Well, for starters, stop talking about hurting before you’ve even gone on a date. 
It was a JOKE! :smack: 
:eek: :rolleyes:
I went on to ask if she had been running with scissors etc. She’s clearly the sort of person who likes to laugh, and she smiles a lot. I have kind of decided my job is to make her laugh.
OK, note to self: watch out for repeating jokes because some start to think it’s serious.
BTW I emailed her back. Brief, just that I wasn’t worried and she is a lot of fun to be around.
Woah. Baggage.
Seriously, why would you want to try so hard with someone who is giving you crap to begin with? If it were me, and you waited two weeks to call me back, I’d think one of two things:’
1 - You’re not really into me but you’re bored or think I’m an easy lay; or
2 - You found someone better but they didn’t like you as much so you’re coming back to me again as default
Either way, waiting two weeks to call would be a complete deal breaker for me. We’re adults - if you’re interested in pursuing a relationship, but want to play games, no thanks. I value sincerity a great deal.
Games…to a degree they’re inevitable, aren’t they?
My inclination is to go straight at what I want. In other areas of life that usually works, but not so in dating. E.g. there are some safety issues, like some people will perceive you as desperate if you are too forthright. And then there’s some psychology: tease to please. I read a self-help book in which the author commented something like, “You don’t want to seem cheap; you do want to appear to be on special this week.”
And with regard to Blinking’s comments, here’s the thing: if it didn’t work (for him), he wouldn’t do it. I’m not sure one person can take tools from another’s toolbox, because it may not fit within the overall personality. But it’s worth pondering IMO.
I’m thinking about this date on Saturday. My first instinct is to get her address and pick her up because that seems gentlemanly. She’s certainly worth the gasoline to me and how she decorates her place, whether NASCAR is on the tube, etc. could be useful info.
OTOH she may not be comfortable telling me where she lives; I could be a perv or stalker or whatever. So do I offer to pick her up (possibly presumptuous) or tell her it’s okay if she wants to meet me at a neutral location (may make her think I’m cheap) or…?
On the third hand (yes, you have a third hand) you’ve got the fact that for the date we’ll be in my car anyway.
I wonder if Blinking and Fluid would get along IRL. Fluid, I may be wrong but from your post you seem to be female (“you…think…I’m an easy lay.”) Supposing that’s the case, maybe the difference in approaches is beyond male/female and related to bigger differences, e.g. bankers don’t have much in common with artists or people in blue states have different views than those in red states, etc. Neither side necessarily is right or wrong, but definitely incompatible.
I get that you were joking, but my point is that you might want to watch what you joke about early on. For example, joking about racism or killing someone or stuff like that might be okay later on (depending on how dark your humour runs), but you don’t want to put really negative ideas in someone’s head even when it’s obvious you’re joking until they get to know how dark your humour runs. Does that make sense? My husband didn’t get to see my truly perverted side until at least a couple of dates, when I was fairly sure I wouldn’t scare him off.
Oh, I was going to address picking her up, too - why don’t you just ask her what she’s comfortable with? Like, “Would you like me to come pick you up, or would you prefer to meet at the restaurant?”
Re: waiting to let the dark side out, good point. I know many, many jokes and I’m not easily offended or anything but it’s best to hold back.
I suppose we’ll have to decide tomorrow or Saturday about precise coordinates. She may give me her address without prompting or we may go into negociation. Maybe I’m overanalyzing this one…we have several mutual acquaintances that would probably vouch for me. After all, she gave me her business card, so I already know where she works—she must trust me.
The transportation is always an interesting issue. On the one hand, if I meet you somewhere, I can make a quick getaway if things get awkward. Yet, if things are going okay, I can’t just “invite you in for a cup of coffee” - I have to ask you to follow me home which implies more than maybe I’m ready to offer on the first date.
I tended to meet people the first date - rather than have them pick me up. Assume that’s what she will want too unless she tells you otherwise.
What if I said something like, “Hey, I realize it’s a Saturday and a lot of people need to run errands. Would it be easier for you if I picked you up or met you at the restaurant?” That way, I could avoid raising the safety issue while giving her the option.
What do you dopers think about presenting her with a single red rose? Charming, corny, what?
ETA (knock on wood) one never knows if the date will actually happen. I don’t think she’s going to bail on me but who knows? So if things really went off the rails at dinner, she could decide to stop it there.
If they don’t, she’d need to leave her car at the restaurant. Hopefully it wouldn’t get towed or broken into.
I think that would work.
Red Rose - survey says - ehhh.
Get a Gerber Daisy or a confetti rose (the kind that are yellow tipped with red/pink) or 3 tulips or any exotic flower but a rose.
Don’t get me wrong, a single rose is nice.
But it’s also done a lot. Stand out and ask your florist to recommend some other kind of flower. Just remember to do things in odd numbers (1/3/5).
And then be able to tell her a little bit about the flower, or maybe how it reminded you of her. “It really stood out to me from the crowd, just like you.”
At least, that’s what I would do.
:takes notes:
Blecch - no flowers, unless you pick her up at her house so she can put it in water right away and not have to carry the thing around all night. A single red rose is sooooo over done. Do you ever watch those blind date shows? Take notes on them, and don’t do anything they do. They always seem to find the cheesiest common denominator.
Maybe I’m too old-fashioned? Man, I meant to get my horses re-shoed and the covered wagon patched up before this date but didn’t have time! Maybe she won’t notice…
Not so big on roses, alone or in giant, million-dollar bouquet. Interesting flowers (e.g. birds of paradise) are cooler. Or a flowering plant! And for the love of og, no carnations or baby’s breath.
Would the board feel better about something like a chocolate rose, a stuffed animal, a metric socket set…?
melodyharmonius and Cat Fight have both suggested other, more interesting flowers. Go that way. The consensus seems to be that its not flowers that are hokey, it’s roses.
Updates:
I emailed C, inquiring about tomorrow. She replied, said we could meet near me, so I guess that means she’s not quite comfortable with me picking her up. Cool, that question’s answered.
And she gave me her home email address. btw it includes “gal” in it.
I’m really waffling on the flower. Doesn’t a three event date (dinner, mini golf, drive in movie) kinda push the envelope to begin with?
No updates on L. I emailed her but haven’t heard back. Maybe she’s been sick or otherwise out of pocket.
Like I said earlier, no flower if she has to cart it around all night. That’s just a pain instead of a romantic gesture.
Less than three hours till showtime. Getting a little nervous here. Oog, doesn’t this ever get easier? It occurs to me I shouldn’t have set up a marathon date but she seemed to like all the ideas so…?
Flower(s) are out since it would be something to be dragged along/left to wilt in the car.
Checklist time. What am I going to forget to do/take along?
Now that the date’s end is about 24 hours past, I guess I’m ready/objective enough to update.
Overall, it went well. A long first date—6 hours, start to finish—is risky. But we didn’t run out of things to discuss. She laughed a lot and said she had a great time.
That said, I don’t know if it was a major love connection. I mean, I like her as much as I already did…but she wasn’t hugely affectionate when I kissed her (3-4 times). I feel really comfortable with her. But, maybe she’s not that into me. Or maybe she’s a little rusty. Or maybe she’s reserved at first but warms up with time. That’s just the ambiguity of dating, I guess.
I considered emailing her today but decided not to. I figured if she wasn’t enthusiastic about the kissing, maybe she’d feel pressured or something. So I held back. But then, whoopee, she emailed me! 
It was pretty brief, just to say thanks again etc. I take that as a good sign. I emailed her back so we shall see.