I would much rather be female.
I can’t stand the machismo game that men play all the time, I have no interest in cars or football, and hanging out with leering idiots for whom engaging conversation consists of the phrase “check out those tits/ass/legs” accompanied by copious leering and the expectation that I do the same is pretty much the definition of hell. Oh yes, and cars. And football. Testosterone poisoning is real.
Even if I’m mostly in female company, being male means you just can’t be “one of the girls”. I’ll never be able to join in on the internet shopping sprees, talk about girl stuff, and the worst part is the “reverse exclusion”, that I have to keep quiet when they talk about “unspeakable” things (at least they’re comfortable enough to talk about waxing outings when I’m around) because anything - ANYTHING I say will be layered with a sexual subtext. When you titter nervously and apologise about subjecting me to talk about shaving your hoohaa, believe me, I’m silent for your benefit, not mine. And sharing food… hah. Wanting a taste of your cream cheese bagel isn’t just wanting a taste of your cream cheese bagel, there must be some hidden HORNY MALE agenda.
Men’s fashion is pretty much a moot point. “Acceptable” styles of clothing number about 3, there are about 6 men’s shoes in toto which mens’ shoe manufacturers have been feebly trying to replicate in minutely differing shades of brown. When pleated and non-pleated actually constitute a major change in style, you know even trying is pointless. In any event nobody cares about what you’re wearing anyway, so why bother?
Oriental men’s bodies are just fugly anyway. I know there are good looking caucasian men - the average whitey guy looks more decent than not. But chinese guys like me, less than 5 in a hundred even look /decent/. Sure, I’m being shallow, but nobody - and I mean nobody - ever checks out chinese men. You argue that nobody ever checks out ugly girls, either, well, even a plain jane can turn heads with proper makeup and clothes. The best chinese men can shoot for is “not skeevy”. I’ve never felt sexy in my life, never received a second look. And we’re not supposed to care about it, but I do.
When I see a hot woman nowadays, I like to look at the other people. Beats staring daggers at her for being beautiful. Without fail, you see men and women turning their heads in what they must think is an inconspicuous manner, craning their necks, pretending to be reading a sign on the wall behind… you can tell where the hot woman is by looking at where the gazes of everyone else intersect. Once, just once in my life, I’d like to know what being that hot woman feels like. But a man… a man is either invisible, or ridiculed.
To top it off, I’m a terrible guy. I don’t have any hunting instinct at all, meek and submissive are my middle names, and I’d rather much have the ability to get along with people than understand differential equations. That wouldn’t be so bad, except for the EXPECTATIONS that come free with every Y chromosome. Sexism isn’t a one way street - there are plenty of expectations on men too. You have to be the provider, you have to make the decisions, you can’t drink a strawberry margarita without COMMENTS (never positive), even if you FUCKING HATE BEER.
The worst part about being male is when your body betrays you. When you know that you’re being a fucking boor because you’ve been around enough females to be sensitive to it, but you don’t realise you’re doing it until you see the tell tale reactions around you… and you realise that yes, you are indeed male, and your fuckups are legion.
Yes, women occasionally get can neurotic, and female relationships can get a bit herdish and shadowy, but if by science or magic I could become biologically female, I would think LONG and HARD about it, and the only reason why I wouldn’t would be for the sake of my SO.
I was seriously thinking of going back to school for my PhD so I could teach but I don’t want to invest that time and money to be stuck working part time. I will have to do some additional research it seems.
