Totally agree! 
Slightly off topic: I learned Spanish in Spain, so I wasn´t sure whether “guapa” was frequently used in Latin America. What is its usage?
In Spain you can say “hola guapa” to just about any (female) friend; hell, even the guy in the grocery store would always greet me with “guapa” or “reina”.
So is it used like that or is it more familiar, like “bonita” or “mi amor”?
I thought I’d get hilarious results with that, but that’s no really too bad. I think I wouldn’t use “devolver,” and I’d change the “distante, distante lejos” part, and I’d just use “website,” but other than that: not the laughs I expected. 
Didn’t use a translator - it’s just that my spelling in Spanish sucks big time, having learned most of it verbally.