Here’s the basic setup. Mary and I work together at an advertising agency, although in different departments. We are both of the same approximate age, mid 30’s. I am married, but going through a separation/potential divorce (amicable, yet very sad and tough). She is happily married, with two young children.
Over the past several months, we have become very much friends. We share quite a lot of intimate (emotional, not sexual) detail with each other, although more me than her. For both of us, it’s almost a necessity to sit and chat first thing in the morning (to the point where something seems missing when we can’t), and usually later in the afternoon. We laugh a lot together.
Needless to say, I am extremely attracted to her. From an objective perspective, she’s pretty, yet nothing another person would go “wow”. From my perspective, she’s beautiful. However, as attractive as she is, for a number of reasons I could never go forward with any kind of intimate contact/relationship - but that doesn’t mean I don’t daydream of being able to kiss her.
So…I have no idea how to read our situation. How do I read things like the following:
I bring her a cup of coffee from Starbucks. She says “God, that’s great, I could just kiss you.” <pause> “But what would people around us think?”
One morning, late in the a.m., I’m talking with my boss in my office and she comes by. I jokingly berate her for not saying hello earlier that morning, and she says “What do you want me to do, come sit on your lap and give you a smooch in the morning?”
We’re talking about not being motivated for work. I ask her “How can we get motivated?” She says “Well, nudity would help.”
Now, it’s not like these three things happened within a week. And there have been hundreds of conversations with nothing (seemingly) untoward being said. And she has said things like “I depend so much on my husband”. And I know she absolutely loves her kids. There has never been any sign that she doesn’t love her husband/family. But we do have a great time together (last week we went to see a movie together - but don’t read anything into that, other people from work were invited but couldn’t make it).
What it boils down to is I’ve never been any good at all at reading signs/interpreting male-female relationships. I tend to become much closer to females than males as friends, but the whole sexual dynamic always drives me nuts.
So…what’s your take on this? I’m not asking on how to move forward or not, or the morals of the situation. I’m asking…what would you think is going on?