Expiration dates on condoms gives me false hope

[Incubus]

@fetus

I’d be satisfied with sex, a relationship, anything, but nothing seems to work out right now.

Thankfully, I have some old favorites back in my hometown that I’ll be seeing this December and January. It’s not the same, though. I had such an easy time picking up my first (ever, in my life!) girlfriend here, but since she dumped me a month and a half ago I can hardly get a girl I’m interested in to talk to me.

I guess I’m going to go leave my AIM screenname on the board on the door of a girl I kind of like in my dorm hall…but that seems like all I can do. I liked this one girl, then I met who would turn out to be my GF and forgot about her and now that I need someone all she can remember about me is that I dropped her like a bad habit. (Boo on me!) I met this other girl at a party but nothing happened because she ended up inviting me and my friends to her house (not knowing I was the guy she had met at a party a few weeks before)…then one of my ‘friends’ (a guy I didn’t even know, he just decided to tag along when me and my friend left the party!) got piss drunk on her vodka and made a fool of himself, passing out and nearly throwing up on her porch. Her roommate called the cops on us and denied her (the girl I knew) existence, and now she won’t answer my phone calls. I met this other girl while waiting in line to buy a class syllabus, but now whenever I call her to ask her to hang out she happens to be busy. I liked another girl, but it seems she thinks of me as just a friend.

And I’m still not sure I’m over my ex.

I’ve considered, a few times, going down to the so-called ‘slut’ dorm and trying to whore myself out to a random girl with drugs/alcohol. But I’ve always liked to think I didn’t need to stoop that low.

Frankly, I don’t know anymore.

I hear ya. I’m in a similar situation- its not for a lack of effort, I guess all I could chalk it up to is bad luck. I had a fling on a cruise last summer, but I really wished it was more than just a fling Lately I also have the problem ‘of no women in a 10 mile radius of Incubus are single’.

Shit, if there was a slut dorm I could be reduced to frequenting, I would have been there yesterday At least you have a choice to agonize over. Lately I have only had one option: Being single, because the way things are right now, I could be living on a planet devoid of women and not be any worse off than I am now

[Taryn]

There’s hope for you. Just don’t jump the first thing you get a chance to, good things come to those who wait…

[Q.E.D]

@UncleRojelio

You were supposed to say, “No”.

To which the reply would be, “I guess you have never needed to unroll one that far”.

rimshot

That’ll teach you to toss out a straight line on this message board.

[Booker57]

@Taryn

There’s hope for you. Just don’t jump the first thing you get a chance to, good things come to those who wait…

I’ve been waiting a long time. To hell with good. I’ll take something with a pulse.

Desperate? why sort of, why do you ask?

[Casey1505]

Tuxedo?

I’ll have to google that one.

[Already_in_Use]

Heh, tuxedo.

“You say you don’t do casual sex? OK, I’ll rent a tux!”

[Hostile_Dialect]

@Incubus

Shit, if there was a slut dorm I could be reduced to frequenting, I would have been there yesterday

Actually, I feel the same way. But what exactly would I do? I have no idea what to say or do in the situation of being in a slut dorm. Much as I’d love to go down there and get laid, I have no clue what I’d say/do once I found some random girl’s room. It’s all rumors, anyway, mostly circulated by girls. So, what am I supposed to do, walk around the hall with a handle of Bacardi knocking on doors until I find an attractive and easy-seeming girl?

[Hostile_Dialect]

Are the “tuxedo” condoms the black ones? Those are kind of nice because no matter how crunk you are you can still tell if something’s wrong because of the white-on-black contrast. I remember sitting there, twisted on psychedelic drugs, staring at the condom after the second time (first day) my first friend-with-benefits (FWB) and I had sex, pondering: “Why is the top of this black condom white?” After a few seconds, I suddenly realized that I was looking at a broken condom, and drove seemingly in autopilot to my friend’s house halfway across town to get some Plan B or somesuch for my FWB. That was surreal.

(We made the decision to have sex before the drugs were ingested, BTW, for those who think me some sort of date-rapist.)

[My_Darn_Snake_Legs]

Y’all got my hopes up with that talk of the OP having pictures on the board! I looked for them, but I couldn’t find them.
:smack:

[Incubus]

@fetus

Are the “tuxedo” condoms the black ones? Those are kind of nice because no matter how crunk you are you can still tell if something’s wrong because of the white-on-black contrast. I remember sitting there, twisted on psychedelic drugs, staring at the condom after the second time (first day) my first friend-with-benefits (FWB) and I had sex, pondering: “Why is the top of this black condom white?” After a few seconds, I suddenly realized that I was looking at a broken condom, and drove seemingly in autopilot to my friend’s house halfway across town to get some Plan B or somesuch for my FWB. That was surreal.

(We made the decision to have sex before the drugs were ingested, BTW, for those who think me some sort of date-rapist.)

Having sex with a friends-with-benefits while stoned out of your gourd? Man, I wish I had your problems, fetus

[Telperien]

AFAIK the tuxedo condoms are the black ones. Spiffy.

[Hostile_Dialect]

@Incubus

Having sex with a friends-with-benefits while stoned out of your gourd? Man, I wish I had your problems, fetus

Haha, sorry. For those who were curious, that particular day’s twister was 150 mg of Robitussin (coughgels) each.

[FinnAgain]

@fetus

So, what am I supposed to do, walk around the hall with a handle of Bacardi knocking on doors until I find an attractive and easy-seeming girl?

Just hang out in the area, make eye contact (for a fraction of a second longer than is ‘polite’), and chat someone up. Jeez… I can’t count the number of times when I was in college, just hanging around the dorms and I ended up chatting up or being chatted up by some girl. Happens kinda outa the blue often.

Oh, and, why would dropping some psychedelic (or making some tea) and then getting it on be anywhere near date rape? As I recall from college, that was a large part of the fun. Hang out with beautiful women, do strange and wonderful drugs, have strange and wonderful times.

Ah well.

[FinnAgain]

@fetus

Haha, sorry. For those who were curious, that particular day’s twister was 150 mg of Robitussin (coughgels) each.

UGGGGGGG.
Robotripping… yuck.

[Telperien]

@FinnAgain

Oh, and, why would dropping some psychedelic (or making some tea) and then getting it on be anywhere near date rape? As I recall from college, that was a large part of the fun. Hang out with beautiful women, do strange and wonderful drugs, have strange and wonderful times.

Ah well.

That’s what I’ve been doing wrong–no drugs!

That explains everything.

[FinnAgain]

@Harimad-sol

That’s what I’ve been doing wrong–no drugs!

That explains everything.

Well, if I remember correctly there were people who didn’t do drugs.
I’m not sure what exactly they did do…
I sure as hell never met them

[stately_plump_buck_mulligan]

So, what am I supposed to do, walk around the hall with a handle of Bacardi knocking on doors until I find an attractive and easy-seeming girl?

iffin it’s Ciclon, stop by my door.
I’m not easy, but I give good foot rubs.

[Telperien]

@FinnAgain

Well, if I remember correctly there were people who didn’t do drugs.
I’m not sure what exactly they did do…
I sure as hell never met them

Based on my experience, they play a lot of Scrabble. A game of Scrabble can lead to interesting things, though.

[Hostile_Dialect]

@FinnAgain

Just hang out in the area, make eye contact (for a fraction of a second longer than is ‘polite’), and chat someone up. Jeez… I can’t count the number of times when I was in college, just hanging around the dorms and I ended up chatting up or being chatted up by some girl. Happens kinda outa the blue often.

Hrm. Doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

@FinnAgain

Oh, and, why would dropping some psychedelic (or making some tea) and then getting it on be anywhere near date rape? As I recall from college, that was a large part of the fun. Hang out with beautiful women, do strange and wonderful drugs, have strange and wonderful times.

I agree with all this, but I figured some people might take it the wrong way when I say that I was having sex while twisted on drugs, so I included a disclaimer.

@FinnAgain

Robotripping… yuck.

Taking coughgels (as opposed to downing cough syrup - ick!) isn’t so bad. Well worth it IMO, although after a while taking all those pills does start to get a little tiresome.

@stately plump buck mulligan

iffin it’s Ciclon, stop by my door.
I’m not easy, but I give good foot rubs.

Sure thing! I could go for a good foot rub.

I’m quite good at giving rubs myself, although they generally don’t involve the feet

@FinnAgain

Well, if I remember correctly there were people who didn’t do drugs.
I’m not sure what exactly they did do…
I sure as hell never met them

Well, I don’t know what kind of school you went to, but I’ve never heard of such weirdos.

[Scissorjack]

@Q.E.D.

They aren’t serial numbers, exactly. They’re manufacturer plant codes and lot numbers, to assist in tracking bad batches and for general quality control. Each manufacturer will have its own numbering scheme.

{To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean}

My mother sells condoms to sailors
My father pricks them with a pin
My sister performs the abortions
My God, how the money rolls in.

{Trad.}