[QUOTE=What Exit?]
How about an Elephant
[/QUOTE]
Heavy duty mouse trampling device.
Pencil.
[QUOTE=Risha]
Heavy duty mouse trampling device.
[/QUOTE]
Ha!
Pencil: Cleavage of graphite demonstrator. (OK, only funny to geologists).
Ummm…(this is fun!)…the next word is soap.
[QUOTE=Risha]
Heavy duty mouse trampling device.
Pencil.
[/QUOTE]
Stress Reliever for the Cubicle Farm Denizen.
Pork Chop
Soap = Personal hygiene facilitation fluid/solid
Pork chop = Edible porcine flank derivative
Condom?
[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
Condom?
[/QUOTE]
Reproduction delivery inhibitor
Shoehorn
[QUOTE=tdn]
Shoehorn
[/QUOTE]
Pedal insertion assistive device
Next: Telemarketer
[QUOTE=dwc1970]
Pedal insertion assistive device
Next: Telemarketer
[/QUOTE]
Telemarketer: Dire Disembodied Verbal Demonic Parasite
Web Designer
Web Designer: Arachnid structural-engineering consultant.
Congress.
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]
Web Designer: Arachnid structural-engineering consultant.
Congress.
[/QUOTE]
Device for turning hot air into bullshit.
Don’t you mean, male bovine fecal matter?
Toaster.
Anyone who read Bloom County knows that a trash collector is a “waste management artisan.”
Sheesh.
[QUOTE=Mindfield]
Anyone who read Bloom County knows that a trash collector is a “waste management artisan.”
Sheesh.
[/QUOTE]
Sheesh: Epithet Indicating Peeved Exasperation. 
Weed Whacker.
Weed Whacker: Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated friend.
Handjob.
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]
Weed Whacker: Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated friend.
Handjob.
[/QUOTE]
Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated palmist friend.
Clock.
[QUOTE=Risha]
Mr. Weed’s much-appreciated palmist friend.
Clock.
[/QUOTE]
Tick-tock machine. (I’m uncreative today. Shut up.)
Looking at porn websites while at work.
[QUOTE=xnylder]
Toaster.
[/QUOTE]
Portable bread-heating device.
Another victim of simulposts: Warranty manager/clerk
What Exit?: Your definition of “telemarketer” is actually more of a dysphemism, or even a cacophemism. Then again, it is a more pleasant description of telephone solicitors than the one you’d have posted were this a Pit thread…
[QUOTE=Kythereia]
Looking at porn websites while at work.
[/QUOTE]
A quick trip to visit the unemployment fairy.
Walking the dog.
Spousal-independence therapy
Colonoscopy
[QUOTE=Subterraneanus]
Spousal-independence therapy
Colonoscopy
[/QUOTE]
Hyperinvasive internal dignity extractor.
Baseball
[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
Hyperinvasive internal dignity extractor.
Baseball
[/QUOTE]
Life
Football