Oh Eton and Madgalene. I’ve obviously gotta 'splain everything to The Lady Majored-in-Fucking-Theatre. By the way, studying Fucking Theatre did you spend the whole four years with your cellulite-laden thighs in the air, or did you just let the professor take a ride up yer Hershey highway as your dissertation? No, nevermind the question - it’s obvious you aren’t talented enough for even the most generous PhD to give you a passing grade in exchange for a schtupping.
The referrence was from Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Scripts for each episode are in the book (that’s B-O-O-K) “All The Words”.
And I’ve lived my whole life in the USA. It’s called culture, though I’d guess that a flabby-assed white trash hog-callin’ queen’s only exposure to culture would be giving nickle rim-jobs behind the stands at the tractor pull every Saturday night.
kisses,
Tygr
PS: No, better, make that air-kisses. The suppurating pustules lining your hare-lip would make anything more an exercise in gag-reflex suppression.
You’ve live your whole life in the US, huh? I expect you’ve spent the whole of it in the same state, in the same county… likely in the same house. In fact, I’m willing to bet you’re sitting right now in the basement of your parents’ house, in your underwear, snarfing down stale cheese curls and swilling some cheap-ass generic beer, glorying in your flatulence. So, you got a date tonight, or is your sister busy?? I bet you got a mighty fine pick-up truck too…
Look, it may be your time of the month, but don’t go trying to pass it off as soup to me. Between the two of us I’m not the one that just fell off of the potato truck.
What in the hell did you eat today, FairyChatMom, moron pie with a side of stupid ice cream? It’s so far from soup you might as well call it anti-soup. Good gravy . . . what the hell kind of standards do we have these days for dopers?
Oh, an SUV?! A FUCKING SUV? You are SO in for it now, boy. I mean, shite, why would you make such a mind-fucked decision? Was your brain already so fried from thinking up the most unintelligable user name possible that you decided it would be a GOOD idea to buy the gas-guzzling, road-hogging, innocent bystander-killing, flipping over-ing, jacked up piece of crap SUV?
Child, you’ve obviously been deluded by the man. You single-cell-life-form-munging yuppie waste of space, I hope that your Lincoln Behemoth or whatever the Hell it’s called keels over and crushes you on the way to your next soccer game.
CHEESE!?! GOOD GOD MAN, ARE YOU ILL?
What in the holy fuck of god’s green earth are you babbling about. Cheese? To Glory? Have you taken your meds today!?
Let me guess you goat-felching low-life, you still believe the Moon is made of green cheese. Well wake up SUCKER! ’
And guess what? There’s no freaking Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy either!
(I’m still gathering evidence on the Easter Bunny)
Wake the fuck up and join us in the real world, where the only way you can talk to your mother is on a beautiful day in a boat, about feminine hygine.
Oh, the phone, huh? As if the phone is SO much more fucking important than this message board? Oh, I guess you’re so much better than me because YOU have people calling you on the motherfucking piece of shit phone, huh? Like now you’re Miss MotherFucking Popularity or something? Shit.
You probably think your namby-pamby-Cuba-Gooding-Jr-Faith-Hill-dumb-little-girl-with-voices sponsored soda is better than Coke, huh? “It’s the choice of a new generation,” you whine, huh? Did you ever TRY drinking a fucking Coke? Did you? Or are you just a sheep to the Madison Avenue propaganda machine?
And ‘more tasty’? Whatever happened to ‘tastier’? You’re ‘more stupid’ than wallpaper.
Awwwww, a hug, how cute. You want the teddy bear too, or should I just shove that right up your ass? Hug this, hug that, WTF? How is a hug supposed to help anything. You know what? It doesn’t. It’s just that all you losers realize that no one really likes you, so you want an excuse for someone to touch you, to get off on. I’m so disgusted.
2% milk is the devil.
Two percent? Heretic! Deluded schismatic scum! As all of the One True Faith[sup]TM[/sup] know, it is WHOLE milk that is the true evil in this world! It’s people like you that drive others away to thinking that there’s no such thing as evil milk at all! That’s just what the milk wants! Repent now, or be cast into the burning lake with all the others of your godforsaken cult!
I’d berate you some more, but the pizza guy just got here.
Well, far be it from me to take of any of your precious time when you could be talking to the fucking pizza guy. You’re just like my god damn friends, you know that? Soon as someone with a dick shows up, friendship and plans go out the window. I bet you don’t honor your commitments either, you pizza-guy-talking to jerk! I hate people who don’t keep their commitments! Like I don’t have anything better to do than wait for your sorry ass to get tired of whatever the hell is distracting you this time. The hell with this, I’m going to join a nunnary and take a vow of silence so I never have to talk to people like you again!!
So the Windows OS is some sort of a fucking airplane now huh? As a windoze user you must be one of those Bill Gates worshiping, monopolizing, “Mac’s suck”-ing, we’re gonna contorl the whole damn world guys, right ITR Chumpion? You think that information should be controled by big companys and that closed-source code is more marketable and will better the world. You don’t know shit about computers (the thing your typing on nitwit!) do you? You probably got your CPU in a box of cracker-jacks! You using a 286- don’t make me laugh, your windows boots up in what, a day and a half? I bet you could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy disket, you’re the biggest joke on the internet!
Besides, your amazing Winblows company, microshaft, dropped a fucking 1.21 points today! Fuck that! How the hell do you expect me to go to college on -1.21 points? Should I be expecting a tuition check from you in the mail ITR?
Well, aren’t you just the cat’s ass? You got a job? I work my fingers to the friggin’ bone serving unappreciative asses like you all day and all night. Hell, I may just spit in your food, you ingrate.
The Scorpions are the best band to ever come out of Germany.
(sorry man, but you walked into it) Oh! So you have to rely on jarbabyj to bail you out? I see how it is, you pathetic, whining, nose-wiping, MAMA’S-BOY!
Answering yourself, Astroboy? Is that the only way you can get someone to talk to you? Well, what do you expect when someone names themself after the cartoon character on their undershirt - and it would be nice if you washed it more than once a month. Cute gravy stains. Good thing you have the boards, since you don’t have a life.
Oh yes, by all means, lurkernomore, have some eggs. Nevermind about the unsung, unthanked chicken who shit them out for the benefit of your ever-expanding ass; what are you up to now, buying a whole fucking row of seats when you fly? Anyway, you’re much fatter than the chicken or her unhatched chicks ever got a chance to become.
Just go on and crack those eggs without a second thought, craptastic. I hope you choke on some shell, and go straight to hell where you belong.
I pay for abortions in minority neighborhoods to provide stem cells for use in developing more addictive narcotics.
Oh, your contacts are itchy. Poooooor baby! Here that? That’s world’s littlest violin playing “My Heart Bleeds For You”. You probably think you’re too good to wear glasses! “I don’t look good in glasses”, you whine. Well, la-de-da. They were good enough for Ben Franklin, but Nooooooooo! They aren’t good enough for you. Sheesh!
