It’s not uncommon for a straight woman to have an emotionally intimate relationship with a gay male friend. I cannot recall ever hearing about this sort of thing happening between gay women and straight men.
Does it ever occur in real life that a straight man would be a gay woman’s go to emotional buddy to discuss life crises, hopes and dreams etc.?
Here’s an article from Details magazine about “lesbros”. There are plenty of other references/discussions online.
How many straight men you figure are out there who are looking for a woman they can discuss their feelings with but without the complications of sex?
One of best friends for years was a lesbian.
I was her best straight male friend.
I learned a great deal about women from her.
It has been years now, but I mourn her loss and miss her.
So, yes, it does happen.
The Bernie Rhodenbarr novels (and short stories) by Lawrence Block show that dynamic. Bernie is a gentleman burglar and his best friend is Carolyn Kaiser, a lesbian pet groomer. I remember once she commented about two types of people she didn’t understand… “gay men and straight women.”
Sorry, I don’t know any IRL.
Adam Sackler (Girls) is exclusively friends with lesbians, besides his relationship with Hannah. The only one we meet in season 1 is Tako (in the crazy “Welcome to Bushwick” episode).
Maybe future seasons will explore the dynamic more. It’s always been a bit of an “I wonder…” for me as well.
I’m a straight male and I have lesbian friends. I don’t treat them any differently to the way I treat my non-lesbian friends. I take everyone as they come: gay, straight, anything else. I don’t care. In my experience, lesbians appreciate guys just treating them as, you know, human beings.
Straight guys, and in my experience lesbians too, don’t really do the classic fag-hag stuff. I can talk about intimate emotional stuff to my friends if I want, I just don’t really feel the need all that often.
My “emotionally intimate relationship” is with my wife. I cannot say I treat the lesbians we know any differently than any other friends. (Of course, the fact that all our friends tend to be middle-class married couples with kids of college age probably skews my perceptions.)
No it’s impossible. My best friend in town for a couple of years was just kidding. Not that I attract lesbians, but now that you mention it, I do know a few and am pretty friendly with them.
Of course it’s possible. I’m a lesbian and my closest friend is a straight man. Several of my other good friends are men - probably more men than women, actually.
For a long time my best friend was a lesbian. Sadly we had a falling out, all my fault and related to my alcoholism, and damned do I miss her. I have thought, often, of trying to get in touch with her but I think the damage done was too much.
Until I hlew it, we were way tight and diacussed everything.
Slee
I would really like this. At the moment I have something similar from older straight women who we both know do not want to sleep with one another. But I think being able to discuss sexual stuff in a “more perverted” way with a lesbian would be useful. I am not particularly looking out for this though. I see no reason it’s not possible in principle.
And the straight man is always envisioning himself making sweet love to this lady, even if it’s the only time it’ll ever happen. (Lesbian women, your straight male friends
are quite interested! Or is this another time when I project my thoughts onto everyone else?)
Um, no. I know too damn many 50-some-odd year old bull dykes. I would no more be “interested” in any of them than I would be in any of my golf partners.
I’m 42, and I’ve had three, over the years.
(In part due to being generally-and-incidentally attracted to lesbian women, not in a cheesy male fantasy sort of way, but just by being constitutionally attracted to qualities in women which are typically more common among lesbians. Fast track to the friend zone; wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.)
I’m gay, and one of my best friends is a straight guy so yeah.
My best friend is a lesbian - any yes she has come to me with some emotional stuff. I can’t see why a straight man and a gay woman can’t be best friends…
I’ve had a couple. One was a high school buddy. She even came on to me sexually once trying to deny what she knew about herself. We made out, but she felt like a forced cold fish and I already kinda knew what was up. I had noticed where her eyes wandered and already knew. So, no sex but we saw each other naked, and after that we hung out all the time and I was a bit of a beard for her parents. We were fast friends for a long time.
Another was a neighbor who I housesat for. Great relationship. Kinda wound down when she went to Europe for an internship, but we still stay in touch.
I don’t really think this sort of thing is that uncommon for a straight man who lives in an area where there are a lot of gay people.
I’m a straight guy, and worked for and roomed with a lesbian friend in Cambridge, MA, and my wife back home in Chicago was fine with it. Great friend and excellent employer.
Her look is pretty much traditional lesbian “boy” style - imagine a shorter version of Rachel Maddow. Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival “See You In August” bumper sticker on her small, sensible car.
I was a bit surprised when she got married to a man a few years back.
‘Frock’.