This is why I can’t wait until I get old. Then I can say stuff like that and get away with it.
Ahem! Post #52.
I’m not sure which is worse: the grad school friend who won’t stop (and she is 39) talking about her Child or my mother who won’t shut up about her dog. The same dog who has tried to bite two of my three kids. The same dog who has snarled at me. She’s a high strung Dalmation who is neurotic as hell. Not cute. Not fun. Not appealing in any way. Trust me on this: my mother is more interested in her dog than she is in her grandkids. I don’t send her pics except at Christmas and she doesn’t know how to use a computer so sending albums is out (I probably wouldn’t do that anyway. I find that I never look at pics on the computer).
my mother is one reason I am down on pets.
I Love it! I can see how that pisses people off, but fair is fair.
My turkeys do that! And when the sun hits them just so, they are very pretty! Want to see some pictures?
A snit? That was polite, so take your reply and shove it. I am sure[ B]batsto** can clarify if he/she chooses, you point was already made by eleanorigby, so why post that? I don’t give a flying fuck what you think.
Now that is a snit. 
My husband used to work with a woman who was constantly talking about every single thing her child did. We once went there for dinner and it was all about watching him eat. And THEN she cooked the dinner she invited us for.
So every time she started talking about the darling one, Mr. Lillith would tell a story about our dog. He matched her over and over. She never noticed that he was making fun of her.
I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
Lillith, that’s just funny. I should start carrying pictures of my cats around for these purposes - do that thing where you open your wallet and stretch out your accordion thingy of a billion kitty pictures.
I missed post 52. A thousand apologies, FarmerChick. I could really take a lesson from you about how to be polite. So let me see if I’ve got this:
Go fuck yourself.
I’d like to see a picture of your turkeys. But just one, please. 
And just when I’d given up on finding a new sig line. How you doin’ ?? 
I carry shots of the kids. A pile. In my shoulder bag. They stay there. Now and then, when traveling, I pull em out. Cause I miss em. They’re 18 and 17 now, but the shots span their lives. I do not force these images upon unsuspecting strangers.
I don’t work in a traditional office. If I did? A current school photo of each kid, whatever. I enjoy looking at em. But wallpaper? An endless parade? -gag-
Cartooniverse
No, no, no, no, you left out the “with”. You have to specify a mechanism, preferably a very bloody or painful one. It’s “Go fuck yourself with <insert tool of choice>.”
Jeez, get with the program…
This is the pit after all.
We have one in our office.
I used to like to chat with her as she was nice and down to earth but after the baby came I avoid her like the plague.
You can not even say “Hey, How are you?” anymore. If you do you are stuck for at least 10 minutes hearing about the baby. And she is not one of those cheerful mothers. Everything is negative.
The baby has a cold
The baby isn’t sleeping
The baby has a cold
The baby is teething
The baby has cold
The baby won’t eat solid foods
The baby has a cold
I think the poor kid is reflecting all the negative feelings.
The last meeting I was in that she was in was on a Friday and while we were waiting for others to show up we started mentioning what we going to do over the weekend. She pipes in with “I will be washing baby clothes all day”. Shut the fuck up. Nobody cares. Nobody feels sorry for you. The kid is not even a year old yet. You have 17 more fucking years so you better settle in for the long haul.
The last time I got stuck alone with her was in the cafeteria. Thank goodness my lunch was almost done in the microwave. She came in and I cringed.
Her: Hey whats up?
Me: Nothing, just getting my lunch, You?
Her: Oh not much. The baby is now biting and I am not sure what to do
Me: Bite him back
Her: That is what my mom said
Me: Well, there you go
I grabbed my lunch and ran.
She also has a coffee cup of a 3D picture of the baby that was taken before it was born. I have to sit across the meeting tables looking at that thing. I wish she would at least upgrade with a pic of after the kid was born. Maybe she keeps it as a reminder of what life was like before the kid.
I am possibly the only person on this board or indeed in the universe who is not annoyed by people wishing to share their pics of babies, pets, favorite toys, vacations, or whatever with me.
I kinda like seeing what personally interests people I know.
The limit is that any conversation can’t be always about them and their interests. But sending me emails with pics? Whats the harm - I can just ignore them if I want.
You and Kazumi both.
Ooh, I’ll have to tell my wife this one. It is something she’d say. She’s the type who yells out the car window to those pushing baby carriages, “You should have got a dog instead!”. She has 3 kids of her own.
My sisters recently started spawning. In both cases a strange thing occurred. Their facebook pages stopped having pictures of their friends and their husbands, but now only have pictures of baby and themselves. No trace of the husbands remain. Both have profile pictures of themselves and their kid(s). They are no longer the individuals that I remember, but have turned into some strange conjoined creature that reminds me of George/Kuato Scroll down to #7.
Exactly! I work with someone like this. She doesn’t complain about the baby exactly, but about how miserable her life is: “I’ve been up since 2:30” type stuff. What makes it worse is that this was a horribly ill-advised pregnancy from the first: her marriage and financial state both have wobbled between “I am thinking about moving back in with my parents” to “I think we are doing a little better than we were”, which to me is not a ringing endorsement. Her son is special needs, and she has a variety of medical problems that lead to a high risk pregnancy from the start (she was on bed rest 14 weeks, ten of them in the hospital). Everything she’s ever said about her husband suggests he’s completely incompetent at best and mentally unstable at worst–she can’t leave the kids with him for any period of time.
And so she loves to come into my room every morning and tell me how horrible her life is and I have no idea what to say beyond “I’m sorry”. I can’t talk about my life to her because if I talk about good things, it feels like I am bragging, and if I talk about bad things they seem pathetic in comparison. So I listen to her complain endlessly about how hard it is to juggle baby/special needs son/incompetent husband and just nod and make noises. I think she thinks suffering is an accomplishment, and now that she’s achieved to much, she has to brag.
I think you should tell her exactly that. I find as I get older my sympathy for idiots working hard to make their own lives worse is waning fast.
If I thought it would help her, I would, but it would just make her hurt even more and not really make me feel any better. What would be the point?
Maybe snap her out of her victim mentality? I don’t know. I just know I’m getting tired of people complaining about the messes they make themselves.
This is getting emailed to every pregnant friend I have.
I’ll be back in a couple days.