I have to disagree. Perhaps the typical custom is that we keep our pants fully fastened, but it is only a custom. Pants typically don’t harm us, either, but that isn’t always true as in the current example. Unfastening the waist does not even expose any taboo areas. And even exposing taboo areas is not necessarily 100% forbidden, as in the case of somebody on fire. Sure, we seem to have grown a bunch of customs about clothing, but to have these cause somebody pain, especially somebody dealing with a medical situation, goes much too far.
Just to be clear, I believe the mother’s behavior was very cruel and unnecessary. I’m not sure I can blame the boyfriend for not knowing what to do. But given that opening your pants in public is a serious breach of protocol in our society, that’s why I ask whether there couldn’t have been an opportunity to excuse oneself from the table. If it really is that serious a medical issue, of course, that makes the mother’s behavior even more cruel.
If a man unzipped and unbuttoned, in view of others, sitting in a Starbucks I’d think you’d find out pretty swiftly it’s more than just a custom!
Why not go give it a try and report back what kind of attention you received?
Feeling bloated is not a medical condition that precludes one from having a little discretion. Just untuck your shirt first, no one would have seen or cared, it’s not that hard!
At 5’6 and 160 lbs, her BMI is 25.8, which is classified as overweight, and is not healthy.
Oh come on. BMI is not meant to diagnose individuals; the OPs muscle mass and other factors play a large part in determining health. For the record, I’m about the same size & weight as the OP (hell, maybe a little more) and the last time I discussed losing weight with my doc in his opinion I shouldn’t; I was at a healthy weight for my body.
In the United States, the average adult man has a BMI of 26.6 and the average adult woman has a BMI of 26.5. So she’s healthier than average, based on that statistic alone (which we shouldn’t even use like that). And a lot healthier than most of my patients, that’s for sure.
And as already noted, one can say very little about one’s health based on BMI alone, especially when it’s less than 30. BMI is one of most misapplied and poorly understood health statistics there is, in the hands of the general public.
Before I knew I am a bit lactose intolerant, I once made the mistake of knocking back a small bottle of milk. Almost immediately, my stomach began to swell. Within an hour, I looked like I was six months pregnant, and I had some of the worst stabbing pains I’ve ever experienced in my life. I felt so bad I had to go home (I was afraid I’d kill everyone with my nasty farts) So yes a person can be bloated independent of the amount of food they’ve eaten.
Your mother is having the same conversation somewhere else. You embarrassed her with your behavior and you already admitted you understand this isn’t good manners. You said you tried to be discreet. If you’re so bloated you have to unzip your pants then go to the bathroom and take care of it and buy pants that fit better going forward.
You posted this thread looking for moral support. OK, you get some but not all. Your mother was tactless in response to your boorish behavior. As for your boyfriend, I really don’t know what you expected him to say. It’s not that his silence was in support of your mother, he was probably at a loss for words over the whole situation.
Christ there’s some self-righteousness going on here.
The lady needed a small adjustment to her clothing in order to feel more comfortable, I think it was no big deal and anyone calling attention to body-shapes and weight issues in that scenario is in the wrong.
Short of waving your bare arse in my face I really don’t care what you do with your trousers in a restaurant and nor should anyone else.
My 2 cents. Only read the first few posts.
Both grandmas were out of line. So was your bf for not saying anything. Consider whether you want to join this family.
If I had been in your shoes, I’d have gone to the ladies’ room, loosened my buttons, and then untucked my blouse. If anyone asked when I got back to the table, I’d say, “It was nothing.” Call me old-fashioned but I come from a generation that did not discuss bodily functions at the dinnertable. YMMV.
We have had this discussion before. https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=838787 . It even is the same OP.
I agree with the go to the restroom and unbutton, put your shirttail down and act like nothing happened. It appears though, that she also unzips her pants so coming back from the restroom may be problematic.
As it happens, I’m a bit bloated right now. My last meal was six hours ago, and I had no discomfort while biking home. I did fall asleep on the couch for about an hour. I fell asleep on the couch about an hour ago. I have obstructive sleep apnea, so I no doubt swallowed air. It’s happened before.
Good grief. That is really weird. The same question from the same person a year ago.
I forgot about that thread. But at least my answers are consistent.
From the linked thread:
Well damn. Maybe it’s time to buy some eatin’ pants.
mmm
Ok, that’s odd. But it seems that those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it. Or at least the meal repeats.
A cursory post search shows this is a common activity from the OP.
And she knew a year ago what kind of response it would elicit from her mother, and what the SDMB thought about the appropriateness of doing it out in public. Sheesh. There’s a lot of button pushing going on in that family.
Ok I thought the OP was a one off thing, where she got unexpectedly bloated & mom was a biatch. But seriously, this is a regular practice?!? :dubious:
If the OP has a chronic uncomfortable medical condition, I can sympathize. But it she knows that it’s likely to happen regularly. Surely she can develop a more socially acceptable strategy for dealing with it?