I’m not going to name a law after myself–and it probably already has a name–but a la Gaudere’s law, if anyone comes into a thread saying “I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned XXXX”, it is likely that at least one person, if not multiple people, have mentioned XXXX. I even came across it today in the live albums thread in Cafe Society, with someone mentioning not seeing Cheap Trick’s Live at Budokan mentioned.
I reminded of something Penn Jillette (the magician) once wrote. He was talking about how he and his partner Teller spend a lot of time designing their tricks. And at some stage in the process they do a review and ask themselves “If this trick goes completely wrong, what’s the worst possible outcome?”
Now if they decide the worst possible outcome is serious harm like death or a significant injury, they redesign the trick or, if necessary, abandon it. No trick is worth the risk of serious harm.
But if the risk is just that they will publicly fail and embarrass themselves, they go ahead with it. They consider that to be an acceptable risk.
So look on the bright side - you’re making progress. You’ve gone from playing stupid games that could kill you to playing stupid games that only leave a mess for you to clean up.
Karen’s Law: Anyone who thinks their money is more valuable than their life is probably right.
Rick’s Rule
If when fault tracing a piece of equipment if you come to equal possibilities A) or B) replace the one that is cheaper/easier to replace first. You might get lucky.
Murphy’s addendum to Rick’s Rule Want to bet?
No matter how logical a thing sounds, it won’t necessarily work out when you try it.
No matter how simple a code change to your program is expected to be, when you implement it you’ll discover some tricky subtlety that has to be handled.
I formulated the Theory Of The Probability Of Circular Error many years ago, if you are working with a round object the probability you will put it back together facing the wrong way is 100%, but UncleRogelio has stated it much more elegantly. Then there’s my pet, the Entropy Wave, which warns that if it hits the fan don’t go back in the room…
I find that if you lose item A and cannot find it, you’ll come across it later when looking fruitlessly for item B (which you won’t find until you’re looking for item C).
Software that can only be installed and configured manually is most likely crap.
I read this in a novel a few months ago. It expresses exactly what I have learned over my 59 years:
“Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.”
So you need to do something within a short time frame. You want to rush through it but inevitably don’t make it. Instead, say “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.”
Works for me more often than not.
Afterward, the Polack said, “Just how fast was that calf going when it hit that cow’s ass?”
I saw a demotivational poster on this topic. It showed a photo of a USB plug, and the caption read, “USB: 50% chance of inserting it correctly; get it wrong 80% of the time.”
I like that one. It describes how I work in my career as a professional cook. My servers often remark on how fast I get the food orders out, but that I never look like I’m moving very quickly. It’s because of something I figured out a long time ago: trying to “hurry” ultimately slows you down, because it increases the chance of mistakes and accidents. So instead of trying to be “fast”, I’ve focused on being “efficient”. And efficiency has speed as a side benefit.
Any work email with an attachment will tend to have at least two attachments.
I see you have been there too. :smack:
Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! Thank you so much for reposting and for the beautifully succinct summation! I have not had a good week, and while I was finding the posts in this thread amusing, yours was the first one that actually made me laugh.
You totally fucking rock, Shakes!
I should also submit my dad’s “law”. Though it doesn’t really fit the definition in my OP. He was a Washington State Patrolman, and eventually got promoted into a management job. He put a sign on the wall behind his desk that read:
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”
In other words, “Don’t expect me to fix your fuckups.”
Robot Arm’s Corollary to BrotherCadfael’s Law: “Makes a great gift”, doesn’t.
The best time to find out how things work is when they don’t.
my rule
Are you kidding? That’s two bank shots and nothing but net. You should be bragging about that one!
Patch’s Law of Wastepaper Baskets: No matter how big the basket, nor how small the gap between the basket and the wall, the object thrown into the basket will go between the basket and the wall.