A recent while back I broke up with my then-girlfriend of two years. While we did have some things in common, there were just too many things neither of us could compromise on. I had foolishly thought that the things about her I was unhappy with would either change, or I would simply get used to them/they wouldn’t bother me. Unfortunately, they didn’t. So I decided to break things off. She was hurt, but had agreed both of us wanted different things in a relationship, and were at too separate points in our respective lives to make it work between us.
Three of the things that I felt were important to me regarding someone I’d want a relationship with were the following- I wanted someone closer to my own age, someone that was done with school, and someone that weighed less than me. The first thing was based on the idea that the person would be in a similar point in their life as me, working on a career, supporting themselves, etc. The second thing had to do with someone who had already set their own path, learned some tough lessons on their own, etc without inadvertantly having me impose advice based on my own screwups/lessons learned. And the third is just a physical preference that I haven’t be assertive enough with myself up until recently to enforce.
When I broke up, I figured I’d give myself some time to get motivated to pursuing some of my own goals; furthering my own career, joining the company softball team, going to the gym with my best friend, etc. Well I was thrown quite a curveball when my friend introduced me to a mutual female friend of his and her and I really hit it off. What is ironic about it is she pretty much contradicts at least two of the three rules I set for myself- She’s the same age as my ex (six years younger then myself, in our twenties) and still in college. Body type…well I guess she’s kind of borderline but very curvy (plus she dresses very well for her body type) so I’m pretty pleased with her looks. I suppose based on the silly rules I set for myself, she’s beneath my standards, but there’s so many traits about her I like (likes to read, goes to my Alma Mater and knows the same profs, assertive and independent) at the moment I don’t care that she’s still in school and 6 years younger than I.
Ever have something like this happen in your own life? I myself frequently wonder if I really like her for her or its just that she’s so opposite of my previous relationship that I’m simply enjoying having some kind of…emotional vacuum or something filled for once. So far things are going well and I’m not trying to knock it, I guess its just so close to the end of a previous long term relationship that I’d lie to myself just to get laid. But it could be a good thing. Who knows?!