It’s healthy until the moment it’s not. By which I mean, it’s healthy until she begins to have an issue with it that deteriorates her quality of life. If she’s happy with who she is in spite of her repressed sexuality (which she seems to be, given how she conducts herself in interviews / on the track / etc), then who’s to say it’s an issue for her? It’s quite possible to be a happy virgin.
Look, you said virginity is not a psychological problem because maybe she’s just too obsessed with athletics to socialize with her peers, or maybe she’s just gay and can’t admit that to herself. Both of those things,* if true*, would indicate psychological issues. If they’re not true, then they don’t apply.
Nobody said anything about stupid (wtf?) or “psychologically ill”. Everyone has psychological issues, it’s not some extreme term to use. But a 30-year-old who is, according to her, working* so hard *to try to remain a virgin has got some pretty big hangups.
And I’m not saying she’s not as happy as the next person or that this one issue is ruining her life, but I don’t think being a prostitute is a psychologically ideal way to live one’s life and I don’t think fixating on your virginity is either.
That is definitely a Canadian thing. I was raised the same way. Where did you grow up?
I’ve thought about it a bit more and I think it is possible for her to bring up her virginity and it NOT be a “look at me” kind of thing. Some women and men DO want to remain virgins for some period of their life. And some are not by choice as well. And for that matter I think there is a lot of social pressure to NOT be a virgin and or have sex earlier than some folks want/are ready for.
So, I suppose one could say she is trying to be a role model for those people. That it is okay to be a virgin. You can do it if you want to for whatever reason you have. You aren’t some loser freak if you are a virgin. Your life can be fun and exciting and rewarding even if you aren’t shagging 24/7. That sex can wait. Its up to you to decide when and where and fuck (heh) everyone else.
Now, maybe she’s just a attention whore with sexual hang ups. But if that is the message she is putting out there I don’t think its neccessarily a bad one.
I suppose, but posingin the nude (non-frontal) for a sports magazine as she has done is not something you usually associate with a devout woman trying to lead a chaste lifestyle.
Anything is possible, but at some point you tend to raise an eyebrow.
I doubt psychological problems are usually the reason either, and I feel my lack of cite is as good as yours.
In Lolo Jones’s particular case she apparently considers remaining a virgin until marriage to be something her religion requires of her, and I don’t see why you feel the need to look for other explanations. While I personally feel waiting until marriage is kind of stupid, it’s not something Jones just made up on her own. A number of Christian denominations in the US place a lot of emphasis on the importance of being a virgin on your wedding night.
But that photograph is of an athlete, not … cheesecake. It’s the quintessential anti-beach volley ball shot.
As one who is not chaste, devout, or athletic, I see nothing in the photo that implies the subject is none of these.
(Do they still call it cheesecake?)
Its quite possible to decide to hold off on the shagging yet still not be ashamed of your body if you are more logical than irrationally religious about it all. Now if she was doing some seriously "nasty’ photo spreads or faking some porn movies I think you’d have a better point.
Religious beliefs and hangups go together like religious beliefs and hangups.
The whole point here is that the fact that she’s a virgin is being held out as worthy of admiration, so yeah, obviously a lot of people in this majority-Christian country think that’s so awesome, and that’s because our society has a lot of fucking hangups about sex. The fact that religious beliefs are a main cause of those hangups does not negate that.
Before I saw the explanation, I thought it was deliberate: Pain in Not the Ass, i.e., pain in the balls. I thought you were speculating that she is a tease.
Just to be clear here, are you saying that it is impossible that a devout Christian woman could possibly wish to remain a virgin until marriage for purely religious reasons and that she must additionally have psychological “issues” or “hangups” relating to sex?
I think the view of sex in most if not all Christian religions is one big hangup. Not all people who consider themselves Christians follow it of course, most don’t…but someone who is devout enough to not have sex before marriage? Yeah, hangup.
And again, most people do have some issues about sex at some point. It would be hard not to in this society (and in many other societies).
Among devout Christians, I think there are two views about extramarital sex: one, sex is a beautiful gift from God and a holy experience that ought not be diminished by casual use, and the other that sex, like all bodily pleasures, is an inherently dirty and shameful practice (especially for women) and that marriage is an attempt to give a shell of respectability because humans are too weak to resist it entirely (better to marry than to burn).
I agree that the latter is a “hangup” and a blueprint for an unhappy marriage. But the picture astro linked to really suggests that she’s probably more of the former school: she doesn’t seem to be ashamed of having a body, and I could quite easily believe that she sees the body and it’s capabilities as a holy thing, not something to be shared casually.
In theory, maybe. In practice, eh…I don’t think it really works that way. If you really really really don’t want your kid (or some other kid you have influence over) to have sex until they’re married, well I’ve never seen that done without using shame and guilt as tools. You need to really indoctrinate them strongly or it’s not going to be enough to outweigh teens’ impulsive and horny nature. Otherwise they’ll probably just act now and repent later.
Besides, how can you even begin to teach a kid who may be gay that marriage is the only way, and that if you’re gay you can’t get married, without using shame? Even if your kid turns out to be straight you’ll still have to expose them to shame about sexuality, just in case.
The terminology really started after 2000 and has lasted us this long so I don’t see any going back now.
Right, posing nude so your nude picture can be published internationally is not very casual at all.
And a nude pic is just like a penis in a vagina! Who knew?
Honestly, I know liberal Christians who would consider two gay people married if they had a ceremony and considered themselves married, regardless of the state’s recognition of that status. And while I think it’s pretty rare for liberal Christians to be hard line “no-sex until you are married”, I think it’s very common for them to be “no casual sex, no early sex, no sex without deep love and commitment”. It’s not my own view, but I think it’s pretty understandable and I wouldn’t dismiss those kinds of beliefs as being inherently rooted in shame.
I’ve known plenty of Christians who are against extra-marital sex but do not seem to be fixated on sex as shameful: you need to spend more time talking to old ladies.
Okay, but are they against it in the sense of really, honestly not doing it, or doing it anyway and then justifying it as not that bad cuz they were in luv, and then after you’re married anyway you regret your sordid past, but hey, what’s done is done? Because that way is awfully convenient, and that’s what I usually see.
All the old church ladies I know (mostly friends’ moms and grandmas), that I know whether or not they had sex before marriage, they did. They’re nominally against it, but they know their kids and grandkids are all doing it too and probably never expected otherwise.
If you have a few kids and you don’t raise them to believe sex is sinful and bad, then even if you have one oddball, they’re not going to all wait until marriage. Even if you do, they still probably won’t all. Anyway, that’s my experience from Catholic school. Almost all of us have had sex before marriage. Maybe not the one who became a priest though.
In terms of “seems strange,” though, wouldn’t most of the hard-core “No sex until marriage” types still find it a bit strange not to be married by 30?