Elin Cheats; Tiger Goes After Her With a Gold Club

It seems to me public perception has been pretty much against Tiger for his infidelity and supportive of Elin, even though it’s widely believed that she reacted to learning of his cheating by trying to bash him and the car he was driving with a golf club.

So let’s turn it around: in this new universe, Tiger’s been monogamous and Elin has had an affair or multiple affairs. When Tiger learns of Elin’s affairs, he goes after her and/or her car with a golf club.

What would the public perception be? What’s YOUR perception?

Well, I would first think “that’s kind of extravagant, but surely he can afford it”. But certainly a steel or even wooden club would suffice.

ha, ha, OK. Yes, I get your question. No, it would not be OK. If of course it were proven that he assaulted her, which I didn’t think it was in the current non-hypothetical case, right?

Either way, yes there is a double standard when women are violent with men. This taboo is probably due to the physical power advantage that the typical man has over the typical woman. But my sense is that this double standard typically goes away when there is a weapon involved. I don’t see a lot of people saying “Well, if she hit him with a golf club, that’s a-ok”. I see a lot of “I understand” but not a lot of “That’s OK”.

I’m calling bullshit on this! I’ve heard multiple people say “Even if OJ did it, she deserved it because she was cheating on him” Never mind that they were divorced and OJ was hardly celibant.

Many people still have a double standard: woman get doubly blamed for cheating and men get doubly praised for not.

Is it widely believed that she was trying to injure him? Or merely damaging his property? Because I think there is a difference.

Given the physical disparity, even if the guy were simply brandishing a club in a threatening manner rather than with intent to injure, I believe that would be “worse” than a woman doing the same.

False analogy. It would be fine if the two individuals were a couple of dweebs from Bumblescum, but they’re not. One is a billionaire, the other one is the wife of a billionaire.

A better thought experiment would be to imagine that Martha Stewart had just been caught sleeping around by her (imaginary) husband. I’m pretty sure that people would be sympathetic towards him for bashing her car with a rolling pin.

I thought his face was messed up, but now I realize that I don’t know if that was from the car accident(s) or if she did it to him. And I do agree with the opinion of a difference in retaliatory property destruction versus physical attacks.

I happen to know a woman who has abused boyfriends and a husband, including physically. In fact, I once didn’t believe it when she claimed her boyfriend broke in her door and hit her - until I saw the police report on her table, and the repaired door jamb.

It’s wrong both ways, but I think in the alternate-reality version, most people would think it was worse for him to attack her, but some would go with the “that cheating bitch deserved even more” option.

I don’t know that it works that way. Even before the Imclone scandal and her prison stint, Martha Stewart didn’t have the positives that Tiger had before it was discovered he couldn’t keep his 9 iron in his shorts. A lot of people disliked her (largely because she was a driven, powerful woman) and there had been that dreadful made-for-TV movie with Cybill Shepherd that tore her to shreds. Plenty of people would’ve been sympathetic toward her imaginary husband going after her with a rolling pin (or any other implement) just because of who she is perceived to be, even without any allegations of adultery.

For the analogy to work, we really need a situation in which a physically and financially powerful woman cheats, and her much less powerful (physically and financially) husband attacks her or her property, using the wife’s implements of work. The Martha Stewart example is good, but if folks object because she’s so unpopular, make it Julia Child (back when she was alive, natch). I think folks would still find some humor in the situation, even if neither Tiger’s nor Julia’s spouses acted appropriately.

Let’s see;

He cheats, she hits him with golf club = crime.
She cheats, he hits her with golf club = same crime exactly.

He cheats, she smashes some of his stuff with golf club = could be a crime depending on the damage.
She cheats, he smashes some of her stuff with golf club = same crime exactly.

What was your point again?

Two separate events:

  1. Tiger sleeps around
  2. Elin attacks his SUV

Condemning Event 1 doesn’t automatically mean condoning Event 2. Which one gets more air time doesn’t imply either condemnation or condoning; it’s just a ugly reality of modern news coverage to focus on the part with more bikinis.

Historically, public perception is that a wife’s adultery is reasonable grounds for a good beating, at the very least. Historically, women suffer a whole lot more in the public’s perception for sexual promiscuity.

In your hypothetical, you seem to be suggesting that the public would ignore the wife’s sleeping around if the husband attacked her. I disagree. I suspect that most people would write off the husband’s attack as a crime of passion. I suspect you’d hear a lot of comments to the effect that she should have expected he’d react like that and more than a few comments to the effect that she had it coming.

Yes, society is a lot less tolerant of men hitting women than the reverse. But I’m not convinced that society is any more sympathetic to cheating wives than it used to be.

Besides, I think most of the buzz around Tiger’s adultery has to do with the fact that, prior to this, he had the public perception of being a total mouseketeer. I don’t think all that many people are genuinely disapproving. More bemused, I think. At least that’s how it seems to me, from my computer chair.

This. Traditionally it’s not to be encouraged from either partner, but it’s a male prerogative. The man has to know he is the daddy if a baby results. If he can’t disown the child of another man, he loses serious face.

Actually, most of the early coverage I read was about the laws in Florida and the difficulty of keeping Elin out of jail. It was said that Tiger was lying and refusing to speak to police in order to protect her from the probable outcome of her actions.

I haven’t heard anyone say that it was a good thing or even OK for her to physically attack him. I have heard many say “good on her” for leaving him.

Oh I have, basically a kind of a “tee hee hee, u go girl” thing. I have also heard MANY people say “he only got what he deserved” as to whether his injuries were caused by his wife.

Totally disgusting.

Domestic violence is wrong. It’s not cute or spunky, it is wrong.

This doesn’t sound right to me. The police were there because of the wreck, correct? If She wasn’t there when the police got there, and she didn’t cause the wreck, directly, the police really don’t have anything to charge her with, do they? or, should I have read the details? I’m unclear on them, but, I only know golf club-Elin-something, Tiger-wreck-busted.

hh

You all really think the public would be OK with Tiger hitting his wife with a golf club?

There were early reports that there was no blood on the steering wheel, and thus speculation that Tiger’s facial injuries were caused by Elin’s golf club rather than by the crash. Elin’s story that she used the golf club to break the back window in order to extricate Tiger after the crash was also seen as odd. The speculation that followed was that Tiger was lying about the assault because Elin could face deportation if convicted of a felony. The authorities stated that they did not find a basis to file any charges against her.

SNL did a skit in which Elin hitting Tiger with a club (and otherwise abusing him) was played for laughs.

I didn’t think her hitting him was even a possibility until that sketch, and wasn’t aware there was anything to support it. That sketch sucked in general (as did the whole episode, IIRC) and was also incredibly fucking offensive – but wasn’t the general reaction to it akin to people sneering at a bigoted uncle at a dinner party? I don’t remember a lot of laughs, but there were plenty of bloggers calling out SNL.

I do agree that there is a double-standard, to a point, but I also think that people not taking male domestic abuse victims seriously comes from the same place as people who think female victims bring it upon themselves, or that it is a ‘private matter.’ Men do this, women do this. Men own women but shouldn’t leave marks. Men become famous to get access to women and can’t be blamed for taking advantage of it. Men can cheat but shouldn’t get caught or embarrass the women who’ve got to put up with it. Men can’t admit to women hurting them because that would make them wimps. All in the same ball of gross wax (with some racism mixed in for good measure).

And FTR

No, and that’s not what I said. Also, she didn’t hit him directly - she hit his car. His injuries were from flying glass. Really, if she actually hit him in the face with a golf club, he’d be dead. If she (or hypothetically, he,) had actually made direct contact with the golf club, I think it’d be different reaction.

But as it is, I think if the situation were reversed, the public would focus on portraying Elin as a bitch and a slut and a tramp and Tiger as the poor betrayed husband. I think the public would address the golf club incident with a solid wall of “yes, but …” As in:

“Ok, the golf club incident was over the top, but he didn’t -really- hurt her and he was obviously in shock to find out what a lying skank his “wife” was. If my wife slept with twelve guys, I’d take a golf club to something, too. He better get a paternity test before he agrees to give that slut a single dime.”

I don’t think anyone would cheer him for attacking Elin’s SUV but I do think the public’s energy would be directed largely at vilifying her (wheras, in real life, the public’s energy is directed mostly at giggling about him.)

Wait - she weaponized a golf club, which is Tiger’s tool of the trade. So it would be complementary for him to go after her with this

My perception is “I’d hit that!”

Joke aside, she’s married and I wouldn’t. But maybe her identical twin lawyer sister isn’t married and I’d hit that.

It’s assault with a deadly weapon and a very serious act whichever one of them is posited to have done it. There was serious talk of her going to jail. And then Tiger to jail-bait!

Women are perceived to be weaker, so if Tiger hits her for any reason except self-defense, it would be bad.

Like it or not, when men are being dominated by women, it’s less serious, sometimes hilarious (see Tiger Woods sketch on SNL).