Yep. Cat licking is not exactly the height of eroticism.
I’ve used lines as bad as the ones in this thread, but never with any serious intent. If she’s laughing so hard after I say something like that that we have to stop for a minute, then I’ve succeeded.
And they always pick the most distracting moment to start licking the bottom of your foot, for example.
One picture I saw in the Hustler store downtown would beg to differ. :eek:
Does a severely bipolar/borderline personality disorder girlfriend petulantly whining, “Sleeeeeep with meeeeeee!” count as dorky? Or just sad and pathetic? (I never did sleeeeeeep with her, and I’m glad.)
Not something that she has said, but on several occasions I have used something along the lines of “Shall we shatter the commandments?” Which I imagine is dorky in its own right, but even more so when you realize that it is a reference to the movie The Lion in Winter.
Another one that Alistair McCello has used recently was just a wee bit more “dorky” than the previous. It was: “You had Algebra in eighth grade too?! Let’s have sex!”
(Based upon an xkcd comic, which I am too lazy to search for right now. Most of you probably know what I’m referencing anyway, being the nerds that Dopers are. 
)
Generally speaking I usually just start acting and talking like Zap Brannigan. It usually works, at least after she stops laughing.
Also, the line “I want to put my pee-pee in your hoo-hoo” is way more effective than it should be.
More than one xkcd comic, and I believe the line should be, “Clearly we should have sex.” 
Must…resist…must not ask…
Oh, hell…WHICH two out of three??
…damn, I’m such a pig…
Not an SO, just some guy at a party…
“You’ve got it all, the hair, the personality, the tits, everything.”
A guy I used to date once insinuated that he’d like some anal by asking,
“Mind if I drop anchor in Poo Bay?”
On our first date, my husband-to-be was totally trying to score. We were making out like horny teenagers with nowhere to go. I knew where he was heading, but wasn’t interested in screwing it on the frist date. He must have thought that I was ooged out by being in the same house as my mom (I was paying rent!), and he ended up saying something like, “We can go back to my place - my parents are on a cruise.”*
It took every thing I had not to completely bust a gut laughing at that moment. Eight years later, I still poke fun at him sometimes.
*He had been living with his parents for a few months after a bad break-up, but was in the process of getting an apartment. I did know that at the time, but it didn’t make it any less hilarious.
This was just said to me yesterday by my wife. Keep in mind that she is currently at that time of the month.
“Hey baby, I’ll rock your world… or at least tonight maybe give it a little nudge.”
Heh, thanks for falling on that grenade, dude!
'cuz I was kinda curious, too…
A Trekker of my acquaintence once responded to what I thought of as a diffident caress, perhaps to be emboldened by a receptive response by pulling away from me and asking, “Are you attempting to initiate sexual intercourse?”
“Uh, yeah.”
She replied, “Very well, remove your clothes.”
I had not seen the relevant episode to appreciate the humor of the situation. I did respond though. I take direction well.
Tris
Oh, good, you mentioned Star Trek.
Now I can add…
‘‘I’ll violate YOUR prime directive!’’
Oh, yeah, I did once offer to nurture a woman’s ego, if she would only succor my id.
It didn’t go well.
Tris