Educated achieving women dating

In My Humble Opinion
81

Me too, it’s the best! I also have done some tutoring and am coaching math team at my kids’ school and when it’s good it’s really good. There are a couple of kids who can behaviorally be a handful, and coupled with my class management skills being nonexistent, sometimes that’s not quite as fun, but seeing them light up when they get something they didn’t get before is just so great.

My secret weapon response to this is to ask, “Hmm! What do you think will happen if you don’t brush your teeth?” Sometimes the kid will engage with it as an actual question and then you get to see the kid’s mind working, which is always super fun. Sometimes the kid is just asking to be silly and will respond with “Maybe my mouth will explode!” and that’s fun too. :slight_smile:

Mostly same. There are SO MANY things that I want to do (writing! investing! arranging music! taking metalwork classes!) but don’t have time to do as much as I would have liked, or have stopped doing. Mostly I have a lot of little things, no grand plan, because I have a lot of things I’m interested in but no one thing that I’m really into. While I enjoy my job, it’s not really my identity and I don’t love it enough that I don’t want to retire.

It’s true though that I’ll probably do some kind of tutoring/teaching when I retire if I have the energy. (But I don’t anticipate I would want more than 1-2 students.) Something that I’ve realized in the past few years that I would be very interested in doing is curriculum development for my kids’ tiny startup school (assuming they’re still around at that point), because they really need someone and I already spend a bunch of time thinking about the school curriculum on my own. But maybe I won’t be so interested once my kids are no longer at this school…

My dad was the kind of person who didn’t really have an identity outside of work, but when he retired he decided he’d funnel all that into playing golf and staying in shape. And it’s kind of amazing – my dad is the physically healthiest person in his 80’s I’ve ever seen!

82

I was like that as a kid (as an adult, I can make those queries sound more professional!).

Unfortunately (?), my folks had limited educations (I’m not sure if they both graduated high school!). So, it was relatively easy for me to exhaust their knowledge of ANY subject in short order.

Once I learned to read, they resorted to buying/borrowing books and letting (>) me teach myself. (In school, it was equally frustrating for my teachers. They adopted a similar apporach – independant study, etc.)

And, bought things like erector set, lego, ELECTRON (? a sort of lego for electronics).

The daughter of the across the street neighbor used to babysit me. She bought me an “Invisible Woman” – a scale model that you could disassemble and see how all the organs fit together, etc.

What’s your fallback? I.e., what would you do if you suffered from macular degeneration? Diabetic retinopathy? etc. Do you think you could adapt to dictating stories?

[Shit happens. We lost a friend to ALS. I can’t imagine how I would react to such a diagnosis, regardless of my age!]

83

Of course, thats’ true.

But I can’t help but remembering the look on my thesis advisor’s face when a friend of mine (who also had him as an advisor) told him he had accepted a SALES position after graduation. Attending an engineering school seemed to imply you would follow an engineering occupation!

Investing 50? years in the workforce seems to suggest you should want to make BETTER use of “your” time, now that it’s truly yours!

Why not get paid WITH BENEFITS for it? A neighbor quit his job as a CPA. Then went on to do odd jobs as a CPA at less effective pay. Why not stay and build on your vacation awards, retirement accounts, etc.

(Of course, this is a personal decision. I’m just commenting from observation)

And folks are still debating whether or not to continue wearing masks and get vaccinations???

My other half thought about doing that. Having experience with several such organizations, I strongly advised against it. “If you thought WORK was dysfunctional, wait until you see the dysfunction in UNPAID work!”

Your choice, of course. I realize that I have special skills and think it “sinful” not to do something with them, without a profit motive. So, I have been trying to address the needs of people with “challenges” – blind, low vision, deaf, tremor (parkinsonian or essential), color blindness, motion/movement disorders, etc. More as a “reference” that others can copy and incorporate into their designs (cuz no one willingly adds support for these requirements to a design unless necessary).

My “demonstration application” is automating a house (this house) to support continued occupation by adults that would otherwise have to be housed in some other facility (retirement home, assisted living, etc.) because they were unable to address the needs of continued independant living.

And, I get a play toy as part of the process! :grin:

84

For writing I don’t know what I would do but I would try to adjust. The goal is to start writing seriously again as my son gets older, long before I retire. (For reference: I am 41 years old.)

If things don’t turn out as planned, it’s okay. The other thing I want to do as my son gets older is deepen my Zen practice, so if all I’m capable of doing is sitting around meditating, that’s not bad either. I spend a lot of time already contemplating my inevitable decline and mortality, in a matter of fact way.

Another thing I would like to do is sit on a nonprofit board and actually be useful at it.

85

I’ve considered tutoring – but, with “strangers” it seems like you open yourself up to claims of abuse, etc. I’m happy helping my friends’ kids as they know me, trust me, etc. But, some other child…?

I’m working on a side project to encourage STEM in public schools. As it is relatively easy to acquire laptops donated from local businesses (so you can get MANY identical units), I figured I would develop an “arena” on them in which “robots” (programs that drive little icons on that screen arena) solve mazes, try to shoot each other, etc. (the actual goal being a function of the level of education of the kids targeted).

So, I can preseent a fictional programming language to the kids, tech them how each statement works and show them how to assemble those statements into a program (algorithm!) to control THEIR robot. They can then write programs and see how their robots perform, at hone, in that virtual (screen) arena.

“Classwork” would explore different strategies to show them how to approach a particular problem. E.g., there are many ways to solve a maze, “blind”. What are the factors that affect each approach?

At the end of the course, let them install their thumb drives containing their “programs” into “real”, physical robots (e.g., 6 ft tall motorized platforms that have been decorated to look like robots – possibly by the students, themselves, as a side activity) and deploy them in a maze that they have not previously seen. Invite friends and family to watch them “compete”.

A token trophy to the “winner”. And, everyone trades in their “class laptop” for a real laptop – to keep. (this lets me crate one set of “class laptops” to be reused without having to use a “normal” laptop for classwork and risking the kids installing malware off the internet, etc.)

“Math team” (high school) was one of my fondest memories. Five of us. After school. Usually at some OTHER school (driven there in my teachers VM microbus). The hosting school would supply little cartons of milk (? maybe it was juice?) and such. We would make a point of stacking up the empties to make great structures, much to the disdain of the other teams (so serious! Sheesh!)

My folks were factory workers. Yet, managed to retire early (I think 55?) by being frugal and having skillsets that allowed them to NOT rely on handymen, etc.

No real interests as they were typically tired when they got home from work, had to prep meals, fix anything that needed fixing, pick up a side job for a friend, etc.

But, when they retired, they decided to travel (europe, etc.) and seemed to really enjoy that. (that being the absolute last thing I would want to do!) Having retired early, they could at least physically handle the experiences.

86

:frowning_face: My experience with non-profits is that their first goal is self preservation; the mission takes a back seat. (I’ve been volunteering with various nonprofits for 20+ years).

If you could keep folks focused on the mission and not feathering their nests, that would be an accomplishment!

87

He was a double-dipper - retired with full pension and benefits and then was hired at his second job at his previous salary. He literally was making >2x the money by taking a second job than he would have if he hadn’t retired :grinning:.

I was being a little facetious for humor of course. Fair if you have widely applicable special skills/talents. I don’t think I do, particularly - mine are both unimpressive and pretty specialized. Oh, maybe I could do some minor good volunteering overseas in poorer areas, but I’m too old and out of shape for the quasi-Peace Corps experience.

But I don’t feel called to service that way. The best thing I can do for society is retire already so my specialized job slot (that must be filled) will be freed up for someone else, while I continue to be a good little consumer on my retirement, expanding the economy.

But I’m hijacking, as this is better suited to one of our numerous retirement threads.

88

The main issue I’ve seen is that board members often get disconnected from the work the agency does and don’t really understand their role as board members. I’m sure it’s particular to each agency what the problem is, but the current issues with our board have inspired me to do better.

89

I’ve too often seen board members selected for – and tasked with – bringing in cash donations (to pay the staff which often seems to grow out of proportion to the mission).

As I’m not a glad-hander who’s going to run around “begging”, I have no desire to serve. I am comfortable “doing the real work” of the mission.

90

This would be an interesting conversation for another thread!

91

Or choose to stay unpartnered.

92

Yeah. I do know what seems to me to be a lot of women who seem to me to be great “catches” who are single.

Of course, because I’m in a technical field, I also know a few men who are single too, but like my late father-in-law used to say (he was an engineer), “The odds are good… but the goods are odd.”

93

If Jimmy Carter and Herbert Hoover are indicators, engineers may make poor chief executives but they make good husbands

94

More likely they have other criteria (e.g., shared interest in a charity effort) that they would use to guide their selections.

95

Maybe. And in times past it may have been shared religious congregation. My suspicion though is that there is not so much finding someone through those real world activities now for adults after college. But I guess sure even on an app the appeal could be that he volunteers at animal rescue organizations or such and likes to hike …

96

Dunno about apps. Also, don’t know about shopping for a mate. :grin:

I think religious ties are obsolescent; more and more people seem to be not religious. Especially higher educated (just looking at the data).

But, I watch the activities that I see friends engage in that bring them together with others – sharing like interests. Whether the “eligible” people in those groups are willling to reach out to another is hard to say. But, those types of shared activities give you an excuse to be together; you KNOW you are going to run into him/her the next time you appear (esp if you notice when you encountered them originally: it was on a tuesday so maybe tuesday is his/her day…)

There are many non-profit groups here with different mission statement that attract different types of people. E.g., older folks tend to prefer more sedentary activities – like looking through donated books and pricing/packaging them for resale. Younger people may prefer more active roles – like collecting medical equipment donations and preparing them for redistribution. Or, refurbishing laptops. Or, plein air painting. Or, playing cards. Or getting involved with a political campaign. Or, a ballot initiative.

Each of these says something about you and the other party; you both have a shared interest and a willingness to GIVE time for it. And, are likely to have multiples of people around you (vs. being in a random foursome on the golf course!)

Certainly better (?) than wondering who will show up at the local watering hole!

97

Well, I think so! (I married an engineer.) And actually, most engineers I know are married, and as far as I can tell seem to make pretty good husbands in general.

Actually, back to the OP, most of the women I know with graduate degrees who married a man with a college degree (and are still married) married an engineer. (Though I don’t think the difference between graduate degree/college degree is nearly as great as the difference between college grad/high school grad.)

98

That’s why my online dating username is Dr_CryptoFintechStartupHedgefund_esq.

Broadly speaking, unless a guy falls into a sexy fireman/lumberjack/policeman trope, most women tend to seek out men who are their professional and educational equal or better while men are often content to date a cute waitress or admin (such as that job even exists anymore). There’s more leeway in your 20s as young people aren’t looking to settle down and may be content to date interesting bartenders or artists or whoever. But as they get towards their 30s, most women tend to start thinking “when’s this guy getting his shit together?”

99

I thought the same thing when I retired. But I soon discovered that I had a lot of non-programming things I’d rather work on, like writing books. (Two sf books in final revision, one non-fiction book written with my wife coming out in November from a major publisher.)
I loved working also. My reason for retiring was more hating the commute than anything. And not having to set my alarm.

100

Feel free to start one – I will try to find it, eventually (or PM me.
As you can imagine, I’ve lots of opinions on the matter – though am reluctant
to discourage ANYONE from giving their time to causes in which they believe.
It is sad that so much potential effort sits at home on a sofa…).

[I find the web interface to be tedious to use as everything is laid out
sequentially in time, instead of allowing one to follow specific
“threads” of a conversation.

Though I will have to adjust my “mail attendant” to allow select messages
through – I found this one in among the “discards” :-/ I’ll see how (if?)
the email interface works…]