shit who’ll never take “no” for an answer, and counterfactually assuming a reasonable person in her stead, I still see lots of room for a parent used to one life being surprised when encountering an elder used to another. And vice versa.
Here’s another thing the OP said that has not been (much) remarked. They were embarked on a deep cleaning project of the sort one only tackles once a year. If that. And by bad luck, since she had no way to know, Lark barges in on that megaproject, not the routine dusting of bric-a-brac or vacuuming of rugs.
I personally don’t have annual megaprojects, but if I had some time-sensitive activity that I’d planned for quite awhile which had to happen (or finish) today, I’d be much less likely to react well to unplanned unannounced preemption by a friend or family member than if I was doing my daily routine of [whatever] niggledy tasks when the doorbell rang with a surprise on the other side.
I’m not saying I can’t take a phone call. I’m saying I’m not going to drop everything to have visitors for 30 minutes+, potentially feed them, etc. However, I will say I don’t tend to answer or reply to texts when I’m in the middle of these projects unless I know something important is coming in. My elderly parents and inlaws have a special ring and I’ll take their calls whenever I can.
Arrange a visit to my house. Don’t just drop by. I promise I will do the same for you. I’m happy to have scheduled visitors and we do it fairly often.
He wasn’t selling driveway paving. He liked their driveway paving and was curious who did the work for them and whether they did a good job. Obviously no one is going to be strolling by your house to ask about your driveway like in a suburban neighborhood where it would be totally appropriate.
I kind of know my immediate neighbors. We don’t chat much but occasionally one will knock on my door because they have a question. I always answer for them because it’s occasional and it’s always just a quick question. The last time was when the lady across the street wanted to know about the people who repaired my sewer line.
I get that. I was just taking the opportunity to grouse on paving, window, gutter salesmen. Not the poster particularly.
Sorry for my hi-jackiness.
I think we can all agree that door to door sales people should be shot.
“Oh, you want food? Great! I could eat. Let me know where you’re ordering from!”
Well, StarvingButStrong already acknowledged right there in her OP that her own behavior was rude, so this take is not particularly hot.
Actually, I have a side hustle where I cruise through
neighborhoods to tell homeowners that I have a shitload of blacktop left over from a big job, and could do their driveway resurfacing for, like, really cheap.
They always fall for it. 
She’s notorious for not respecting others’ boundaries. I invited her in, apologized self-consciously for how I looked (I wasn’t prepared for company), and we had a nice conversation.
Thanks; I’m not sure I’d have been as polite in your place.
Can we carve out a few exceptions, the Fuller brush man, Girl Scouts, missionaries, campaign canvassers, students.
But yeah open season on the guy selling meat or produce from the back of his van.
No that’s a bit rude. Popping in to say hi is one thing. Expecting a full meal is another.
A lot of this all depends on what sort of relationship you have with the person too.
One of the reasons I don’t like my aunt-in-law (aside from just being weird and tedious) is that she has no etiquette or social skills or taste or manners or conversation skills. Like when my wife plans a family dinner, she shows up too early or too late and has all these special demands.
Heh. Years ago a woman and her daughter stopped by selling girl scout cookies. I paid for a box but told the mom they could keep the cookies when they arrived. She persisted in attempting to give me the cookies, which I did not want. That was the last time I bought any.
And missionaries? Why would they get a pass? We called the cops on the Watchtower people (jehova witnesses?) 15 years ago. Got to hand it to them, they never returned.
Students? When my kids were forced to sell garbage for school trips, I’d buy the minimum rather than allow them to pester the neighbors.
Let’s not carve out the missionaries. Though I think the assorted door to door salespeople should only be shot with a paintball that marks them with a warning signal, so everybody who sights them knows what they’re up to.
I would love to see a Fuller brush man/person. Do they still exist where you are?
No haven’t seen a FB guy since he ran off with the Avon Lady 
I give missionaries a pass, clean cut in starched shirts with ties riding bicycles in the noonday heat gotta give em some slack. Im not interested in their theological discussions or their pamphlets but strangely my misanthropic neighbor gets a kick out of jawing with them on his porch while he smokes a blunt. The boys stick around putting in their time and maybe getting a contact high.
That’s their choice. The Amish and Mennonites are also riding bicycles in the noonday heat, and they don’t feel required to try to proselytize me. And I’m not impressed one way or the other by a lack of beard, or the presence of a tie.
The essence of proselytizing is going around telling other people ‘the way you are thinking and the way you are living and any religion you may happen to have are essentially Wrong’. People are welcome to think that about other people; but it’s massively rude to insist on telling them about it.
I have a very good relationship with the Amish. There’s a lake I like to paddle that is close to Smicksburg, an Amish community. The Amish fish there (not for recreation, for food), towing their rowboats on axles behind their buggies.
One guy likes talking. I asked him once if he ever had second thoughts about living the way he does. He looked off into the distance, thinking, then answered, “every day”.
Last year an Amish crew was working, harvesting trees from land near my business. They had problems and one of them walked over and asked my receptionist if she could make a call for him. She came and got me. I walk out there and we both recognized each other from the lake. He greeted me, we shook hands, and I made some calls for him. My employees were awestruck that I had an Amish friend.
We have a wireless doorbell, but with our metal lath/concrete walls, it only works half the time. Then it stopped working, but we never noticed (USPS and FedEx don’t ring the doorbell).
When a neighbor resorted to knocking hard, we started laughing when we realized our doorbell hadn’t worked in months… and we had NOT missed it!
The same thing happened to me! I replaced my old doorbell with a camera doorbell and realized that the old one was broken. I have no idea for how long.