Okay, so my boytoy completely ripped out my heart and stomped that sucker flat on Saturday. He called (not even brave enough to face me!) and gave me the three classic breakup cliches:
[li]It’s not you it’s me,[/li][li]I don’t know what I want,[/li][li]and Let’s just be friends.[/li][/ul]
So that crashed and burned. Then today, while sitting in the library, this dude (whom we shall call Zoey) whom I’ve met once before, came up and started talking to me. Zoey is an odd guy, and I mean odd. He’s got this way about him that completely throws everybody off their rhythm. He flusters me and I don’t fluster easy.
“You were the one flirting with me last week,” he says.
“I was the one laughing at you last week,” I tell him.
So he asks me about my boyfriend. “He left me,” I tell him honestly. Zoey is blunt, like me. “Tell me about it,” he says, and I do. We talk for a while, he’s very witty and confident. “Okay,” he says finally, “did you sleep with him?”
“I was looking forward to it. You know that old saying about how a woman knows in the first five minutes of meeting a guy whether she’ll ever sleep with him?”
“Yeah,” says Zoey.
“Well it’s true. I’d have slept with him.”
“Would you sleep with me?” he asks. I eye him up-and-down. He’s good-looking and definitely appealing. I decide I just might and tell him so.
“Well, then, why don’t we?” he says and I start laughing.
“I barely know you.”
“I’ll be honest. I’m not looking for a girlfriend. But you’re hot. And I’d rather not take you around to a few dinners, get you to thinking I love you, and then sleep with you. I’d just really like to hook up with you. So what do you think?”
I laugh some more but am a little tempted. I’ve never done anything that crazy. “If I did, I’d regret it. I’d only be doing it to hurt my ex, and he’ll never know about it, so what’s the point?”
“C’mon,” Zoey says, rolling his eyes. “You’re in college, live a little. You’d really enjoy it, I can tell. I could take you back home right now and blow your mind.”
“You think so, huh?”
“I know so. Just say yes or no.”
Part of me is tempted, but I’m emotionally unstable at the mo’ and occasionally stupid when it comes to men. Zoey’s brutal honesty about wanting to hook-up is actually rather appealing – lots of guys would declare their undying love, screw my brains out, and then never call, but he doesn’t play. I decide to err on the side of caution and say no."
This pisses him off a little but he scrawls down his phone number and passes it to me. “Call me if you change your mind.” I’m wearing a dress and don’t have any pockets, so I tuck it between my skin and my panties. He leaves. I’m still flustered. He’s an oddly hypnotic human being and I’m both flattered, repulsed, terrified and somewhat turned on. Am debating calling him for a hook up. If I do it won’t be for a while – I don’t want to do it on a breakup funk and then regret it later.
Just had to share. Damn.