Ok, so as you guys have inferred from other posts, I’m a mid-twenties virgin. I’ve not dated much, don’t know many girls, and haven’t had a date for years. Social with a tight group of people, isolated from the rest.
So anyways, there’s this one girl I know, we occasionally run into each other at the same establishments. Totally out of character for me, after the first time I met her a year or so ago, I innocently asked her out. Didn’t get a “no”, just a "well i usualluy go out with my BF. So we stayed aquaintence-friends, running into each other and chatting occasionally (we have common friends and they basically told her i was interested in her). Six months later, her BF made a clean break and moved away. I shouldn’t have done it but later that week I sent her a card, something lame about bad times, good people, etc. Her former BF’s plans changed and he came back to town for a month. Left again. I hadn’t talked to her for a few months after that. Near the holidays, her corporation was having a function that she didn’t have a date for. I could have made the offer to be her escort/date but well, chickened out. We ran into each other once or twice since then and just basically exchanged Hi’s and didn’t speak. Now the other day she ran into me. I tried to not run into her but she insisted on talking to me. Basically we just BS’ed about work. Interestingly though, near the end of the conversation she did sort of start to ask what I was doing this weekend-she then tried to correct herself to “if I was working the weekend”. So maybe ol’Blas still has a shot at going out with her.
I guess, guys, you’ve been in this situation before, what should I do? Just ignore this and stay distant friends? Catch her this week and invite her out this weekend? And what do mid-twenties girls like? Movies still cool? Usually Dinner first?
If you are still interested in her, you should go for it! Call her if you have her number, and if not wait until you run into her. Once she agrees to go out, ask her what she would like to do if you don’t want to make all of the plans yourself. Make sure you decide to go do something that you are both comfortable with, in a comfortable setting. If, for example, you take her somewhere to shoot pool and she hates the game, it will make the entire date awkward. If you want to make an impression, try to think of something unique to do on a first date. My husband took me to the Denver Children’s Museum, and we had a blast! It was the most memorable date I ever had. Remember, dating and relationships are all about communication, so don’t be afraid to get her input! Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
I wouldn’t want to go to a movie with a girl I hardly knew. It kind of sucks because there is no communication during the movie, so it kind of sucks. Lunch is kinda cool because there is no pressure to do anything afterwards like there is with dinner. I am also a big fan of the activity dates. Maybe you can go out with your friend and invite her, so you won’t be on a one-on-one basis, which is what I would personally prefer. Ask her out though!
Actually the first time I met her I’d asked her to lunch. Our mutual friend(s) wouldn’t be a good option as they want to stay out of this, they work behind the scenes or not at all. I could call her but i think it’d be better to see her in person as I should tackle the bull head on, not hiding in the bushes…which is more my style.
Oh, and I don’t mean she’s a bull. She’s very beautiful. And has a good personality.
Oddly this week our schedules have caused us to run into each other a couple times. Friendly overall, think I should play it a bit coy and get a chance to sit down for a few minutes and talk before just throwing it “all on the table”. I’ll let you know next week how it works out.
I can sympathize with your dilema but you really ought to “go for it” and just ask her. I have been there before, delayed once and lost out and got an affirmative the next time. It’s difficult if you are like me but I learned something from each of these interactions regardless of the outcome.
Just ask her already. It’s not like you’re asking her to marry you, you’re asking her out for a date. Don’t beat around the bush for ten minutes first. If she’s anything like me (HUGE assumption) she’ll say yes to a first date. I’ll give almost any non-creepy guy a chance at least once.
I would ask her…it sounds like she’d say “yes” and if I’m wrong the worst that can happen is that she says -er- “no”? In that case, you can still stay friends and you wouldn’t have to ever wonder “what if…”
Ask her out, but make your date (and offer of a date, naturally) centered around an activity rather than something as passive and awkward-silence-laden as a meal and movie. Go bowling. Go shoot darts or pool. Go ice skating. Rent snowshoes or cross-country skis. Head to a coffee house that has board games to play. Take a one-time cooking class.
It gives both of you a chance to do something enjoyable together, and the shared activity can fill gaps in conversation. And of course, when things go well (as they will!), THEN you invite her to extend the date with a meal.
If you do go to dinner or a movie (either now or later), I’d highly suggest you see the movie first and go out to dinner second. This way you have something to talk about. Whenever there’s one of those pesky silences just bring up something from the movie.
I’ve never actually been out on a date, but I think this applies to any social outing where you and some friends go out for dinner and a movie.