Enough with the horrible, disgusting hags in MILF porn!

[Slypork]

@CMiller

Voice mail from earlier today:
“Hi CMiller, it’s your mom. I was driving home today, listening to NPR, and they had a segment with a singer named Tori Amos. She kept referring to an M-I-L-F and I have no idea what it means. I assume it’s something dirty because they won’t give the definition. Any idea what it means? Call me back!”
You want awkward? Try explaining what a MILF is to your mother.

I think it would be more awkward to go to one of those sites and see your own mother. The holidays would never be the same.

[Madd_Maxx]

@Nzinga

And maybe my husband is in the minority as far as guys who actually care about the shape of the fat girls in the porn they watch.

Far from it.

[OneCentStamp]

@Madd Maxx

Far from it.

Exactly. Fat girl shaped like a thin girl, only exaggerated (wide hips, round ass, huge boobs) = good. Fat girl shaped like a fat guy (flat butt, big gut, little pointy boobs) = not so much.

[Beware_of_Doug]

Methinks this is the kind of product, and industry, where the end user is a very low priority. You take what they care to offer you, or (literally, in this case) you can go fuck yourself.

[eleanorigby]

As if the guys in these films are anything to look at. :rolleyes:

Just felt that needed to be said.

[gonzomax]

I thought MILF was midget porn. I am relieved.

[VinylTurnip]

Your average donkey-show donkey is no prize, either, frankly.

Don’t give me that smug look, Eeyore. If you weren’t so hung you’d be wearing a saddle at some five-year-old brat’s birthday party.

[tdn]

I had no idea that so many guys were turned on by the Moro Islamic Liberation Front.

[andros]

@OneCentStamp

Exactly. Fat girl shaped like a thin girl, only exaggerated (wide hips, round ass, huge boobs) = good. Fat girl shaped like a fat guy (flat butt, big gut, little pointy boobs) = not so much.

Mind you, fat girl shaped like a fat girl = best. But then, I’m a fan of the Reubenesque rather than the properly fat.
.

[Waverly]

@jackelope

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

I’m not without sin, but I do have a 90mph fastball. Can I go first?

[Guinastasia]

@eleanorigby

As if the guys in these films are anything to look at. :rolleyes:

Just felt that needed to be said.

You forgot these two words:
Ron Jeremy.

[UltraVires]

@Mosier

I look at milf porn because you’re more likely to find women that look like real women. I’m actually annoyed at milf porn for the OPPOSITE reason you are - there are too many super young too-fit women with boob jobs and tight abs that look to be 28 at most. Porn is usually disappointing, because this same female robot archetype is in almost every stupid scene. I’d like REAL women in my porno scenes, please.

Not me. I’ve had real women in real life. I want the fantasy in porn. If I want real life, I can go to the local watering hole, drink 17 beers and wake up next to a “real” woman. Not pretty. I like the fem-bots…

[VinylTurnip]

Do they still count as “MILFs” if they’ve just had several abortions?

[ArrMatey]

@Jurph

“Hi Mom, it’s C. Happy Holidays! I wouldn’t worry about that Tori Amos hussy, she’s always coked-up and inventing new words. It’s probably a sex thing or something about drugs. You don’t need to know what it means unless you’re into drugs… Mom… you’re not… Mom, you’re not into drugs are you? Mom, just say no! I love you mom!”

Orange-juice-on-keyboard moment, thanks!

[saoirse]

@CMiller

Voice mail from earlier today:
“Hi CMiller, it’s your mom. I was driving home today, listening to NPR, and they had a segment with a singer named Tori Amos. She kept referring to an M-I-L-F and I have no idea what it means. I assume it’s something dirty because they won’t give the definition. Any idea what it means? Call me back!”
You want awkward? Try explaining what a MILF is to your mother.

That’s simple. Just wait until you are alone with her, and say “Mother, I’d…”

[Yeticus_Rex]

@gonzomax

I thought MILF was midget porn. I am relieved.

The memo I received specifically said it was meth-heads, not midgets.

[Hostile_Dialect]

Yeticus, isn’t that all porn?

[Cartooniverse]

@Guinastasia

You forgot these two words:
Ron Jeremy.

Ahhh yes. The Chewbacca Mit Cock-a of the porn world.

[Yeticus_Rex]

@Hostile Dialect

Yeticus, isn’t that all porn?

Good question…does Porn lead to Meth, or does Meth lead to Porn?

Probably both.

[Guinastasia]

@Cartooniverse

Ahhh yes. The Chewbacca Mit Cock-a of the porn world.

What did poor Chewie do to deserve the comparison?