Do you like people?

In My Humble Opinion
1

How do you feel about people? I’m not talking about the moral value of human life or anything like that. I’m just talking about the visceral experience of being a human among other humans.

[ul][li]Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?[/li]
[li]Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?[/li]
[li]Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?[/ul][/li]My answers:
[ul][li]I’m very self-conscious when meeting new people. I tend to instantly assume they dislike me. So meeting new people is rarely a pleasant experience for me.[/li]
[li]I assume the worst of people until they earn my trust. My trust is hard to earn, and once it’s earned, it can evaporate very easily.[/li]
I don’t want to feel this way about people. Intellectually I know that people are better than my gut feelings give them credit for. I’m honest and moral and trustworthy, and it stands to reason that other people are like me. I believe it would benefit me to have more faith in other people than I do.[/ul]

2

No not really. I have little to no desire to talk to other people.

Nah I don’t really trust em till I get to know em

Works for me. People usually leave me alone and that makes me happy.

3

*Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?

As a whole? No. But they seem to like meeting me and I have this weird [inherited] social belief in people, so I do my best to be nice to them.

*Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?

Yes, I trust people. Far too much. Sometimes I get dissapointed and therefore depressed. Most of the times my trust is well worth it.

*Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?

They serve me well enough. I don’t think I’d like being suspicious of people. I rather get hurt now and then, than assume the worst in everyone.
NB: I don’t particulary care for human kind. I just think we ought to make the best of what we have.

4

I hate people. They suck.

5

I don’t mind meeting people, I can be personable with the best of them. But I don’t go around looking for lots of friends.

I don’t generally distrust all people, but I am wary of what I say or how close I allow them to get until they prove to be trustworthy. I seem to have known a lot of people whom I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw them. They say one thing and do another behind your back. My bullshit detector usually works, except on those people who have figured out a way to get around it; not just with me, but everyone else they meet, too. Some people are just like that. I also have lots of stuff that people like to steal. For that reason, almost no one is welcome in my house unless they prove themselves worthy of my trust. I’ll go to your place, but you have to be special to come over to mine.

This works pretty well for me.

6

I wish I loved the human race
I wish I loved its silly face
I wish I like the way it walked
I wish I liked the way it talked
And when I’m introduced to one
I wish I though “Whay jolly fun”.

7

Do you like meeting people?

Not really - I can take it or leave it.

Do you trust people…

To an extent. I do get instant feelings about people, and base my trust on it. That instinct has served me very well in the past.

In general, however, I agree with Smeghead, in that people suck and as a whole, I don’t like them.
(Present company excepted, o’course. :slight_smile: )

8

Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?

I wish I could meet more. In reality I am painfully shy until I feel comfortable around someone. (Og help you if you do get me talking, however!)
Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?

I don’t trust people right away, because I don’t assume they like me right away. The moment someone snubs me or treats me as inferior to them, I clam up so as not to “offend” anyone anymore. I don’t get angry, I just feel embarrassed for myself.
I had a lot of friends at my old workplace, and have been told that once I open up and feel at ease with my surroundings, I’m “charismatic” (if I’m comfortable enough, I will greet new people and try to make them laugh, winking at them and being quite friendly!), easy-going, very open and pretty frank without being nasty, “clever” and utterly silly. But all it takes is for one person to tell me I am an immature fool, and I will feel bad and embarrassed. I don’t want to offend anyone, even if they deserve it. I can’t help myself.
Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?

I wish I could be “on” all the time. I think people are more deserving, and one person in a bunch shouldn’t ruin it for me. I wish I could stop worrying about treading on other people’s toes, especially since, at least once in a while, it’s going to happen. And you know, I know this, but I can’t seem to stop being so worried. I don’t even take the insults too personally - I feel bad that I “offended” the offender in some way! They could be the haughtiest, nastiest old snob that ever lived, and I’d worry to death that I somehow caused them enough annoyance that they had to voice it - even if everyone in the world annoyed them, I’d feel terrible.

I love people. Too much.

9

Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?

I kind of like meeting new people. But about 9 times out of 10 I end up saying to myself, “What in the hell have I gotten myself into this time?”.

Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?

I trust no one, not even myself.

Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?

I would like to meet more interesting, nice people. Does anyone know where they are hiding them all?

10
  • Do you like people?

No. I find most people annoying. I like nerds almost exclusively. Most people have no interest in my job (and many will ask why would I choose to become an engineer, being “such a nice girl”), but expect me to want to know every little thing about theirs. I’m sick of being cursed for “being one of those horrible people who do clonation” by people who think genetic engineering is done by chemical engineers and of being asked “oh my God, so you make viruses?!” when I say I like computers.

  • Do you like meeting people?

No. See above.

  • Do you trust people?

Yes. I have had some very nasty experiences, but the way I see it, being paranoid is way too tiring and would keep me from enjoying the Real Nice People. I’m asocial, not antisocial.

  • Does it pay?

Yes. It’s even helped me at work: I have often been able to get good results from workers whom other people had deemed “impossibly lazy” by 1) assuming they were dumb, not lazy, until proven otherwise and 2) giving them an ego boost “listen, I know this is hard, but with enough time we can do it, now let’s try it again”.
Most people work/behave better when they don’t want to “fail you”. (I said most, yes, I know exceptions)

11

Do you like people?

I don’t really, no, but I do think that everyone should be treated with a certain amount of respect until they prove that they do not deserve it. Ironically, I like entertaining: making sure everyone has a drink and likes the meal and music and whatever entertainment follows and precedes.

Do you trust them?

I often expect more of them than they can deliver. I trust that most of the people that I meet have decent moral character, but that doesn’t neccesarily mean that I want to be around them.

Is this attitude beneficial?

Well, my father is very short with people in the service industry, so all my life I have compensated for that, meaning I am very polite and friendly with waitstaff, etc. And as I said before, I like entertaining and have been told I am good at it, so at least on a very superficial level it works for me. I do, at times, wish I had more friends, but it would never work out between me and most of the people I meet.

12

Do you like people?
Yes, but I’m not a “people person.” I like to be around them more than I like interacting with them, unless they’re friends.

Do you like meeting people?
Usually not. Partly this is because I tend to forget names almost immediately, which can be a little awkward. Also, I’m not good at introductory small talk. But sometimes I meet people who are fun to talk to right off the bat, and then I really enjoy myself.

Do you trust people?
I don’t think I’m geared trust being something I pay much attention to. It used to be a big deal to me, but not anymore. Perhaps it’s because I trust my wife so completely that that’s all I need in the trust department. Anyway, I just take people as they present themselves to me, but don’t give much thought to the issue of trusting them. There are two instances where this is untrue:

  • In a work environment, where I have to know if I’m dealing with any of a number of irritating types of people. In those instances, I’m very cautious.
  • I’m also very cautious with people my children hang around with, especially my son. Both my kids have messed up friends, but my son is the only one who’s likely to let them mess him up.

Do these instincts serve you well?
I seem to do okay.

13

Do you like people?
Yep. Sometimes the “general public” is annoying – movie theatre experiences, etc. – but on the whole I think that people are pretty cool. I guess I could be considered a “people person.”

Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?
Yes, I like meeting people. I don’t know that I can say “why,” except that I tend to get along with most folks. I don’t always seek out new people to meet, but I’m generally up for it when an opportunity arises.

Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?
I do trust people, in a general sense. I’m not going to go around telling everyone my darkest secrets, but I take people at their word and assume the best until proven otherwise. I’m big with giving the benefit of the doubt, too.

Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?
Like kelly5078 said, I seem to do okay. I don’t keep track of how many folks disappoint me, but I don’t feel like it happens often enough for me to change my approach to people. Or maybe it does, but I just don’t care. :slight_smile:

14

In general, no. It’s so much work! You have to remember people’s names, and keep a conversation going, and if you can’t find anything interesting to talk about you have to come up with stupid small talk or listen to them blather on about something boring. I’ve been working on basic social skills like, “Meeting New People,” and “Making Polite Conversation,” and I don’t hate unfamiliar social situations as much as I used to, but overall, I find it terribly exhausting.

If I’m meeting people in a context where I know we have common interests and will have something to talk about, usually that’s okay. If it’s just a thing where some friends of mine want to meet their friends with whom I have nothing in common, then, bleh, I’d rather just spend time by myself or with friends.

I hate parties unless I already know the majority of people at the party.

I guess I’d say that I trust people, in that I assume that they’re decent, upright folk. If they turn out not to be, I drop them like a hot rock and (as much as possible) have nothing more to do with them. I have plently of decent, upright friends; I don’t need to waste my time on jerks. It seems like a lot of handwringing about trust issues seem to come from people who give second and third and fourth chances. Why? If someone can’t do something as basic as keeping their word, why are you bothering with them?

I really don’t get why “trust” is such a huge deal. I guess that means that I usually put my trust in people who deserve it, so I don’t get burned often.

15

[QUOTE]
[ul][li]Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]

I like meeting people, one or two at a time, not in large numbers. I like hearing what other people think, and sharing humor with them, or talking about mutual interests. I like to listen, but I also like to share ideas on a subject that is new to a person. Too many people at once overwhelm me though.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li]Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]

I trust people warily at first. I assume the best, and I’m usually right. Sometimes I get a feeling that I shouldn’t give them too much “trust” because they strike me as a user type, so I’m more wary around them, and keep interaction at a surface level. As I get to know the person better, I often offer more trust. Sometimes I’ll back away from the person though, if I see behaviors (like lying, stealing, pushiness, or backstabbing of others) that make me feel that I’d better not let my gaurd down.

[QUOTE]
[ul][li]Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]

Yes, these instincts serve me well, with some (notable) exceptions. I am still working on forgiving myself for trusting my abusive ex husband. For the most part, it’s pretty balanced as far as how much trust I offer. It varies with the person, and as time goes on I usually give more trust. (Trust to me involves giving of yourself, letting your gaurd down and being vunerable. I’ve been burned, so I’m wary but hopeful.) When I make a true friend, it’s for life.

16

Do you like meeting people? Sometimes, although I rarely seek people out for that purpose.

Do you trust people? No, not really. I try to avoid worrying about whether or not people are being truthful. My gut instinct is that people lie a lot. I don’t care much about it, though. I’m willing to tolerate anything short of direct harm to me or someone close to me. Almost everyone has something about them that is interesting.

  • Do these instincts serve you well … * I think so. I’d like to answer differently, but you know, reality is too fucking real. People are not, in general, good. I am convinced I’ll never meet a genuinely good person. I’ll never know what I didn’t know, and I would always suspect that there was something fundamentally wrong with that individual.

Good idea for a thread, btw…

17

Thank you all for your responses. I figured they would place people in one of four categories:

  1. People who dislike others because they believe others deserve to be disliked. (treis, Smeghead, lillyann, Podkayne, ninetypercent)

  2. People who don’t believe others deserve to be disliked, and would like to have a more positive attitude toward other people, but find it difficult. (me, Anastaseon)

  3. People who like others because they believe that others deserve to be liked. (misnomer, Zabali_Clawbane)

  4. People who like others, but only because they can’t help it, and wish they didn’t like or trust people so much. (gum)

The rest of you fall somewhere in between, I suppose. In real life, I observe that people in category 3 are the happiest and most well-adjusted among us. I most identified with Anastaseon’s post, but I would do anything to have an attitude more like misnomer’s.

18

[ul][li]Do you like meeting people? If so, why, and if not, why not?[/li]
Yes, but I get nervous arround people I find attractive. Because you allways learn something from everyone you meet.

[li]Do you trust people? Do you assume the best of people until they disappoint you, or do you assume the worst of people until they prove themselves worthy of your trust?[/li]
I readily trust people. I find giving people your trust tends to make them react and act more trustworthy.

[li]Do these instincts serve you well, or would you like to be able to answer the above questions differently? In other words, are people more deserving of your confidence than your emotions will allow, or less deserving?[/ul][/li]
I am usually a good judge of people, and am very open with my feelings so people tend to feel safe arround me. I have only once had someone completely fool my judgement as to whether they were a decent person or not.

19

You stole my answer. You suck.

20

eh? derserve to be disliked? Wait a second. I don’t think that! True, my view of other people is cynical. I don’t have to search very hard to find failings in people. That is because I have so many of my own to refer to. I could not relate to someone who did not share some of them. I say that I have never met a good person and never will, but the same applies in reverse. I have never met a truly evil person and probably never will.