What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
Two hookers and a pimp walk into a crack house, the first … Wait, never mind.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks.
Three little pigs walk up to a farmer and say - “Mr. Farmer, may we please have some straw to build a house?”
The farmer says “Holy crap! A talking pig.”
Elephant jokes are always good. My favorite:
Q: Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they’d be aspirin.
And of course, what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Elefino.
Lady opens refrigerator and finds a rabbit staring at her. “What are you doing?!” she asks. Rabbit says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?” Lady says yes it is. “Well, I’m just westing.” (I loved this when I was 8. And 9. And today…)
Pete and Repeat were sitting on a log.
Pete fell off. Who was left?
Repeat.
Pete and repeat were sitting on a log…
(This joke is my usually ‘filler’ joke when the kids are getting all " He’s touching me" in the car. Drives the nuts and they fall for it every time.
My favorite version of this joke is with the muffins:
Two muffins are in an oven. One turns to the other and says, “Boy, it sure is hot in here.”
And the other one jumps back and goes, “Holy crap a talking muffin!”
I wasn’t going to post this, but compared to the flaming duck and fly jokes it is positively tasteful*:
“The only problem with Baptists is that they don’t hold them underwater long enough.”*
*source: Kinky Friedman.
might be better for the 10-year-old end of the range.
This four ones sort of fit to together, so see if your kids can remeber from day to day.
Day 1: How do you get an elephant into the refridgerator? You open the door, put the elephant in, and close the door.
Day 2. How do you get a giraffe into the refridgerator? You open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe inside, and close the door.
Day 3. How do you get four elphants into a car? Two on the backseat, two on the front seat.
Day 4: How do you get four giraffes into a car? (see how many guess a repeat of day 2) You can’t - the fourth one is still stuck in the fridge!
If butt jokes are OK, how about fart jokes?
Q: What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Rabbit farts.
You: Hey I got a great knock-knock joke for you! You start it!
Kid: Knock Knock!
You: Who’s there?
Kid: ???
Gets 'em every time!
Usually told together.
Knock Knock ----- Knock Knock
Who’s There ----- Who’s There
Ether -------------- Cargo
Ether who? ------- Cargo who?
Ether Bunny ------- Car go “beep, beep”, run over Ether Bunny
And the ever popular elephant jokes:
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
How can you tell if an elephant’s been in your refrigerator?
Look for footprints in the butter.
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t get down from an elephant - you get down from a duck.
Day 5: How do you get two whales in a car?
Down the M4. 
Why are you not supposed to walk in the jungle between 2 and 4 PM?
Because the elephants are jumping out of the trees.
Why are Pygmires so short?
Because they walk in the jungle between 2 and 4.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.
Makes me giggle every time.
A man walks into a bar and says “Ouch!”
A psychiatrist goes to visit three patients at his mental hospital who are scheduled for possible release if he decides they’re well enough for the outside world. He walks into the room of the first guy and the guy is holding a toilet plunger, which he is swinging over and over again in a long, graceful arc.
“Hello there. I’m Dr. Smith. What are you doing there?”
“Well, if I get out of here, I was thinking of becoming a golfer. So I’m practicing my swing.”
“That’s great to hear.” The doctor makes a little check mark on his chart and leaves.
He then walks into the second patient’s room. This patient is holding a toilet plunger with one hand and jabbing it into the air in front of him. His other hand is on his hip.
“Well, good morning. I’m Dr. Smith. What are you doing with that?”
“If I can get out of here, I’m going to become an Olympic fencer. So I’m getting in some practice.”
“What a great idea.” The doctor again makes a little check mark on his chart and leaves.
The doctor arrives in the third patient’s room. This one is sitting cross legged, completely naked, on his bed. In front of him is a large pile of acorns. The man is taking the acorns one at a time, rubbing them vigorously on his penis, and throwing them into a pile on the floor.
“Good morning. I’m Dr. Smith. What are you doing there?”"Ah, man. I’ll never get out of here…I’m fuckin’ nuts.
What? 
You’d tell that to a 7 year old? Please Og let this be a whoosh and I’m just too dense to catch it.
Of course I wouldn’t (I have a 7 year old!). I was just kidding. 
Whew! You’ve restored my faith in humanity.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub, I’m dwowning!
How do you shoot a blue rabbit?
With a blue rabbit gun.
How do you shoot a pink rabbit?
Hold it by the neck till it turns blue then use the blue rabbit gun.
What do you get when you have 100 rabbits in a row all marching backwards?
A receding hare line.
Slightly dirty: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was trying to find Pooh.
The way I’ve heard this end is:
All of the animals in the jungle have a big meeting. Who misses it?
A: The giraffe – he’s stuck in the fridge
You come across a river known to be infested by piranha. How do you get across?
A: Just swim right across – the piranha are at the meeting.
This is one that my cousin made up
Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Hide behind a tree and make carrot noises
And this one is my friend’s 6-year-old’s favorite joke
Q. Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
A. It’s rated Arrrr!
Also I just wanted to add that the talkin muffin is my new favorite joke.