Job requires zilch,
Intelligence atrophies,
Only bonus? Dope.
I wait in car line
Patiently, I inch. Asshole,
merged in front of me.
Want to poop in peace
Cow-orker interrupts me
This pisses me off
I pinch off the log
Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, FUCK!
So much for my peace!
Bearflag70 inspired this one, not a gripe:
Novice anal sex
Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, FUCK!
Now you know how-to.
TMI haikus
Make me loudly gag at work
Everybody stares
CD selection
I brought to work is boring.
Sigh. The Doves again.
This SlimFast shake is
Sweet, but unsatisfying.
Lasagne tonight!
Do more with less
Boss covers own ass
Consider misdomeanor binge
Head full of cotton
Two lungs full of rattling snot
Damn the common cold
Claim you didn’t cheat
Liar liar, pants on fire!
Caught you redhanded
Weathermen predict…
What the hell is “wintry mix?”
No snow day in sight
Ruby,best wishes
Try hot tea and rest in bed
No dates for a while
Look for work, find none
All want certs, certs i have none
But I am smart guy
Give me chance, I say
Ninety days at reduced pay
I will show my worth
Ninety day is all
I will have you in my thrall
I am your guru
Six weeks is too long
for any business trip
Husband, I miss you
Homer’s Not Funny
Everyone always says that.
Has it jumped the shark?
Straight Dope nitpickers
“Your second line has eight syllables”
They can eat my shit.
Daughter in car seat.
What gives? The car does not start!
Left lights on. Moron.
They gave me ticket
But why? I have a sticker
What stupid morons
We need new brochure
Swampy must develop it
But he don’t wanna!
Not fair I should be
The one to develop
The stinkin’ brochure!
But since I have to
Will develop the brochure
Still don’t want to tho!
Maybe the brochure
Will give papercuts to
The ones who want it!
Making up haiku
Gripin’ bout the brochure is
A whole lot more fun!
Swampy will go now
To make the stinkin’ brochure
And get it over with!
Are you brochure
You want to do that swampy?
“Groan” you say - oh well
Oh drat, I am dumb
Only 4 syllables there
Will they notice it?
Canny office mate
with a put-on helpless face
“There is no toner…”
Looks like somebody
Has a case of the Mondays
Boss sucks, “m’kay? Yeeeeeaaaaaah…”
Winter, let us go!
Spring in fifteen days.
Boat splashes soon.
Sails up!