What’s big and red and eats rocks?
A big red rock-eater.
What’s big and blue and eats rocks?
A big blue rock-eater.
What’s big and green and eats rocks?
(Usually, at this point, the kids will figure out the pattern and will say “A big green rock-eater.”) Nothing … they only come in red and blue.
What did the Pink Panther say when it stepped on an ant?
Dead ant, dead ant, deadantdeadantdeadant…
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.
I got these from some website that I don’t remember:
What’s pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.
What’s blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding it’s breath.
Where do you find a one-legged dog?
Where you left it.
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Q: What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are $1.39 and Deer Nuts are under a buck!
Best told together,
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Amos
Amos who?
A Mosquito
then
Anna
Anna who?
Another mosquito
Then
Yeti
Yeti Who?
Yet another mosquito
Then
Arnie
Arnie who?
Aren’t ya glad I didn’t say mosquito?
There are websites dedicated to kids jokes - they’re the reason I don’t let my child on the internet, I can’t stand being the straightwoman.
My nephew made this one up one day:
What do you call a fish that works on Steinways?
A piano tuna.
I know, doesn’t sound like much. But he was six. And I watched/listened to the process he went through “writing” the joke. I was blown away.
I heard this one Scrubs a while back and I still get a tear in my eye:
One day a man walked into a doctor’s office and says to the doctor, “Doc, I think I’m a moth.”
The doctor goes, “You think you’re a moth? Well I don’t think you need a doctor, I think you need a psychiatrist.”
The man goes, “Yeah, I know.”
The doctor looks at him, puzzled, for a moment. “Then why did you come in here?”
“'Cause the light was on.”
Two snowmen standing in a field, the first says “Do you smell carrots?”
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
(hold the child’s hand, palm up, take his thumb, and as you place it in his palm):
Mommy brought the new baby home and put him it in its crib. The brothers and sisters gathered around to see. The mother told each of them
(hold each finger in turn)
Don’t touch the baby!
Don’t touch the baby!
Don’t touch the baby!
Don’t touch the baby!
Where’s the baby?
(the child will touch his thumb with his free hand)
Don’t touch the baby!
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove]
(hold the child’s hand, palm up, take his thumb, and as you place it in his palm):
Mommy brought the new baby home and put him it in its crib. The brothers and sisters gathered around to see. The mother told each of them
(hold each finger in turn)
Don’t touch the baby!
Don’t touch the baby!
Don’t touch the baby!
Don’t touch the baby!
Where’s the baby?
(the child will touch his thumb with his free hand)
Don’t touch the baby!
[/QUOTE]
I don’t know about 7-10, but my three year old is going to laugh her little head off when I try this one on her. 
What do you call a fish with no eye?
?
?
?
A ffsshhhh!
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, my brother thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor says, “Well, bring him to see me and I’m sure we can set him straight.”
The man says, “I would, but we need the eggs.”
[QUOTE=Rysto]
The way I’ve heard this end is:
All of the animals in the jungle have a big meeting. Who misses it?
A: The giraffe – he’s stuck in the fridge
You come across a river known to be infested by piranha. How do you get across?
A: Just swim right across – the piranha are at the meeting.
Reply With Quote
[/QUOTE]
Hah! I heard it that way too, and just couldn’t remember the last two, so posted an alternative version. Figures someone here would get it right.
Who was the tallest President?
Dwight D. Eiffeltower.
OK- here are some to fit the bill (sorry if any are repeats- I didn’t read the whole thread).
Q. What has four legs and one arm?
A. A rotweiller
Q. What’s the difference between mashed potatos and pea soup?
A. Anyone can mash potatos…
Q. How much do pirates pay for their earings?
A. A buccanear
Q. What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A carrot
Q. If you’re an American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out of the bathroom what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
A. European
Well, you asked… 
I didn’t see it in this thread yet…
A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender calls out “Hey, where are your buccaneers?”
“Under my bucking hat!”
What 7 letters did Garfield say when he opened the fridge for a snack?
“O I C U R M T”
(I used to think that was really clever when I was a kid!)
Mommy, Mommy why do I keep running in circles?
Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.