Do you ever just 'Drop By'?

In My Humble Opinion
21

3 of my girl friends live in the apartment 4 doors from mine, I don’t mind them dropping in, and often drop in on them too.

But just them, not other people. Because if the flat is messy, I know I can tell them to give me a few minutes, and vice versa.

The only weird time was when I wasn’t wearing a bra under my t-shirt (slobbing at home), and they called round with a couple of our guy friends for a drinking session. I answered the door just expecting the girls and then had to run to the bedroom with my arms folded across my chest on as soon as I saw it wasn’t!

22

I don’t, because more often than not it would be inconvenient for the person I’m dropping by on. Also, people who know me, know that I don’t like people dropping in on me either. My family goes by this rule as well.

23

if this is the case, i opt not to answer the door.

just sayin.

:wink:

24

One Sunday morning, my doorbell rang. MING-MONG-MING-MONG-MING-MONG. No, no need to be alarmed, you push the button once and it does a triple “ming mong.” I just ignored it, figuring it was someone witnessing.

MING-MONG-MING-MONG-MING-MONG

Half-asleep, I looked at the clock… It was 7:30 A.M. Let me repeat that in case you didn’t quite catch that, it was 7:30 A-frickin’-M. The hell? I covered my head with my pillow. “Idiots!”, I thought to myself.

MING-MONG-MING-MONG-MING-MONG

Okay, now that was weird. The Mormons, the Jehovahs, those folks usualy ring twice and give up. Persistent bugger out there.

MING-MONG-MING-MONG-MING-MONG

Finally I peered out the window and saw a “friend’s” car. W…T…F…?!? No way in hell I was answering the door, it was 7:30, I’m in my jammies and have no intention of getting up for antoher three hours. I went back to bed. My then-GF was making mad grumbly noises. “It’s Eric,” I said. Then my then-GF made a much louder mad grumbly noise that sounded kind of like “you’ve GOT to be kidding!”.

MING-MONG-MING-MONG-MING-MONG

This idiot, rang our doorbell no less than 7 times. Again, I must repeat, he rang it seven times and it was 7:30 A-frickin’-M in the morning!!!

Firstly, you do not drive 90 miles to just “drop by” unnannoucned (yes, there was no urgency or anything, he just got up real early to drive 90 miles to “drop by”).

Secondly, do you actually think it is socially acceptable – on any planet – to show up uninvited at 7:30 on a Sunday morning? Were you expecting people who always sleep in until 10 on Sundays to actually be up and thrilled to see you?

Thirdly, ring our bell once, maybe we didn’t hear it. Ring our bell twice, maybe we can’t come to the door. Ring our bell three times, we’re probably not available or not home. Ring our bell seven times…

Now, even if by some miracle we did answer our door after seven rings, do you honestly think we’d be happy to see you?

25

Eats_Crayons, what in the hell did your friend want at 7:30 in the morning?

I am not a drop in type person. I think it’s disrespectful not to call and it doesn’t take long to do. My parents don’t mind if people drop in and they do the same. I hate this.

26

There’s only one person that I “drop by” on. She’s been my best friend since 6th grade, and she lives in one of those households where multiple people drop by multiple times a day and nobody even bothers to knock. Occasionally people will come over to my house unannounced but it doesn’t really bother me, because we always end up going somewhere else.

27

I have one friend that is casual enough that I feel comfortable “just dropping in”. All other friends, acquaintances, relatives, etc., I call first. My best IRL friend lives just down the street from me, and we’re on the neighborhood crime watch together; she often drops off papers, etc. for me, and will sometimes ring the bell to see if I can talk for a few minutes. If I can’t, she doesn’t seem put out by it. But I would never say “Just drop by anytime” if I didn’t mean it. I know from long experience that too many people will take you literally.

I think if I were the OP’s wife, I would clear up that little misunderstanding in short order.

28

F**k if I know, we never answered the door. Let him drive 90 miles home.

Don’t think it was anything important though because when we saw him a couple weeks later, he simply said “I was in the neighbourhood the other weekend and stopped by, but no one was home.”

He sort of had stalker-like tendencies. Not a true stalker, he was more or less just suffered from “severe social incompetence.” So some of his behaviour was malapropos though his intentions were innocent enough. For example, he was the kind of guy who would buy acquaintances really inappropriately expensive Christmas presents. Most people found him to be a huge nuisance. It was hard to tell him to F-off, though.

To address his maladroitness, you had to sit him down and talk to him as if he was a little kid and explain that you understood his good intentions, but such-and-such is not considered appropriate social behaviour. He would look wounded like a child and would tear up with a protest of “but I was tryng to be nice”. However, despite his weirdness he would usually make an effort to correct the offending behaviour.

I don’t know WTF he was thinking showing up at our door at 7:30 a.m. :rolleyes:

29

I absolutely detest people who think it’s ok to just drop in unannounced, I think it’s the height of rudeness. I don’t do it and I always tell people to ring first when they say “I’ll drop by sometime”. I always try and keep my place reasonably presentable but invariably whenever anyone just pops in, the house will be in a mess. It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable. Normally I would not answer the door if I was home alone anyway.

My ex was a great one for dropping in on people and it would cause an argument every time. He just couldn’t see how rude it was. He would say “oh they don’t care” but that is just his opinion they might care and I’d rather not take the chance. Thankfully where I’m living now nobody every drops by, the only knocks on the door are for deliveries.

30

Have manners changed, or has society, or have I, or is it just me getting older? (Probably all four. ) But when I was twenty, in the summer of '74, I had this conversation with my landlady in the south of France, who sometimes, I found out, lived in New York City, where I was from:

“I’ll have to pop by sometime,” I said, cheerful and friendly.

“Call first,” she said, cheerful and friendly.

“Well, sometimes, I just, you know, l find myself in your neighborhood.”

“I’m sure you do. But give a jingle first, all right? We’ll love to see you.”

“Okay,” I said, my smile fading. “But I hope you won’t mind terribly if I’m walking down your block, and I happen to ring your bell.”

“Actually, we really would prefer a little notice.”

This conversation went on for quite a few exchanges, which I’ll spare you, but the upshot was that I felt put off, and I never gave a jingle nor got in touch at all. I thought they were uptight anal rententive jerks, who utterly lacked any spontaneity at all.

Now, I’m appalled at my bad manners, my refusal to accept the wishes of others, my sheer obnoxiousness, and how much more harshly I would treat some young cretin who tried to pull that sort of crap on me.

31

I’ll just post that I’m apparently in the minority here, because I like it when people drop by, and will drop by once in a while myself. I feel happy when my friends surprise me with a visit, and, hey, if I’m still in my pajamas then I can tell them to wait in the living room while I put some clothes on. Of course I expect them to come by at normal hours and knock and so forth, but if someone’s in the neighborhood and wants to drop by, I’m excited to see them. If I’m busy, or I’m going out, I’ll just say so.

Of course, maybe I’m just overly literal. If, as dwc1970 says, I told someone, “let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you,” I would definitely mean it, too. If one of my good friends needed a ride somewhere or something picked up or whatever, I would help them out, and I don’t think I would make the offer to someone I wasn’t willing to follow through on.

32

Full family and / or just adult stuff - you bet; no drop-bys.

Walking around the block with the kids on bikes, etc? Seeing their kids outside and proposing a spontaneous playdate? Sure, why not? Their kids stopping by on a weekend morning and asking if my kids can play? Again, why not? And if you have plans, just say so; no biggie.

We ran into issues with this with a down-the-street family - they got all twitchy if I was taking my son for a bike ride and he ran into their son doing sidewalk chalk in the street and starting to play. Jeez, get over it.

33

Not calling first is impolite. At the minimum. I don’t know anyone, even family, who I wouldn’t call first to arrange a meeting.

34

On a slight hijack, what the HELL is with people who, once they knock or ring the bell, and upon receiving no instantaneous reply, try to open the door? I didn’t respond within five seconds, so you’re going to enter my home?

I never, ever go to visit someone without arranging it on the phone first. It’s not only more fair to them, it saves me time. I don’t want to drive twenty minutes only to find out that you’re not home.

35

I have one friend who drops by - I’m always glad to see her and she’s the kind of gal who will help me make the beds if that is what I’m busy doing when she shows up. On the other hand I myself will never drop by without a call first - and like someone said above in this age of cell-phones there is no reason not to call first, even if you are sitting in your car in the driveway. My husband used to drop by, but won’t do anymore it if I’m with him, though I think he still will when he’s alone or with guy friends.

36

I think dropping by can work on a case-by-case basis.

When I lived in Brooklyn, I had a close friend who lived four blocks away, and she and I would drop in on each other all the time. I miss the intimacy and friendliness of knowing that someone was nearby, thought of me and came over to say hi.

With other friends, I would never think to stop by without calling first.

37

When we were young, the whole neighborhood full of kids would “drop by” to see if so-and-so was home, and could they come play. Isn’t that the world of kids nowadays, too? So sad if that is gone.

But as an adult? I never would dream of dropping in somewhere unannounced. I even call my Dad—but he lives 30 minutes away, and I don’t want to get there and have him be gone.

I really wouldn’t mind if somebody showed up on my doorstep, though. My house is clean enough for us, and if they don’t think so, tough! My 19 yr old son brings friends over all the time - not a problem.

38

I’ve never had a big problem with the “drop-in.” I don’t do it to others very often at all, if ever, but i don’t generally mind if people do it to me. The only exceptions are people who i probably wouldn’t want in my house, no matter what.

And i don’t quite understand everyone’s hysteria about their untidy house. I figure that my friends don’t base their opinion of me on the tidiness–or otherwise–of my house. If your friends are that judgmental, maybe you need some new ones. And if they’re not, and you’re just paranoid, maybe a little introspection is in order.

39

My family drops by, which is fine. Perhaps a tad hypocritically, we don’t want to live within 30 minutes of my in-laws, who we don’t want dropping by.

My friends might stop by to drop something off, but would normally call first. If they’re unexpected, they are generally prepared only to do a drop-off and not to come in (if no one answers the door they just leave the item on the doorstep). But I may well invite them in for a bit.

Spontaneous playing on the street, moving into a house if invited, is great and fine.

If my house is messy–and it is–I just live with it. Everyone knows by now that I’m kinda messy, and they still seem to like me OK. I yam what I yam.

40

I’ll rarely just ‘pop in’.

The couple of times I have done it has been when I call first, and I need to borrow a tool from a friend (he told me where he hides his key). If he is not home, and I need something that I don’t have I will leave a note, borrow the tool and take it right back. We have that agreement.

Our friends do this to us very rarely. Once though, a couple popped in on us right when we where getting back from vacation. 15 minutes after we walked in the door. In their defense, they where just in the neighboor hood, but they where going to their other house that they are in the process of building, which is only about a mile away.

The guy took his shoes off and immediatly fell asleep on our couch. My Wife and the gal went for a short walk.

I was left with the husband on the couch.

It did bug me. When you come home from vaca, your need to relax, unwind, make some calls and check on things.

I checked my email and started to unpack. He left