Do you think sexual tension usually only exists in the mind of one of the individuals involved?

I hope my question makes sense. What I mean is, whenever I feel some sort of sexual tension between me and another individual, I feel like there’s this enormous elephant in the room and that it must be noticeable to everyone (or at least the object of said feeling).

I know it’s so childish for me to be thinking, “Hmm…does so and so have the hots for me?” and reading into actions that probably only have meaning in my imagination.

I just can’t help but wonder if they feel it too, or if I’m just completely bananas.

When in doubt, it’s one-sided. I’d say it’s relatively rare for someone to be attracted to someone who is also attracted to him/her. Think about all the people you’ve ever been attracted to. Now what percentage of those people are also attracted to you? Not a very high percentage, probably. It’s just mathematics.

Sorry. I was only staring at you because you have broccoli stuck in your teeth.

This depends on who you are. A less-attractive-than average man might have had hundreds of totally one-sided attractions. While I’ve only been attracted to a handful of men in my life, all of them who I actually knew personally (and some I didn’t who made it obvious) were attracted to me too. But I’m an attractive young woman, things are totally different for me than for many people, especially men.

I’ve also been the disinterested party in plenty of one-sided attractions, and I’ve always had some sort of sense that the other person was feeling that way (and tried my very best to discourage it) long before it came out into the open, to my embarrassment.

So my answer to the OP is, it just depends. I trust my instincts, they’re almost always proven correct. I don’t feel like it’s obvious to other people when I think someone’s cute, but I’ve got a good poker face (long as I don’t try to outright lie). Sometimes it’s obvious to them when someone likes me though.

I’ve linked to this arc before, and I’ll probably link to it again. Episode 25 (the strip after the one I linked to) is a one off, but keep clicking “Next” until you get to the strip called “The Last Resort”. I’ve seen a lot of this sort of thinking going on. Usually it’s males who think that some female desperately wants them…but sometimes it’s females who are under the delusion that they’re irresistible.

Second date. After dinner and a movie, we end up talking over desert. I blurt out “I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Turns out she’d been stalking me at work for a few years before that.

Happily married for six years now.

Haha that’s funny Lynn,**** and that’s a nice happy ending Darth Nader.****

Maybe I just feel this way because I’m bored from not dating for a while. I seem to attract weird guys (who are DEFINITELY hitting on me, nothing in my imagination there) and I went to a college with mostly gay men, so aside from that and being incredibly absorbed in my work I’ve just been too uninterested/busy to date, so maybe this is my subconscious telling me to go out and meet a decent dude.

I started this OP because I feel like there’s this odd tension between my boss and I, but maybe that’s just because I’m naturally shy around people I don’t know very well and he’s not very talkative and that’s what’s creating the awkwardness.

I’m the only girl on a team of guys and I fit in with them really well and I don’t think there’s any weirdness with the rest of them. My boss is the only one who seems regard me as being “girly” though, in the sense that he’ll make comments about not wanting to get stuff on my clothes. The only other girl (she’s a contract employee and is rarely in, which is why I referred to myself as the “only girl”) is his girlfriend and the one time I had any significant contact with her she told me that I was like a female version of him.

I don’t know…I’m probably blowing this out of proportion. I just thought of this because he semi-frequently texts me or asks me to call him about something “important” related to work, and then I do…and it’s nothing important. But then I also get the feeling that he dislikes me because he won’t chat with me like the other guys do.

I’d say it depends. But when you guess wrong, it’s pretty awkward

Wow, I only realized that was Felicity Huffman when I heard her voice.